NOT THAT YOU NEED TO KNOW BUT: I’ve just finished work; blooming parents evening, so I’m just heading home now. Some days I think it would be easier to sleep under my desk to save the hassle of going home. The plus side is that I have a sandwich and some treats to make me feel less resentful that my life and probably my soul have been sold to my employer!! Maybe I will watch a film on my iPod. I downloaded BOYS DON’T CRY – has anyone seen it?
Boys Don’t Cry is a 1999 American independent romantic drama film directed by Kimberly Peirce and co-written by Andy Bienen. The film is a dramatization of the real-life story of Brandon Teena, a trans man played in the film by Hilary Swank, who is beaten, raped and murdered by his male acquaintances after they discover he is anatomically female. The picture explores the themes of freedom, courage, identity and empowerment. The film was distributed by Fox Searchlight Pictures and was released theatrically in October 1999.
A resource for those who identify as male but are viewed by the world as female.
This clash in how we see ourselves and how we are perceived by others is a painful and challenging experience for many. Fortunately there is growing awareness and understanding of the transgender experience. There are numerous resources available and groups which exist to support and advise, to guide and validate your experience. Above all, even if you feel like the only FTM or F2M in your village, you are not alone.
This is not an exhaustive resource and I would be extremely grateful for any further links, particularly for young transmen.
Thanks and respect to my friend Jack Ori, for his incredible work in this area and particularly for his consistent support for our Give ‘em Hope family.
Jack Ori is a motivational life coach and writer serving the LGBT and autism communities, with a special focus on transgender people, people with Aspergers syndrome and their families. He has a Masters in creative writing from the University of Southern California and a Bachelors in psychology from Pitzer College; Jack supplements his formal education with life experiences in order to help you look deeper into yourself and find ways to live that work for you.
Jack says, “I work with people in the transgender and aspergers communities and their parents to help facilitate communication and to help them find answers to their problems and experience greater joy”.
This article extract is highly recommended for those who are struggling to find a way to “come out” to parents. Read this short introduction and click the link to go to Jack’s full, informative article.
Coming Out to Your Parents
Every aspect of the coming out process can help you feel relieved because you are no longer carrying as heavy a secret; in addition, coming out can help you feel more visible and less alone. Many transgender people are eager to come out to their families because they long for the recognition and love for their real selves that they have never fully felt. Others are reluctant to do so because they are pretty sure the reaction will be negative or they feel too fragile to handle parental rejection. Coming out to your parents is an intensely personal choice; there is no one decision that fits all transgender people and their families. If you’re considering coming out, there are certain things to consider.
Information for Family, Partners, Friends, and Allies
In this video eight families with transgender and gender non-conforming children ranging in ages from 5 to 25 share their stories. With the healthy development of their children at stake, parents must confront binary perceptions of gender, widespread transphobia and controversial parenting decisions.
TransFamily
www.transfamily.org
TransFamily is a support group for transgender and transsexual people, their parents, partners, children, other family members, friends, and supportive others. They provide referrals, literature, and over-the-phone information on all transgender issues.
Mermaids
www.mermaids.freeuk.com
A family support group in the UK for children and teenagers with gender issues. Has a medical section and an intersex medical section, advice to parents, writings of young people, coming out stories of young people, and a list of links of young trans people.
FTM Trans SOFFAs
groups.yahoo.com/group/FtM-trans-SOFFAs
This group is for SOFFAs (Significant Others, Friends, Family of FTMs: husbands, wives, partners, children, teens, siblings, boyfriends, girlfriends, lovers, friends and other allies). It is an unmoderated and relatively open group. All referred by FtM-trans moderator are welcome, as are lovers and allies from other lists, all subject to moderator approval. The object is support, friendship, and the open exchange of information.
Straight Men, FTM/GQ Partners
groups.yahoo.com/group/str8menftmpartner
This group is for straight or straightish non-trans male partners of FTMs, trans men, FTV/FCDs, and malewards-vectored genderqueer folk. This group is designed to fill a gap in support for the partners of transfolk and to be comfortable for straight non-trans guys to talk about how their partners’ gender identities and expressions affect them. You belong here if: you are a straight or mostly straight non-trans guy, and your female-assigned partner isn’t totally comfortable identifying or presenting as female.
The Boyz Club
groups.yahoo.com/group/TheBoyzClub-FtM-trans-SOFFAS/
This list is for male partners/lovers/boyfriends of (FtM) men, including those FtMs living with or otherwise involved with other FtMs. Poly, B*DSM and other alternative relationships supported. ‘PC’ attitudes not required. Basically, just a list for men in love with other men, FtM or not, but list is FtM-oriented. Women not excluded but list is primarily for males in relationships, including friendships, with FtMs and seeking support from like-minded persons.
This Guide is intended to provide information on topics of interest to female-to-male (FTM, F2M) trans men, and their friends and loved ones. Non-trans men have also found the pages on men’s grooming and clothing to be helpful. Transsexual, non-transsexual, intersex, transgender, genderqueer, questioning, and “just plain folks” are all welcome.
FTM London started in 1997 as a peer support group for female to male transgender or transsexual people.
Today we are a diverse and exciting group that continues to offer much needed support as well as information, resources and friendly networking for the FTM community. We work to alleviate the isolation that can be felt around gender identity issues.
We are comprised of trans guys, genderqueer people, and all those who were assigned female at birth and are questioning their gender identity. Although based in central London, many attend our meetings from further afield. We are one of the largest face to face groups of our kind in the country.
We’re here to meet the needs of our members and attendees. The meetings are in large part a chance to hang out with other trans people, have a cuppa and a chin wag. We offer peer support, information and literature as well as regular guest speakers who are experts in gender identity issues and trans culture.
want to get in touch?
If you feel like FTM London might be a good place for you, why not pop down to our next meeting, check out our website, give us a buzz or send us an email?
David Watters, a graduate of Napier University, Edinburgh, Trinity College of Music, London and the Institute of Education, University of London, has worked internationally within education and Educational Management for more than 20 years.
He has taught extensively within many socially and culturally diverse settings; most recently as a Head of Performing Arts within Further Education.
He is a personal and professional development associate with The Pacific Institute (www.pacificinstitute.co.uk), personal coach, freelance writer and founding member of NBI Associates.
He is a writer on social equality issues, is a key player in the Equal Love Campaign UK and author of the forthcoming book, NEVER BLEND IN which features key voices from the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender community and which aims to inspire and encourage those who may lack self-esteem or who question their validity.
David is currently promoting a youtube campaign“Give ‘em Hope”and is asking individuals, couples and groups to make and share videos telling about the benefits of living with personal authenticity.
He has shared a platform with Stuart Milk and Peter Tatchell and is a supporter of 17-24-30, The Trevor Project, Schools Out, The Terrence Higgins Trust, The Albert Kennedy Trust and The Harvey Milk Foundation.
His background in arts and education, combined with a solid understanding of Cognitive Behavioural Strategies, and his passion for Equality Advocacy drive every aspect of his work as a personal development facilitator, motivational speaker and writer.
Valued and inspirational NEVER BLEND IN contributor, David E. Weekley is an ordained United Methodist clergy. He received his BA in Psychology from Cleveland State University in 1976 and entered seminary at Boston University School of Theology, where he earned an MDiv in 1982. He has served churches in the Oregon-Idaho Annual Conference for twenty-eight years.
He has just published an incredibly valuable book of his own, IN FROM THE WILDERNESS.
The Rev. David Weekley: “I am very positive about sharing my story, because I believe it is the best way to help educate our society about transgender persons; there is so much misinformation out there, and fear, that it seems imperative to become active. Because some segments of the Church are responsible for a portion of this misinformation and fear, it seems even more critical for others to hear a positive and personal faith story from a transgender person.”
ISBN#978-1-60899-544-8 WIPF and STOCK Publishers, 199 W. 8th Ave, Suite 3, Eugene, OR 97401
The Book is available now (February 24th at 2:30pm)!!!!!
By phone, email or fax….the cost is $18.00,
In another week it will on their web site, and in 6-8 weeks through Amazon, Barnes & Noble etc.
In From The Wilderness (She-R-Man), by, David E. Weekley/United Methodist Clergy
The stories of transgender people reach back to the beginnings of recorded history. At this particular point in time the psychiatric, medical, and secular worlds are beginning to appreciate the authenticity of Lesbian, Gay, Transgender, Bisexual, and Queer people. Sadly many Christian churches and denominations continue to oppress and vilify the LGTBQ community.. This is the story of a transgender man who has been an ordained elder in The United Methodist Church since 1984 and has quietly served his congregations for twenty-eight years before sharing his story and spiritual journey with his congregation, denomination, and the world. This is the story of a Transgender man, a Christian, an ordained minister, a loving husband and father~a human being. It is his challenge to his denomination and to all Christians and spiritual seekers to consider the truth of gender identity and sexual orientation as God given gifts.to be celebrated and embraced among all other gifts.
ISBN#978-1-60899-544-8
WIPF and STOCK Publishers, 199 W. 8th Ave, Suite 3, Eugene, OR 97401
Phone: (541)344-1528
FAX: (541)344-1506
Orders@wipfandstock.com
“Questions about whether a transgender pastor can have a successful ministry have been resoundingly answered in the affirmative in this story of three decades of effective and inspiring pastoral ministry, while keeping secret from the church and society his gender reassignment surgery.
Remarkable~courageous~encouraging!”
BISHOP CALVIN D. McCONNELL, Retired, Portland,OR
“From the time David was appointed my pastor in the 1980’s, to the compelling revelation of his challenging circumstances, he has sustained his integrity, his courageous, creative, inclusive ministry and hope-filled spirit. His personal story offers liberation to others trapped, either in their bodies or in gender roles defined by society.”
VELMA DUELL McCONNELL, Lay Pastoral Care, Portland, Oregon
“David Weekley shares his wilderness journey in this warm and honest autobiography. In the wilderness(both past and present), David has encountered deep loneliness, powerful mentoring and friendship, unbearable pain, and profound joy. Through it all, he has journeyed with a courage that will inspire courage in his readers. As a teenager, David could not speak of himself as “I” but only as “i.” He gradually learned to honor himself and to form deep and honest relationships, which have shaped his powerful and compassionate ministry with others. Thank you, David!”
MARY ELIZABETH MOORE, Boston University
THANK YOU TO DAVID AND TO HIS DEVOTED AND EQUALLY INSPIRATIONAL WIFE DEBORAH FOR ENHANCING MY LIFE, FOR LIVING AUTHENTICALLY AND WITH COURAGE.
A PRO-EQUALITY BLOG, written by Diversity Specialist, writer and motivational speaker David E Watters (NBI ASSOCIATES).
Articles on Equality & Diversity, Personal & Professional Development, Education & Management; his book, NEVER BLEND IN (http://www.nbiassociates.co.uk/Never-Blend-In.html), and the Give 'em Hope Campaign http://www.nbiassociates.co.uk/Give--em-Hope-Campaign.html)
