David Watters, a graduate of Napier University, Edinburgh, Trinity College of Music, London and the Institute of Education, University of London, has worked internationally within education and Educational Management for more than 20 years.
He has taught extensively within many socially and culturally diverse settings; most recently as a Head of Performing Arts within Further Education.
He is a personal and professional development associate with The Pacific Institute(www.pacificinstitute.co.uk), personal coach, freelance writer and founding member of NBI Associates.
He is a writer on social equality issues, is a key player in the Equal Love Campaign UK and author of the forthcoming book, NEVER BLEND IN which features key voices from the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender community and which aims to inspire and encourage those who may lack self-esteem or who question their validity.
David is currently promoting a youtube campaign“Give ‘em Hope”and is asking individuals, couples and groups to make and share videos telling about the benefits of living with personal authenticity.
He has shared a platform with Stuart Milk and Peter Tatchell and is a supporter of 17-24-30, The Trevor Project, Schools Out, The Terrence Higgins Trust, The Albert Kennedy Trust and The Harvey Milk Foundation.
His background in arts and education, combined with a solid understanding of Cognitive Behavioural Strategies, and his passion for Equality Advocacy drive every aspect of his work as a personal development facilitator, motivational speaker and writer.
A resource for those who identify as male but are viewed by the world as female.
This clash in how we see ourselves and how we are perceived by others is a painful and challenging experience for many. Fortunately there is growing awareness and understanding of the transgender experience. There are numerous resources available and groups which exist to support and advise, to guide and validate your experience. Above all, even if you feel like the only FTM or F2M in your village, you are not alone.
This is not an exhaustive resource and I would be extremely grateful for any further links, particularly for young transmen.
Thanks and respect to my friend Jack Ori, for his incredible work in this area and particularly for his consistent support for our Give ‘em Hope family.
Jack Ori is a motivational life coach and writer serving the LGBT and autism communities, with a special focus on transgender people, people with Aspergers syndrome and their families. He has a Masters in creative writing from the University of Southern California and a Bachelors in psychology from Pitzer College; Jack supplements his formal education with life experiences in order to help you look deeper into yourself and find ways to live that work for you.
Jack says, “I work with people in the transgender and aspergers communities and their parents to help facilitate communication and to help them find answers to their problems and experience greater joy”.
This article extract is highly recommended for those who are struggling to find a way to “come out” to parents. Read this short introduction and click the link to go to Jack’s full, informative article.
Coming Out to Your Parents
Every aspect of the coming out process can help you feel relieved because you are no longer carrying as heavy a secret; in addition, coming out can help you feel more visible and less alone. Many transgender people are eager to come out to their families because they long for the recognition and love for their real selves that they have never fully felt. Others are reluctant to do so because they are pretty sure the reaction will be negative or they feel too fragile to handle parental rejection. Coming out to your parents is an intensely personal choice; there is no one decision that fits all transgender people and their families. If you’re considering coming out, there are certain things to consider.
Information for Family, Partners, Friends, and Allies
In this video eight families with transgender and gender non-conforming children ranging in ages from 5 to 25 share their stories. With the healthy development of their children at stake, parents must confront binary perceptions of gender, widespread transphobia and controversial parenting decisions.
TransFamily
www.transfamily.org
TransFamily is a support group for transgender and transsexual people, their parents, partners, children, other family members, friends, and supportive others. They provide referrals, literature, and over-the-phone information on all transgender issues.
Mermaids
www.mermaids.freeuk.com
A family support group in the UK for children and teenagers with gender issues. Has a medical section and an intersex medical section, advice to parents, writings of young people, coming out stories of young people, and a list of links of young trans people.
FTM Trans SOFFAs
groups.yahoo.com/group/FtM-trans-SOFFAs
This group is for SOFFAs (Significant Others, Friends, Family of FTMs: husbands, wives, partners, children, teens, siblings, boyfriends, girlfriends, lovers, friends and other allies). It is an unmoderated and relatively open group. All referred by FtM-trans moderator are welcome, as are lovers and allies from other lists, all subject to moderator approval. The object is support, friendship, and the open exchange of information.
Straight Men, FTM/GQ Partners
groups.yahoo.com/group/str8menftmpartner
This group is for straight or straightish non-trans male partners of FTMs, trans men, FTV/FCDs, and malewards-vectored genderqueer folk. This group is designed to fill a gap in support for the partners of transfolk and to be comfortable for straight non-trans guys to talk about how their partners’ gender identities and expressions affect them. You belong here if: you are a straight or mostly straight non-trans guy, and your female-assigned partner isn’t totally comfortable identifying or presenting as female.
The Boyz Club
groups.yahoo.com/group/TheBoyzClub-FtM-trans-SOFFAS/
This list is for male partners/lovers/boyfriends of (FtM) men, including those FtMs living with or otherwise involved with other FtMs. Poly, B*DSM and other alternative relationships supported. ‘PC’ attitudes not required. Basically, just a list for men in love with other men, FtM or not, but list is FtM-oriented. Women not excluded but list is primarily for males in relationships, including friendships, with FtMs and seeking support from like-minded persons.
This Guide is intended to provide information on topics of interest to female-to-male (FTM, F2M) trans men, and their friends and loved ones. Non-trans men have also found the pages on men’s grooming and clothing to be helpful. Transsexual, non-transsexual, intersex, transgender, genderqueer, questioning, and “just plain folks” are all welcome.
FTM London started in 1997 as a peer support group for female to male transgender or transsexual people.
Today we are a diverse and exciting group that continues to offer much needed support as well as information, resources and friendly networking for the FTM community. We work to alleviate the isolation that can be felt around gender identity issues.
We are comprised of trans guys, genderqueer people, and all those who were assigned female at birth and are questioning their gender identity. Although based in central London, many attend our meetings from further afield. We are one of the largest face to face groups of our kind in the country.
We’re here to meet the needs of our members and attendees. The meetings are in large part a chance to hang out with other trans people, have a cuppa and a chin wag. We offer peer support, information and literature as well as regular guest speakers who are experts in gender identity issues and trans culture.
want to get in touch?
If you feel like FTM London might be a good place for you, why not pop down to our next meeting, check out our website, give us a buzz or send us an email?
David Watters, a graduate of Napier University, Edinburgh, Trinity College of Music, London and the Institute of Education, University of London, has worked internationally within education and Educational Management for more than 20 years.
He has taught extensively within many socially and culturally diverse settings; most recently as a Head of Performing Arts within Further Education.
He is a personal and professional development associate with The Pacific Institute (www.pacificinstitute.co.uk), personal coach, freelance writer and founding member of NBI Associates.
He is a writer on social equality issues, is a key player in the Equal Love Campaign UK and author of the forthcoming book, NEVER BLEND IN which features key voices from the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender community and which aims to inspire and encourage those who may lack self-esteem or who question their validity.
David is currently promoting a youtube campaign“Give ‘em Hope”and is asking individuals, couples and groups to make and share videos telling about the benefits of living with personal authenticity.
He has shared a platform with Stuart Milk and Peter Tatchell and is a supporter of 17-24-30, The Trevor Project, Schools Out, The Terrence Higgins Trust, The Albert Kennedy Trust and The Harvey Milk Foundation.
His background in arts and education, combined with a solid understanding of Cognitive Behavioural Strategies, and his passion for Equality Advocacy drive every aspect of his work as a personal development facilitator, motivational speaker and writer.
Research and build a list of conferences being held around the country so that I can explore speaking opps on their behalf. Have your admin or virtual assistant do the same! Half the battle seems to be knowing what`s out there.
Search event sites like http://www.thetradeshowcalendar.com, to target your speaking opportunities submissions, contacts and deadlines monthly.
Create demand. Writing blogs, books, articles etc… Keep your name out there.
David Watters, a graduate of Napier University, Edinburgh, Trinity College of Music, London and the Institute of Education, University of London, has worked internationally within education and Educational Management for more than 20 years.
David is a writer and speaker on social equality issues, is a key player in the Equal Love Campaign UK and author of the forthcoming book, NEVER BLEND IN which features key voices from the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender community and which aims to inspire and encourage those who may lack self-esteem or who question their validity.
David is currently promoting a youtube campaign“Give ‘em Hope” and is asking individuals, couples and groups to make and share videos telling about the benefits of living with personal authenticity.
He has shared a platform with Stuart Milk and Peter Tatchell and is a supporter of 17-24-30, The Trevor Project, Schools Out, The Terrence Higgins Trust, The Albert Kennedy Trust and The Harvey Milk Foundation.
His background in arts and education, combined with a solid understanding of Cognitive Behavioural Strategies, and his passion for Equality Advocacy drive every aspect of his work as a personal development facilitator, motivational speaker and writer.
This really is not about my ego it is about raising the profile of this initiative.
WHY NOMINATE ME?
Apart from founding and coordinating the Give ‘em Hope Campaign, this is what I am doing to secure equality and diversity internationally:
I am currently fighting for marriage equality at the European Court of Human Rights as part of the Equal Love Campaign (www.equallove.org.uk),
I write on social inequality for www.ambiente.us, 10,000 Couples, Polari and other sites,
As a motivational speaker I have spoken at the NO to Hate Vigil in Trafalgar Square London alongside Peter Tatchell and Stuart Milk and additionally I speak regularly in the media about Equal Love and other areas of social inequality,
As the founder and coordinator of the GIVE ‘EM HOPE CAMPAIGN and with my music, media and art students and newly founded Andover Choir For Everyone, I will be staging a Pro-Equality Festival in 2012.
Additionally, I am Director of NBI Associates (www.nbiassociates.co.uk), a company founded with the sole purpose of eradicating labels, raising self-esteem and helping individuals to achieve their true potential.
I am currently running an online auction to raise money for HIV/AIDS Charity, the Terrence Higgins Trust: www.youtube.com/watch?v=od7NJt5kmDE
“…all that David does involves assisting people – any and all people – to live authentically, to no longer accept the judgments and limitations imposed on them by others, and to believe in themselves as valid individuals. To that end, he has recently undertaken two new endeavors: NBI Associates, an organization which empowers people to make personal and professional transformations, and the “Give ‘em Hope” video campaign on YouTube.”
The Independent on Sunday’s annual Pink List returns next month, celebrating the 101 most influential lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender men and women in Britain.
Since the list was last published in 2010, we can add to the list an England cricketer (Steven Davies), an X Factor winner (Joe McElderry) and a chart-topping singer (Jessie J). But influence is not all about hitting a boundary or appearing at Glastonbury on a gilded throne.
Of course, it takes courage to be gay in the public eye – particularly in the world of sport, for instance, or for women who aspire to thrive in a career in television. Last year, we awarded the joint number one position to the rugby player Gareth Thomas and Mary Portas, the Queen of Shops.
But there are many more people who daily improve life in this country without their work ever receiving applause. Campaigners who effect the first small changes that eventually become written into law. Volunteers who work with young people. They too deserve our garlands of praise.
This year, then, we would like to ask for your help. Do you know an unsung champion whose work promotes real progress and equality in this country? Is there someone whose name should be celebrated alongside national treasures such as Sir Ian McKellen, Alan Bennett, Sue Perkins and Jeanette Winterson? We want you to let us know.
You can send your nominations in the following ways: by email, to pinklist@independent.co.uk; or post your nomination at:www.independent.co.uk/pinklist2011; and by post: Pink List,The Independent on Sunday, 2 Derry Street, London W8 5HF. A panel of high-profile judges will pore over your suggestions and bring you their final 101 on 23 October.
Each year, the Pink List receives its fair share of praise and censure. And the ever-increasing number of worthy nominees proves that being gay is less and less of a defining factor. Here is proof that gay men and women can be sporting legends, or courageous soldiers, or actors, cabinet ministers, judges or dancers – anything at all.
As for the definition of influential – this time, that’s up to you. Let us know who inspires you. And if that person happens to be a chart-topping singer or a sporting star – well, we’re happy to consider them for the list, too.
DAVID E. WATTERS - TRAFALGAR SQUARE LONDON - 2010
Why nominate David Equality Watters (David Watters)?
Well, he is currently fighting for marriage equality at the European Court of Human Rights as part of the Equal Love Campaign (www.equallove.org.uk), he writes on social inequality for http://www.ambiente.us, 10,000 Couples, Polari and other sites, as a motivational speaker he has spoken at the NO to Hate Vigil in Trafalgar Square London alongside Peter Tatchell and Stuart Milk and additionally speaks regularly in the media about Equal Love and other areas of social inequality, he is the founder and coordinator of the GIVE ‘EM HOPE CAMPAIGN and with his students and newly founded Andover Choir For Everyone, he will be staging a Pro-Equality Festival in 2012.
Additionally, he is Director of NBI Associates (www.nbiassociates.co.uk), a company founded with the sole purpose of eradicating labels, raising self-esteem and helping individuals to achieve their true potential.
David is also currently running an online auction to raise money for HIV/AIDS Charity, the Terrence Higgins Trust:www.youtube.com/watch?v=od7NJt5kmDE
His first book, NEVER BLEND IN, should be completed later in 2011. More information of this below.
“…all that David does involves assisting people – any and all people – to live authentically, to no longer accept the judgments and limitations imposed on them by others, and to believe in themselves as valid individuals. To that end, he has recently undertaken two new endeavors: NBI Associates, an organization which empowers people to make personal and professional transformations, and the “Give ‘em Hope” video campaign on YouTube.”
NEVER BLEND IN is an accessible book about achieving personal authenticity, a groundbreaking and vital book of exclusive celebrity and deeply personal non-celebrity interviews, which is aimed primarily at a young lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or questioning audience. The book, however, is also of value to educators, parents, family and mental health professionals seeking insight into the LGBTQ experience.
Role models from education, entertainment, law enforcement, medical and emergency services, politics, religion and sports have participated in this much needed discourse to illuminate the reader’s journey of self-discovery and to illustrate that living a life unlimited by labels will lead to personal, professional and spiritual fulfilment.
These candid stories and wise words are a powerful toolkit to encourage, inspire, uplift and give hope to those who need it most; those who may feel disenfranchised or who may lack self-belief.
These stories of living authentically, with dignity and unlimited by labels will help readers to understand how self esteem determines the path they choose and that life need not be a self fulfilling prophecy when they improve self-concept, drive out fear and embrace new challenges as opportunities to learn and grow, eliminate self imposed limitations and cease dependence on others to provide validity.
Harvey Milk’s legacy is the growing number of proud lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) individuals who refuse to live their lives limited by the judgment of others.
The various voices in this book candidly and sincerely share their wisdom and belief that we can be an important part of society without blending in; that we can live with 100% authenticity, unlimited by labels; that we shouldn’t be expected to compromise our identity to find acceptance and everyone, regardless of sexuality or gender identity, has a right to fully live.
There is practical advice and guidance from the LGBT community on how life need not be a self-fulfilling prophecy and that by recognizing that our “truth” has been shaped through our relationships, our environment and our experiences, we can begin to change our perceptions, heighten our self-esteem and move toward our personal and professional goals with clear vision and purpose….
About the Author
Since graduating from The Institute of Education, University of London, David has gone on to train with LEAP, as a mediator, and is a qualified facilitator for The Pacific Institute.
David is currently promoting a youtube campaign “Give ‘em Hope” and is asking individuals, couples and groups to make and share videos telling about the benefits of living with personal authenticity.
As Director of NBI Associates, David devises and delivers engaging, enjoyable and interactive workshops utilizing Cognitive Behavioural and Performing Arts strategies for individual, corporate and academic clients.
He has shared a platform with Stuart Milk and Peter Tatchell and is a supporter of 17-24-30, The Trevor Project, Schools Out and The Harvey Milk Foundation.
Director of NBI Associates, motivational speaker and writer, David E. Watters, has recently launched a youtube video campaign to inspire, encourage and uplift those who may feel disenfranchised or who may lack self-belief.
THE “Give ‘em Hope” Video Campaign IS AN INITIATIVE TO INSPIRE ALL YOUTH AND ADULTS WHO MAY DOUBT THEIR VALIDITY because ALL people, regardless of cultural heritage, physical or psychological ability, age, sexuality or gender identity, may feel self-doubt at various stages in their lives.
Watters is seeking individuals, couples and groups to share their stories, in whichever way they choose, in a bid to provide support and encouragement to anyone who may question their place in the world. These stories of living authentically, with dignity and unlimited by labels will become a powerful toolkit to help others understand how self-perception determines the path that they choose and that life need not be a self fulfilling prophecy when they improve self-concept, drive out fear and embrace new challenges as opportunities to learn and to grow.
Director of NBI Associates, motivational speaker and writer, David E. Watters, has recently launched a youtube video campaign to inspire, encourage and uplift those who may feel disenfranchised or who may lack self-belief. THE “Give ‘em Hope” Video Campaign IS AN INITIATIVE TO INSPIRE ALL YOUTH AND ADULTS WHO MAY DOUBT THEIR VALIDITYbecause ALL people, regardless of cultural heritage, physical or psychological ability, age, sexuality or gender identity, may feel self-doubt at various stages in their lives. Watters is seeking individuals, couples and groups to share their stories, in whichever way they choose, in a bid to provide support and encouragement to anyone who may question their place in the world. These stories of living authentically, with dignity and unlimited by labels will become a powerful toolkit to help others understand how self-perception determines the path that they choose and that life need not be a self fulfilling prophecy when they improve self-concept, drive out fear and embrace new challenges as opportunities to learn and to grow.
The exceptionally gorgeous and talented Ukulady (Thessaly Lerner) and her amazing contribution to my “Give ‘em Hope” Campaign. For more on this wonderful woman check out: http://www.theukulady.com/index.html
This is what Thessaly said of my work on this campaign:
You are fabulous! I had a great time writing the song and I appreciate your support and heartsies and admire you and your awesome work! Keep it up, my friend! I’m proud of you! xoxoxo,Thessaly Thank you so much Thessaly. It is such a thrill to have a special song for the campaign. Much love, David xxxx
THE UKULADY
Born in an electric storm at home in Northern California to progressive artist-intellectuals, The Ukulady is a Creative Force of Nature!
Armed with her trusty Ukulele and a fleet of heavenly Cupcakes and Glitter Ponies, The Ukulady is The World’s Greatest Kids’ Entertainer for peeps age 0 — 110!!! Along with her imaginary best friendsies, various puppet & vintage-toy palsies, The Ukulady campaigns for The Downfall of Evil with Comedy & Heart-on-a-Sleeve music throughout the world!
The Ukulady has been featured on National Lampoon Radio, KPFK’s “Uke Spotlight”, the New York Ukulele Festival, Venetian Hotel in Vegas, Hollywood Improv, Laugh Factory, and Comedy Store & performs at Theaters, Comedy & Country Clubs, Pride & Fringe Festivals, Artwalks, Concert & Dance Halls, Summer Camps, Libraries, Schools, Spaceships & Pirate Ships throughout the Universe, and has hosted her own variety show, The Ponyshow, which ran in Hollywood for 9 months! The Ukulady has done hundreds of voiceovers for clients including Disney, Nickelodeon, WB Kids, Leapfrog Toys, and MTVGirl, and is known as the Teen Girl on the Sims 2 videogame franchise!
More recently, The Ukulady performed in Alabama, Georgia, San Francisco, LA & NYC, was the Grand Marshal of the “How Berkeley Can You Be” Parade, and wrote 6 holiday jingles for JibJab.com’s “Sendables” greeting cards, which feature the Ukulady & animated rainbow unicorns! The Ukulady performs monthly as the signature musical artist of Downtown LA’s Artwalk, as well as at dozens of other venues in LA and elsewhere!
The Ukulady is commissionable and would Love to perform at your party, show, wedding, bris, bar, bat mitzvah, BBQ, French-fryery, cupcake shop, festival, picnic, rave, restaurant, cabaret, parade, exhibition, gallery, after-party, pancake toss, sporty competition, nursery school, Friday assembly, spring-break beach, prom, graduation, Passover, Advent spiral, Harvest Dance, Halloween pumpkin scoop, slumber party, pizza-party, roller-skate race, gunny-sack hop, Pioneer Days, rodeo, carnival, state fair, cruiseship, private yacht, teatime, garden party, croquet match, cheese salon, slam-poetry comp, croissant-tasting, bachelor & ette events & more!
I may well have been a clumsy child, and even now I often have clownish catastrophes, but this does not define me. Awkward adolescents needn’t grow into apprehensive adults but many do because they have not questioned the validity of the definition and with each ungraceful act, fresh evidence is collected to verify that the label is correct.
I remember returning, after many years away, to the Scottish city in which I had grown up. It had been almost 15 years and the city had physically changed a great deal but sadly the attitudes of many living there remained unaltered.
I had been living in London, Brighton, briefly in San Francisco and even more briefly in Spain but, through a series of events, unfortunate or otherwise, I had found myself back in Bonnie Scotland, at my parent’s home on the banks of the River Tay.
As you can imagine, I’d been through the usual life-altering experiences (relationships, jobs, travel and at least one immensely overwhelming tragedy) of which you’ll no doubt hear more of later, and for some reason decided to visit a bar, the singular “gay” bar, that I had frequented in my misguided, underage youth.
There I was welcomed by “Fat Boab”, translated as Fat Bob, whose opening line was, “You’ve really put on the beef!” By which “Fat Boab” meant that I was perhaps a little more beefy, blimpy, bovine, bulging, bulky, burly or even chunky, dumpy, elephantine, gargantuan, gross, heavy, hefty, husky, lardy or more meaty than he recalled. I did remind him that the last time we had met was prior to my seventeenth birthday and that cream cakes and cheesy bakes can be cruel; I’d transformed from skinny vegan to slightly less slim line vegetarian.
A few days later, or perhaps that same day, in that same bar, I ran into someone else from my youth. Back then we had mutual friends, one in particular, so I sat with him and his gaggle of giggling girlfriends.
We spoke of our mutual friend and it soon became apparent that we had very different views on a number of issues. The subject changed, however, and, against my better judgment, I accepted a drink.
Trapped, and perhaps he felt the same, we talked about how our lives had been in the years since we had last met. As we chatted I could sense his unease and as I shared stories of the selected highlights from my seemingly strange and disjointed life he reacted with judgment, jealousy and, with a raised eyebrow above a jaundiced eye, he disparagingly declared, “You’ve changed”, to which all I could retort was, “…and you haven’t”.
Please don’t think that I was intentionally cruel but, if I’m being honest, I did feel justified and even empowered by this mild statement of self recognition.
I would go so far as to say that this was a moment of epiphany from which I’ve never looked back. In this brief but meaningful interaction I realized that I HAD changed; I was no longer meek and mild or afraid to express an opinion but more confident, worldly, and yes, opinionated but at the core I was still that same 17 year old who knew right from wrong, who could instinctively detect insincerity and the really remarkable aspect of this revelation was that I actually liked myself!
The point of this story is to illustrate that the opinions of others are just that, opinions, and the labels that were attached to me, as a teenager, may or may not have been correct at the time. In believing these labels to be a true definition of myself, I acted in ways which encouraged others to similarly define me but somehow, with time and experience, I redefined myself.
My reaction to these past acquaintances sent a clear, perhaps blunt, message that I was not who they perceived me to be. I may have changed, whether this meant physically having more flesh than bone or growing a backbone but what would be the point in living if the journey didn’t involve change?
A PRO-EQUALITY BLOG, written by Diversity Specialist, writer and motivational speaker David E Watters (NBI ASSOCIATES).
Articles on Equality & Diversity, Personal & Professional Development, Education & Management; his book, NEVER BLEND IN (http://www.nbiassociates.co.uk/Never-Blend-In.html), and the Give 'em Hope Campaign http://www.nbiassociates.co.uk/Give--em-Hope-Campaign.html)
