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NEVER BLEND IN
How to live unlimited by labels
DAVID E. WATTERS
FOREWORD: STUART MILK
 NEVER BLEND IN is an accessible book about achieving personal authenticity, a groundbreaking and vital book of exclusive celebrity and deeply personal non-celebrity interviews, which is aimed primarily at a young lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or questioning audience. The book, however, is also of value to educators, parents, family and mental health professionals seeking insight into the LGBTQ experience.
Role models from education, entertainment, law enforcement, medical and emergency services, politics, religion and sports have participated in this accessible and much needed discourse to illuminate the reader’s journey of self-discovery and to illustrate that living a life unlimited by labels will lead to personal, professional and spiritual fulfilment.
 These candid stories and wise words are a powerful toolkit to encourage, inspire, uplift and give hope to those who need it most; those who may feel disenfranchised or who may lack self-belief.
 STALKING ALAN CUMMING Inspired by the life of Harvey Milk and with a foreword by his nephew Stuart Milk, this book includes original and insightful interviews with actors Alan Cumming OBE (Cabaret, Spy Kids, The Good Wife), Stephen Fry (Peter’s Friends, Wilde), Anthony Rapp (Rent), Colton Ford (The Lair), Marcus Patrick (My Wife & Kids, CSI: Miami, Passions and Dancing With The Stars), Scotch Ellis Loring (Frasier, Malcolm in the Middle, 24, Alias, Touched by An Angel) and Adele Anderson (Fascinating Aida); key equality advocates, educators and influencers of policy Sue Sanders (Schools Out), Charles Robbins (CEO, The Trevor Project), Stephen Williams MP, Jack MacKenroth (Project Runway, Queens of Drag: NYC), Rabbi Denise Eger, Lt. Dan Choi and veteran human rights campaigner, Peter Tatchell; filmmaker Parvez Sharma (A Jihad for Love); musicians Darren Hayes (Savage Garden) and Levi Kreis (Tony Award winner for “Best Featured Actor in a Musical” for his role as Jerry Lee Lewis in the Broadway musical Million Dollar Quartet) ; sporting greats, NBA star, John Amaechi (author of Man in the Middle) and Olympic swimmer Bruce Hayes; transgender trailblazers Calpernia Addams, the Rev David E. Weekley (author of In from the Wilderness) and Jamison Green (author of Becoming a Visible Man); Mental Health professionals, Gladeana McMahon, Antoine Spiteri and Dr. John Shafer; writers Tom Robb Smith (Child 44, The Secret Speech), Leslea Newman (A Letter to Harvey Milk), Linda Goldman (Coming Out, Coming In), Michael Musto (The Village Voice); Del Shores (Sordid Lives) and Stephanie Silberstein (Shades of Gay); representatives from organizations including The Trevor Project, The Harvey Milk Foundation, PFLAG, FireFLAG, The Gay Police Association and Schools Out and colleagues of Harvey Milk; Anne Kronenberg, Daniel Nicoletta and Tom Ammiano.
 with Stuart Milk 2009 These stories of living authentically, with dignity and unlimited by labels will help readers to understand how self esteem determines the path they choose and that life need not be a self fulfilling prophecy when they improve self-concept, drive out fear and embrace new challenges as opportunities to learn and grow, eliminate self imposed limitations and cease dependence on others to provide validity.
David E. Watters
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Tag Archives: JACK MACKENROTH
I’M YOUR MAN
David E. Watters, a graduate of Trinity College of Music, London and the Institute of Education, University of London, has worked internationally as a performer, director and educator for more than 20 years, has taught literacy, drama and music within a wide variety of socially and culturally diverse settings and, as a personal and professional development associate with The Pacific Institute (www.pacificinstitute.co.uk), a personal tutor, freelance writer, public speaker and founding member of NBI Associates (www.nbiassociates.co.uk), is an Equality Advocate who brings inspiration and motivation, enhances personal efficacy and encourages excellence.
As a performer he has worked for Disney, Warner Brothers, English Chamber Orchestra, Scottish Chamber Orchestra, Mayfield Chamber Opera amongst many others.
As a teacher, David was most recently a Head of Department in Further Education with a 100% pass rate and a fantastic progression record; students currently studying at Laban, Rose Bruford, RADA, Trinity College of Music. and working successfully within the industry – most recent success being Rachel Adedeji who reached the televised finals of X Factor 2009.
David, who regularly writes for www.ambiente.us, One Nation and Polari, has been championed by Stuart Milk, nephew of Harvey Milk and Equality Advocate, who has said: “I love your work, which is vital to show the richness of embracing and celebrating our wonderful diversity. As Harvey would say, you’re bringing medicine into the world that the world needs! Thank you!”
He is an inspirational, motivational speaker who most recently shared a platform with Peter Tatchell and Stuart Milk at the 17-24-30 No to Hate Vigil in Trafalgar Square, London.
http://www.nbiassociates.co.uk/Invite-DAVID-To-Speak-.html
David is currently finalizing his book, Never Blend In: The Legacy of Harvey Milk which supports and is supported by The Trevor Project and the Harvey Milk Foundation.
The book sets out to highlight and challenge social perceptions of the LGBT community; to understand the causes of low self-esteem and suicide ideation felt by many LGBT individuals and, through a unique collection of inspirational interviews with well known and everyday people, to inspire and encourage the younger generation, or anyone questioning their validity, to lead a balanced, fulfilling and dignified life.
Role models from education, entertainment, law enforcement, medical and emergency services, politics, religion and sports have participated in this accessible and much needed discourse to illuminate the reader’s journey of self-discovery and self- efficacy.
Openly LGBT and successful role model figures can play an enormous part in highlighting the wealth of possibilities available to young people. These people, who are successfully modeling admirable qualities and character traits such as determination, diligence, vision and consistent effort, can only serve to inspire and encourage the younger generation, or anyone questioning their validity, to lead a balanced, fulfilling and dignified life.
Notable voices in the book are Harvey’s colleagues, Anne Kronenberg, Tom Ammiano and Danny Nicoletta; Equality Advocate, Stuart Milk; actors Stephen Fry, Alan Cumming and Anthony Rapp; Human Rights Campaigner, Peter Tatchell; musician Darren Hayes (Savage Garden); Sordid Lives writer Del Shores; columnist, Michael Musto; filmmaker, Parvez Sharma; actress and businesswoman, Calpernia Addams; NBA star John Amaechi; Rabbi Denise Eger, Rev. David Weekley, Lt. Daniel Choi and authors Lesléa Newman and Tom Rob Smith.
We, as a community, are under or misrepresented in the media and this impacts upon how individuals are perceived and treated by society. Positive, inspirational role models from the LGBT community can have an enormous impact on addressing this and can give hope to individuals who feel less valid and disenfranchised from society.
Most inspiring have been the “regular” people (the Scottish fireman, the Canadian concert pianist, the American professor, the South African artist or the student in Cardiff) who live with authenticity and, perhaps without realizing, are role models and inspirational figures to those whose lives they touch.
The “community” if such a thing exists is diverse but too many live in the shadows. My point, with this book, is that self worth determines our potential and that blending in is a direct result of feeling “less than”, feeling ashamed of how God (whatever that means to you) made you”.
Harvey Milk’s legacy, for this author, is the growing number of proud LGBT individuals who refuse to live lives limited by the judgment of others.
We can be part of society without blending in. To me it means living with 100% authenticity (as Dr Phil or Oprah might say!). We shouldn’t compromise our identity to be accepted and everyone regardless of sexuality or gender identity has a right to fully live.
Life need not be a self-fulfilling prophecy and by recognizing that our “truth” has been shaped through our relationships, our environment and our experiences, we can begin to change our perceptions, heighten our self-esteem and move toward our personal and professional goals with clear vision and purpose….
David’s background in arts and education, combined with a solid understanding of CBT, and his passion for Equality Advocacy drive every aspect of his work as a motivational speaker, personal development facilitator and a writer.
LINKS
WRITING: http://www.nbiassociates.co.uk/Links.html
MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKING: http://www.nbiassociates.co.uk/Invite-DAVID-To-Speak-.html
COACHING: http://www.nbiassociates.co.uk/NBI-for-Individuals.html
WORKSHOPS –
SCHOOLS AND COLLEGES: http://www.nbiassociates.co.uk/NBI-for-Schools—Colleges.html
CREATIVE CHALLENGE DAYS FOR PERFORMERS: http://www.nbiassociates.co.uk/CREATIVE-CHALLENGE-DAYS.html
NBI FOR BUSINESSES: http://www.nbiassociates.co.uk/NBI-for-Businesses.html
EQUAL LOVE: www.equallove.org.uk
Please email DAVID WATTERS at DavidWatters@nbiassociates.co.uk
with your requirements and availability.
David E. Watters
Enhancing Learning • Improving Performance • Inspiring Learners
EXPERIENCED WRITER, TEACHER, PERSONAL TUTOR & SPEAKER
…dedicated to guiding students to succeed while inspiring an insatiable passion for learning through performance
David E. Watters, a graduate of Trinity College of Music, London and the Institute of Education, University of London, has worked internationally as a director and educator for more than 20 years, has taught literacy, drama and music within a wide variety of socially and culturally diverse settings and, as a personal and professional development associate with The Pacific Institute, a personal tutor, freelance writer, public speaker and founding member of NBI Associates, is an Equality Advocate who brings inspiration and motivation, enhances personal efficacy and encourages excellence.
SUMMARY OF SKILLS
Advanced IT Skills - MS OFFICE – WORD, POWERPOINT, OUTLOOK, INTERNET MARKETING TOOLS, INTRANET.
Literacy, Numeracy, Employability Skills, Performing Arts – embedding key skills within vocational learning.
Devising, Developing and Coordination – utilizing differentiated teaching strategies and resources to accommodate specific learning requirements and liaising with Heads of Department, teaching staff and external partners.
Communication and Interpersonal Skills – development of Creative Partnerships, interdepartmental liaison and extensive public performance. I have been a school manager, Head of Department, teacher and personal tutor. Also a public speaker and writer on social equality, I work with a broad range of charities (17-24-30, the Albert Kennedy Trust, the Harvey Milk Foundation and the Trevor Project) and, as part of the Equal Love UK Campaign, I coordinate publicity with local and national media.
Collaboration – I have had a broad range of teaching and management experience which has enhanced my capacity for working supportively within a team environment and adapt well to both following and delivering instruction. As an education coordinator, I have been instrumental in coordinating educational and charity events which have involved the liaison with public figures (including Kylie Minogue, Stephen Fry, Darren Hayes and Joan Baez), educational establishments and charitable organizations (notably, The Terrence Higgins Trust).
SUMMARY OF QUALIFICATIONS
- The Institute of Education, University of London – PGCE. 2006
- SMART TRAINING – Edexcel Level 3 BTEC Award in Management. 2010
- SMART TRAINING – Edexcel Level 3 NVQ in Management. 2010
- The Pacific Institute – Facilitator for PX2 PROGRAM. 2010
- The Pacific Institute – Facilitator for the Investment in Excellence. 2009
- American Express Europe Limited – ICP (Instructors Certificate). 2001
- Trinity College of Music, London – DipTCL (Merit). 1996
- Napier University, Edinburgh – Diploma in Music, ALCM (Performance) and LLCM (Peripatetic Teaching Qualification). 1991 and 1992
- Dundee College of Further Education – NVQ Theatre Arts 1989
HIGHLIGHTED TEACHING EXPERIENCE
July 2010: NBI Associates – Program Director: Music & Drama Based education programs utilizing Cognitive Behavioural strategies to encourage personal efficacy, goal setting and to eradicate limiting labels. Responsible for writing courses, training staff, creating resources which cater for different learning requirement of individuals and environments.
July 2009 – Present: The Pacific Institute – Personal and Professional Development Facilitator: Management consultancy and market research to create courses specific to individual business or community requirements. Following key concepts and Learning Objectives, I devise and deliver customer focused courses.
July 2006 – July 2010: Greenwich Community College – Musical Theatre Coordinator: Responsibility for WRITING UNITS BASED ON GIVEN CRITERIA (BTEC FIRST, BTEC ND, LOCN) and the coordination and delivery of BTEC FIRST & ND Performing Arts (Musical Theatre). Creation of relevant learning resources, writing Schemes of Work, Assignment Briefs, Internal Verification, Coordination of External Verification. Additionally, staff recruitment and support; providing guidance and training where necessary, Portfolio Development, Strategy Planning, interdepartmental liaison and coordination with particular regard to performance events, student guidance towards entry into Higher Education providing them with the correct balance of knowledge, skills and experience to confidently audition for Drama School, University or to enter the profession directly.
April 2004 – August 2006: Plumstead Manor School – Musical Theatre Tutor: Responsible for devising, delivering and assessing the work for BTEC First and BTEC ND Performing Arts Courses. Classroom teacher for Years 7 to 11 including GCSE. Singing teacher and choirmaster. Direction and/or Musical Direction for Unit related performances.
Jan 2004 – Dec 2005: Theatretrain – Franchisee and School Manager for Greenwich Theatretrain: This role involved program planning, Staff and Student Recruitment and Retention, Budget Planning, Accounting, Publicity and Promotion, Project Coordination, Event Management (both large and small scale); Script Writing/Adapting, Musical Arranging, Costume/Prop/Set Designing and Building/Making and Scheduling, the building of Creative Partnerships, Student Welfare and staff/student/parent liaison.
May 2003 – August 2006: Bexley Business Academy, Kent – Peripatetic singing Tutor and Choirmaster: Responsible for teaching technique, repertoire and musicianship to students preparing for Rockschool, Associated Board and GCSE Examinations. Choirmaster role was to build a varied choral repertoire suitable for performance at internal and external events (Assemblies, Award Ceremonies and Local Festivals)
2000 – 2002: American Express Europe – Line Instructor and Training Co-ordinator: Responsible for coordinating training with recruitment needs. Devising and delivering training on Products, Processes and Systems for New Accounts EMEA (Europe, Middle East and Asia ). Creation of learning tools and resources. Staff training and support.
1998 – 1999: Reynolds Theatre Academy, Dartford – Head of Vocal Studies.
REFEREES
Available upon request
ENDORSEMENTS
COPYRIGHT NOTICE © TEXT & IMAGES
Stuart Milk, nephew of Harvey Milk and Equality Advocate, has said: “I love your work, which is vital to show the richness of embracing and celebrating our wonderful diversity. As Harvey would say, you’re bringing medicine into the world that the world needs! Thank you!”
I think that out of everyone in society LGBT people, especially LGBT youth, are subjected to most negative energy and the most negative portrayals of themselves and so it’s really important for us as a community to give back and to let people see that the sun can shine
ALAN CUMMING
He (Harvey Milk) had great confidence in me; I really felt that the basic message was “you can do it”. He was a cheerleader first and then he would deconstruct content second. I think there was always this attention to helping somebody really feel that they can make their way.
If you look at his speeches that’s there; there’s really this broad stroke that’s about positivity and confidence so you’re on the right path in terms of carrying on his work that way.
For me as a care professional, working in chem-dependency, to have any kind of guidebook that talks about self-esteem or how to keep people from committing suicide…I’m all for it. The few kids that have shown up that had suicide ideation, quite honestly, I didn’t have a template for what to tell them so I had to rely upon my intuition but I have no idea if I’m doing the right thing. I definitely feel that the therapeutic community, the psychological therapeutic community has a role to play in LGBT civil rights and I applaud you for doing this.
I was reading some of your pages on your website and I thought, “This is the antidote to my suicidal friend. If he could just read this, it would help him rephrase what he is defaulting to now.”
This is a very spiritually adept person; he’s practiced many disciplines, meditates, and he’s gone through all kinds of personal growth stuff and, because of his propensity to respond to his own addiction, he really ends up in these suicidal places. It’s really heartbreaking, you know and I don’t know why I got saved, why I didn’t, why I figured it out, how not to do that. When I see this happening to him, it’s just mind-boggling and it really is good to have a map available to find your way out of those negative moods.
DAN NICOLETTA
For young people coming to terms with their sexuality it’s really important that they have positive, high achieving role models as a way of boosting their self esteem and confidence. This kind of book shares the experience of a very diverse group of LGBT people. Individual and collective experience offers the inspiration and motivation for LGBT people to do something worthwhile with their lives and live their dream.
PETER TATCHELL
There are two ways you can approach not fitting in. If you get to see it as a blessing, feeling like an Outsider can eventually give you the freedom and license to create your own world, follow your own goals, and make your own reality. I’ve always thought it must be a lot harder for those who effortlessly belong – how much stronger the temptation to just blend in and be a non-questioning sheep! Yes, there is pain. Feelings of rejection, confusion, self-doubt. But think of those negatives in a positive light: you have the chance to acquire resilience, fortitude, understanding and the realization but you have one life to live, so you absolutely have the right to live it your way!
It’s no shame to get help and inspiration from others, which is why David Watters ‘Never Blend In’, is so timely.
TRISHA GODDARD
At all times, but especially as an adolescent you need to be told “You are not alone” – there is no more positive and euphoric feeling than the discovery that others, including people of courage, genius, insight, passion, talent and charm felt the kind of feelings you feel. Especially when society, religion and the world tell you that those feelings are wrong.
I have to modify that with this point though: some people growing up LGBT will certainly want affirmation that they are not alone, but they will also (quite rightly IMHO) resist the idea that there is a “type” and that they fall into a categorisation. Such is the human paradox, yearning to assimilated and demanding to be treated as unique and apart. A part of the tribe and apart from the tribe. There are plenty of young LGBT people I know or have known who hate the idea of any sort of ghetto or connection with others. I’m Jewish and I’ll fight against anti-Semitism, but I’ll also raise issues about Israel’s violations of human rights and express my happy atheism and contempt for much of Judaism… It’s not a question of “hurrah, there’s a role model, now I know who I am and who my people are and where I belong in
the world.”
STEPHEN FRY
Role models are described as those individuals who we ‘aspire to’ and who provide strong and achievable targets that we can emulate in pursuit of our career or personal aims. This book breaks down the common stereotypes of gay people and unveils a more realistic perspective, chronicling the success of many gay role models that others aspire to.
In “Never Blend In” David Watters has brought together a number of role models in one publication featuring successful gay artists, scientists and entrepreneurs, who share their experiences and take you on their journey. These are men and women with whom you can relate, whose stories will inspire and motivate you and leave you ready to move forward, both personally and professionally.
Be inspired by the successful members of the gay community; real men and women. Read about the challenges they faced along the way, what helped to keep them going, and what it takes to make a small business, a life, a success.
This book illustrates the breadth and creativity of gays everywhere. It is a pioneering work and the success stories of inspirational gay role models from a wide variety of backgrounds should be made available in every library, every school. These are men and women you can aspire to but who have all shown just what it takes to become a role model – determination, courage and an unwavering desire to succeed.
“Never Blend In” brings you some amazing candidates all of whom have succeeded in very different ways. They each have inspiring stories to tell about their achievements and future ambitions, yet I noticed they all had one thing in common they were passionate about what they did.
So in reality gays are still struggling for acceptance and to reach the top of the ladder. However, I think for the gay who enters the celebrity arena or who decides to do his/her own thing - they no longer have to do it at the expense of their happiness- they can do things on their own terms. For many it will provide them with the work/ life balance that wasn’t available for them in the past. It’s vital we have gays in big business and we need more gays to be there. I think companies need to realize they can’t operate without gays. But they do need to provide the very thing we all tend to take for granted – the basic right of being given the same opportunities and earning power as str8 men. We are mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, lovers, and friends. We are like you.
Anthony Spiteri, BS, MSc, PhD (Psychology)
The book NEVER BLEND IN is a provocative look into the lives of successful people who live in a world where the odds are stacked against us. It is important to give hope to the younger generation with diverse sexual orientations to see that we can be happy, healthy, and successful players in this game we call life. I hope by telling my story in this book, I can, in some small way, make life easier for those who march to the beat of a different drum. I am a rebel with a cause…you can either march with me, or step out of my way.
I am excited to order several copies of your book and share them with friends and family as gifts. I may try to use it with one of my classes that I teach at my college on the psychology of diversity.
DR JOHN R. SHAFER, Director of the Counseling Center and Professor at Franklin College of Indiana, President, Shafer Consulting Services
Gladeana McMahon, As one of the leading personal development and transformational coaches in the UK, Gladeana was instrumental in founding the Association for Coaching for which she now holds the positions of Life Fellow and Vice President.
The Book that David Watters is proposing is long overdue as there is little written on the topic of LGBT issues.
Positive role models are important to individuals whether they be LGBT individuals talking about their experiences or the family and friends of such individuals who can model acceptance and positive affirmation. Therapists are likely to be interested in such a book in a bid to understand the specific needs of those who identify as LGBT considering the best ways to work with such individuals and/or their families. Academics are likely to find the book useful in considering issues around diversity and, of course, the general public will also benefit as a book of this sort educates the reader. This book will also help LGBT individuals to understand their situation and consider how to develop a deep and meaningful sense of self-worth. It will also help such individuals understand how best to help those around them to understand their situation as much as it will educate family and friends.
NEVER BLEND IN, and the efforts of writer David Watters, is a brilliant collection and resource of openly LGBT and successful role models across the globe. The value to all, especially for the younger generation, is paramount. The presentation of individuals who are successful, determined, active and visible in our communities will undoubtedly inspire all who read this collection, to do better, become a better person, and strive for greatness in their lives and that of others.
The LGBT community has often been portrayed in a less than favorable light – NEVER BLEND IN rips that inaccurate veil off, and offers a face and portrait of today’s LGBT community, its leaders, history, accomplishments and potential.
Herb Sosa, Editor|Publisher – Ambiente Magazine
& President – Unity Coalition|Coalicion Unida
“NEVER BLEND IN is a vital project that is sure to make a difference in many young (and not so young!) lives. As the author of HEATHER HAS TWO MOMMIES, I have seen firsthand how important it is for children to see a family like theirs portrayed in the media. It is just as important for teenagers and adults to see themselves represented in books, in film, and on TV.
By showcasing people who are out as lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender and living authentic lives, David Watters is sending an important message to those struggling to come out and be out: You CAN be yourself and live a full, satisfying, meaningful, and glorious life.”–
Lesléa Newman
This book is crucially important because we need to continually shed light on the struggles and adversity facing the LGBT community.
We can never become complacent in our fight for equal rights and we need to remember the trailblazers who ignited the spark for the flame of progress that burns today.
As role models following in the legacy of others like Harvey Milk, we need to stand as proud confident people and continue to broaden the path of acceptance for those that follow us.
JACK MACKENROTH
“Never Blend In: The Legacy of Harvey Milk” is an important work that will inspire and lead at the same time. Harvey’s legacy to us is one of activism, “can do” spirit and honesty.
This project authored and edited by David Watters will help certainly reach out and touch a generation of young people who will be the ones to carry on his legacy by helping transform our perceptions of the LGBT community and lay the foundation for a healthy and whole sense of self.
Rabbi Denise L. Eger
Congregation Kol Ami
West Hollywood’s Reform Synagogue
1200 N. La Brea Ave
West Hollywood, CA 90038
…we are in the fight for our very lives. NEVER BLEND IN says that we are committed to living out in the open, as we have a right to do. NEVER BLEND IN, means never settle for second best or the notion that we are “second class citizens” I will NEVER blend in. SIMONE CAMPBELL
I always feel inspired by someone everyday. I think we should learn something new each day from anywhere or anyone. I’m inspired right now, by you, answering your intelligent questions Mr. David Watters. It’s not often I get to answer some great meaningful questions. So Bravo!!!
MARCUS PATRICK
There’s plenty of times in this world where we can feel isolated and alone and anytime we can find a source of community, a feeling of being a part of something bigger than ourselves; that can provide tremendous inspiration and solace, then that’s invaluable.
ANTHONY RAPP
READY FOR PUBLICATION NOW
STALKING ALAN CUMMING
In what would have been Harvey Milk’s 80th year, a book celebrating his life and legacy is born.
Never Blend In: The Legacy of Harvey Milk by British writer David Watters, and with a foreword by Harvey’s nephew, Stuart Milk, is a timely and unique collection of inspirational interviews with well known and everyday people who represent the great diversity within the LGBT Community.
The research, supported by PFLAG, The Trevor Project, FFLAG (UK), The Gay Police Association (GPA) and Schools OUT (UK), investigates the disenfranchisement often felt by marginalized members of the community and offers inspiration, through interviews with positive role models, and practical guidance toward developing self-esteem.
A second book, The NBI Workbook, based on the NBI Program will also soon be completed.
Notable Voices in the book are:
Harvey Milk’s colleagues, Anne Kronenberg and Danny Nicoletta;
actors Stephen Fry, Alan Cumming and Marcus Patrick;
musician Darren Hayes (Savage Garden);
Sordid Lives writer Del Shores;
Michael Musto (Village Voice);
filmmaker, Parvez Sharma;
Calpernia Addams;
NBA star John Amaechi;
Olympic Medalists, Ji Wallace, Mark Tewksbury and Bruce Hayes
designer Jack MacKenroth,
political activist, Peter Tatchell
authors Lesléa Newman, (57 books including A Letter to Harvey Milk), Linda Goldman (Coming Out, Coming In) and Tom Rob Smith (Child 44, The Secret Speech).
A FULL ALBUM OF CONTRIBUTORS CAN BE FOUND @ http://neverblendin.wordpress.com/
Global interest already exists and I am confident that there is a large and diverse market for the book.
AMBIENTE.US, NEVER BLEND IN ARTICLES: http://www.ambiente.us/05509JohnAmaechi.html
http://www.ambiente.us/08009ChrisMason.html AND http://www.ambiente.us/04510JackMackenroth.html
POLARI ON SPRINGS ARTICLE: http://www.polarimagazine.com/?p=794
PIRATE CAT RADIO (INTERVIEW WITH CONTRIBUTOR SIMONE CAMPBELL, MARCH 2010): http://www.piratecatradio.com/
MANCHESTER MOUTH (INTERVIEW APRIL 2010): http://www.manchestermouth.co.uk/index.php?action=content&content_id=27
10thousand Couples LLC (ARTICLE MAY 2010): http://10thousandcouples.com/issue/may-2010/article/never-blend-in
INTERVIEW WITH KIERAN PROUT, ’Reporting to you from outside of the closet’: http://www.mediafire.com/?lghmymnbgan
NEVER BLEND IN IS CITED, BY ANTOINE SPITERI PhD, AS BEING LITERATURE THAT GAVE BIRTH TO GAY EXILES: http://www.antoinespiteri.com/exile.htm
Each celebrity interviewed has their own following and the name of Harvey Milk is now internationally recognized and respected through the multi award winning movie, MILK.
David Watters, a graduate of Trinity College of Music, London and the Institute of Education, University of London, has worked internationally as a singer, director and teacher for more than 20 years and has taught drama and music within socially and culturally diverse settings.
He is a personal and professional development associate with The Pacific Institute (www.pacificinstitute.co.uk), personal tutor, freelance writer and founding member of NBI Associates and Tech Queens.
David, who regularly writes for www.ambiente.us, One Nation and Polari, has been championed by Stuart Milk, nephew of Harvey Milk and Equality Advocate, who has said: “I love your work, which is vital to show the richness of embracing and celebrating our wonderful diversity. As Harvey would say, you’re bringing medicine into the world that the world needs! Thank you!”
His background in arts and education, combined with a solid understanding of CBT, and his passion for Equality Advocacy drive every aspect of his work as a personal development facilitator and a writer.
SELECTED ARTICLES:
AMBIENTE.US, NEVER BLEND IN ARTICLES: http://www.ambiente.us/05509JohnAmaechi.html
http://www.ambiente.us/08009ChrisMason.html AND http://www.ambiente.us/04510JackMackenroth.html
More information on the book and the author’s NBI Program can be found here:
http://neverblendin.wordpress.com/
Email David at: never_blend_in@rocketmail.com
TELEPHONE: 07800813189
SYNOPSIS: OVERVIEW OF CHAPTERS
NEVER BLEND IN: THE LEGACY OF HARVEY MILK
About the author
About the book
Author’s acknowledgements
FOREWORD: Written by Stuart Milk
| CHAPTER ONE: GIVE THEM HOPE |
The importance of role models for LGBT youth, the LGBT community and the wider society
|
THE IMPORTANCE OF ROLE MODELS TRISHA GODDARD ME, SUICIDAL? (Abridged) by DAVID CHAYIM STEPHANIE SILBERSTEIN INTERVIEW CHARLES ROBBINS (THE TREVOR PROJECT) JENA LEWIS ANTOINE SPITERI BS, MSc, PhD (Psychology) DR JOHN R. SHAFER GLADEANA McMAHON
|
| CHAPTER TWO: HARVEY MILK (PART ONE) |
- BIRTH IS THE BEGINNING
| CHAPTER THREE: WHO AM I? |
The Authenticity Audit – “Truth” v Perception
|
ALAN CUMMING JACK MACKENROTH JOHN AMAECHI JUSTIN REED EARLY SARA DAVIS BUECHNER SIMONE CAMPBELL STEPHEN FRY
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| CHAPTER FOUR: WHY AM I? |
Self-Esteem and the Environment
Labels
4.1 INTERVIEWS WITH PARENTS, FAMILY & EDUCATORS
| LINDA GOLDMAN (Coming Out, Coming In)
RAYMOND & IRENE MILLER GEOFF PINE HELEN CLEWS
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4.2 INTERVIEWS WITH FAITH CONTRIBUTORS
Reconciling faith with sexuality and gender identity
| REV. DAVID WEEKLEY
RABBI DENISE EGAR REV. JO HUDSON PARVEZ SHARMA TONY SWEET LEVI KREIS
|
CHRIS BUTLER (GCN) RICK BROWN (GCN) HANNAH GEORGE PAUL MISTY GRANDISON R.J. BROWN (SGI-UK Nichiren Daishonin Buddhist) |
4.3 INTERVIEWS WITH MEDIA CONTRIBUTORS
|
ADELE ANDERSON ARIEL APARICIO BEN PATRICK JOHNSON CALPERNIA ADDAMS CASPER ANDREAS COLTON FORD DARREN HAYES DEL SHORES ERIC HIMAN
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JILL BENNETT JOI CARDWELL SCOTCH ELLIS LORING MARCUS PATRICK MARK BARNES MICHAEL MUSTO REED MCGOWAN RICH OVERTON |
| CHAPTER FIVE: THE DEADLIEST OF SINS |
A Cross Burning in Willacoochee
ROY KIRKLAND & DOUG SEBASTIAN
| CHAPTER SIX: HARVEY MILK (PART TWO) |
- MY NAME IS HARVEY MILK#
| CHAPTER SEVEN: WHAT DO I WANT? |
Personal or Professional Goals
| ARMANDO DIAZ
CHRIS AITCHISON CHRISTOPHER HULL DANIEL EWAN IMOGEN MANN JOEL FRAZIER, M.D. JOSHUA FENNELL JULIE NORTON KEN O’NEILL |
KEVIN FREEL
KIERAN JAMES PROUT LIZ CLARK MISAE RICHWOODS NEIL PEARSON REX CAMERON SCOTT ELLIS TERI BARKER VALDELICIO SILVA |
| CHAPTER EIGHT: WHAT’S STOPPING ME? |
Our BELIEFS, THOUGHTS and CHOICES
Self-Talk, Self-Image and Goals
Labels and Limitations
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8.1 “GOOD SPORTS” INTERVIEWS ARDEN JOHNSON BRUCE HAYES JI WALLACE MARK TEWKSBURY
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8.2 INTERVIEWS WITH POLICE, SOLDIERS
DIANE DOYLE J.R. CRAWFORD MICHAEL P CARNEY JIMMY ANDRUSZKEWICZ MITCHELL GROBESON KELLY REED JEFF OLSON STUART THOMAS
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| CHAPTER NINE: HOW DO I GET IT? |
Reprogramming, visualising and taking affirmative action
- Mind Control
- Thinking Traps & Comfort Zones
- Affirmative Action
- Thinking Traps & Comfort Zones
| CHAPTER TEN: MORE GLITTER – LESS BITTER |
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ABEL CRUZ AL PILLAY ANDREW JAMES HASLAM ARIAN LEVANAEL BRENT MARR FABRIZIO PAGAN GEORGE TOWNE GUY GUIDO |
JAMES MICHAEL MCCRACKEN JESSE ARCHER KEVIN STEA MOXY HART SCOTT CAPURRO SY BOCCARI TOM BIANCHI TOM BROOKS |
| CHAPTER ELEVEN: HARVEY MILK (PART THREE) |
- HOPE WILL NEVER BE SILENT
The enduring legacy of Harvey Milk in the words of those he knew and those whose lives he influenced.
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STUART MILK DANNY NICOLETTA ANNE KRONENBERG TOM AMMIANO CLEVE JONES DUSTIN LANCE BLACK GUS VAN SANT SEAN PENN LESLEA NEWMAN
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| CHAPTER TWELVE: COME OUT, COME OUT…WHEREVER YOU ARE |
Some inspiring people who walk the path that was laid by Harvey Milk and his generation.
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ALEX RANDOLPH CHRIS MASON CLIVE HARVEY FOX EVAN WOLFSON HERB SOSA JEFF SHENG
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JOHN R. SELIG KYLE QUANDEL MARK MACKENZIE MELISSA SUE ROBINSON PETER TATCHELL SARAV CHITHAMBARAM
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| APPPENDIX ONE: BIOGRAPHIES OF CONTRIBUTORS
APPENDIX TWO: RESOURCES, SUPPORT & USEFUL LINKS APPENDIX THREE: GLOSSARY OF TERMS |
| APPENDIX FOUR: INTRODUCING THE NBI WORKBOOK
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| INTRODUCING THE NBI WORKBOOK |
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Did anyone ever tell you that you have unending potential?
Even if they did, did you believe them? |
Do you always miss out on that promotion at work? Is dating disastrous and do your romantic relationships derail? Does this sound familiar?!
So often, and this is not uncommon, people start with the premise that something is impossible to achieve, that things won’t go their way and that these negative outcomes are predetermined.
Well, of course they are predetermined! Not because these people are undeserving losers but because their inner dialogue is telling them that they will fail and this is outwardly reflected in their words and actions.
Wasn‘t it Henry Ford who famously said, “”Whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t, you’re right.”?
Many of us feel trapped in circumstances which make us unhappy or unfulfilled but resign ourselves to thinking that we are unworthy of more.
If the decisions that you are making – accepting an abusive relationship for example – are not bringing you happiness then you need to take a look at your self-concept. The belief that an abusive alliance is what you deserve, whether this be a bullying parent, partner, peer, spouse or a domineering work colleague, needs to be addressed.
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Our BELIEFS inform our THOUGHTS, which in turn inform our CHOICES |
Understanding the origin of your BELIEFS, challenging their accuracy and redefining those which are creating limiting THOUGHTS will empower and enable you to make CHOICES to say and do only those things which bring you closer to emotional, intellectual and spiritual fulfilment.
Since childhood, we have been conditioned to see the world and ourselves in terms of the attitudes and beliefs of those around us. The influence of parents and family in the early years has an immense and so often underestimated impact on the developing identity. We learn from their example and, as the first models of attitude and behaviour that we encounter, they have a moral obligation to offer a balanced view of the world and our place in it.
What this program does is to give you the tools to understand how self esteem determines the path you will take but that life need not be a self fulfilling prophecy when you improve your self-concept, drive out fear and embrace new challenges as opportunities to learn and grow, eliminate self imposed limitations and cease dependence on others to provide validity
INDEX
JACK MACKENROTH IS…
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Jack Mackenroth is a Fashion Designer, TV Producer and host who is probably still best remembered for Project Runway and as an inspirational and motivational advocate for HIV awareness. He is currently working on producing a TV show called the Queens of Drag: NYC, is writing a much anticipated memoir, is still designing commissioned pieces, travels the United States speaking about HIV and hosts a radio show, POZIAM, every Sunday night. (A full bio is on jackmackenroth.com)
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The following article is based on two separate interviews with Jack on Tuesday 11 August 2009 and Sunday 4 April 2010.
All copyright rules apply.
| NEVER BLEND IN: THE LEGACY OF HARVEY MILKThis book is crucially important because we need to continually shed light on the struggles and adversity facing the LGBT community. We can never become complacent in our fight for equal rights and we need to remember the trailblazers who ignited the spark for the flame of progress that burns today. As role models following in the legacy of others like Harvey Milk, we need to stand as proud confident people and continue to broaden the path of acceptance for those that follow us.
JACK MACKENROTH
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LOOKING BACK BUT MOVING FORWARDS
THE JOURNEY…SO FAR
Describe your journey to where you are now. What led you toward the sort of work you do now? What was it about your personal and/or professional journey that brought you to this type of work?
I think my success came from facing adversity. I was always teased and taunted in my youth for being effeminate so I took solace in one of my natural talents which was art. It helped me escape and feel pride in something that I was good at doing.
Jack describes himself now as “Supergay” but also as “Artistic, Athletic and Confident”. As a child he recalls being labelled as girly and shy and as a teen, effeminate, gay, sissy, alternative and artistic by all of his peers and classmates.
Now, although these were pretty accurate, “I didn’t appreciate the slanderous adjectives”, Jack confides, since, “they definitely affected my self confidence. I was SO self conscious of being effeminate and androgynous when I was young that it prevented me from doing a lot of things. I only really accepted myself and started loving the way I was in the last 10 years of so. I knew I was gay from kindergarten but I denied even thinking about the possibility until I was a senior in high school.
One aspect of my artistic endeavors was making my own clothes. I taught myself to sew when I was 13 and I didn’t really care about what my peers thought about what I made and how I wore it. In a sense I was taking control of their mockery by blatantly being proudly different. That just naturally evolved into going to UC Berkeley for Fine Arts and the Parsons School of Design for Fashion Design. All the pieces just seemed to fall into place.
I didn’t have a lot of role models back then. Remember it was about 1986 so there were not many gay role models in the media and certainly not very positive ones. I do remember hearing about Harvey Milk which was inspiring but also scary because there was so much hatred surrounding the public’s opinion of him.
Well I went to UC Berkeley for my undergraduate education and it’s one of the most liberal schools in the country so I found my ‘people’ there who let me be whoever I wanted to be and celebrated that.
How have your family responded to your sexuality, was coming out a difficult process, did you ever experience feelings of self-doubt, low self-esteem as a result of your sexuality?
Well I came out in 1987 so the perception of gay people was a much different. My family is very liberal and was very accepting. I don’t have a relationship with my father and my parents were divorced when I was 8. I really don’t know what he thinks about it. Coming out was difficult because back then there were not a lot of role models so I thought I was the only one. I didn’t really even remember knowing the word “gay”. However when I went to Berkeley, which is one of the most liberal universities in the US, I met a lot of other gay people very quickly and everything just clicked. I did have feelings of low self esteem initially before I came out because I was consistently teased in high school and I was in extreme denial about my sexual orientation. Once I came out it was like a giant weight was lifted. Finding out that I was HIV+ in 1990 was like I had to come out all over again. That came with a whole new set of self-esteem issues.
| ROLE MODELS If young people see LGBT adults living happy, successful lives then they have hope and that is extremely powerful. I get emails from teenagers all the time saying thank you for being open and that I inspire them in some way. Hopefully role models help pave the way for an easier coming out experience.
Visibility plays a huge part in normalizing LGBTQ orientation. Unfortunately, often the most visible queer archetypes are the most sensational and stereotypical.
We are definitely seeing more LGBT characters in the media. Especially with the advent of ‘reality’ television. I think it’s a great way for people to see LGBT individuals living regular lives.
It’s hugely important for popular sports figures, musicians, actors, politicians and local figures to come out at the height of their careers because it garners a ton of press and there are still large parts of the population that don’t believe that LGBT individuals are EVERYWHERE.
THE LEGACY OF HARVEY MILK Well he was really a trailblazer in the face of such adversity. There are so many role models now in all arenas of the LGBT community. I could make an endless list of people who are proudly out and making a difference in almost every arena of LGBT culture. Christine Quinn, Barney Frank, Rachel Maddow, Suze Orman, Ellen Degeneres, Candis Cayne, Billy Bean….it goes on and on…
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CLOSING COMMENTS
| AN AUTHENTIC LIFE
I am very close to living a full authentic life. Since Project Runway I’ve really been publicly scrutinized in the press and blogs so it forced me to be very cognisant of how I behave. It’s a lot of pressure but I think it made me a better person in a weird way. I’ve always been very open and honest. However I am always striving to be better. I think my public persona is always very funny and upbeat and optimistic. I have total crap days too which is totally normal and I let myself have them without beating myself up about it. I am not a religious person so I live strictly by the principle that I should treat other people the way I would want to be treated. I know what the ‘right’ thing is to do in most circumstances and I try to do it.
I hope I am an example of self-confidence, discipline, honesty, giving back to the community and a strong work ethic. I think lying to yourself or trying to squelch some sort of truth takes an incredible amount of energy. They say you are only as sick as your secrets. People do not have a choice regarding their sexual or gender orientation. Everyone, no matter what their circumstances, just wants to be accepted for exactly who they are without judgment. Treat them as equals. Get involved in advocacy or support groups like PFLAG.
I try to treat others as I would want to be treated. I believe in Karma in my own way. I think if you put good things out into the universe then good things will come back to you. Progress is being made. It’s a slow, continuous battle. People naturally fear things that are unfamiliar to them. We need to keep inundating society with positive role models of minority groups and eventually our similarities will outweigh the perceived differences.
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| GOALS & THE MEANING OF LIFE…What gives your life meaning?
Art, Beauty, my family, being an advocate for HIV+ people and the LGBT community. What are your goals both personally and professionally? I have so many. Sort of like to be doing a bunch of things at once. I’m working on producing a TV show called the Queens of Drag: NYC, I’m writing a memoir, I still design commissioned pieces, I travel all around the country speaking about HIV and I have my radio show, POZIAM every Sunday night. I look at every new opportunity as an adventure. I don’t have any specific ultimate goal professionally. However personally I would like to get married and get a dog. But I probably have to find a boyfriend first.
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JACK MACKENROTH LINKS
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INSPIRING QUOTES FROM NEVER BLEND IN (PART TWO)
NEVER BLEND IN: The Legacy of Harvey Milk
| RICH OVERTON
Not only do I believe that you can have a positive impact on the lives of others in even one single meaningful moment, it is ALL ABOUT and STARTS WITH that one single moment. Maya Angelou said “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” In every single meaningful moment, even if and sometimes especially just between two people, always be mindful on how you make someone else feel. This can change the world. |
JESSE ARCHER
I think everyone should tell their own truth, in their own way. It’s great for self awareness and self-examination with the added bonus that your story may show someone else they are not alone. I write to express my views and to document my life. I feel sometimes like if I don’t write it down, it didn’t happen. My hope is that I’m able to give a voice to those who aren’t able to use or articulate theirs. My purpose is to highlight and legitimize those who exist far out of the mainstream. |
| JACK MACKENROTH
I think my success came from facing adversity. I was always teased and taunted in my youth for being effeminate so I took solace in one of my natural talents which was art. It helped me escape and feel pride in something that I was good at doing. One aspect of my artistic endeavours was making my own clothes. I taught myself to sew when I was 13 and I didn’t really care about what my peers thought about what I made and how I wore it. In a sense I was taking control of their mockery by blatantly being proudly different. |
GUY GUIDO
My attitude toward myself has evolved and changed over the years by trial and error, success and failure, and mostly by coming out of the closet and being true to who I am. Many people do not have a clear view of what they really believe in. Lots of people just regurgitate what they have been taught or told by their peers or parents. It is only when you question the things you have been told and research, learn and study different ideas, that you can come to your own conclusions and live your life the way you see fit. |
| DEL SHORES
My hero, “Mark” in my play “Southern Baptist Sissies” has a mantra and the play ends with — “Sometimes I close my eyes and create a perfect world. A world of acceptance and understanding and love. A world where there’s hope. Even if the hope is just whispered I hear it.” I hear the hope. And yes, our visibility, our fight is a good fight, a worthy fight — and I have hope that we are getting there. |
COLTON FORD
Living openly and powerfully is a very strong message to everyone; Gay, straight, bi, transgender, black, white, rich, poor, etc. The only thing that I can represent is myself. I would never want someone to use my life as a template for his or her life. Everyone has their own unique life journey and should follow what’s in their heart. The thing that I hope to show is a sense of pride in who I am and what I’ve accomplished, to be as kind and generous as possible, and that loving myself enough to live for me has been the greatest gift I’ve given myself. |
| FOR MORE INFORMATION ON THESE CONTRIBUTORS |
| RICH OVERTON
http://www.rjoartists.com/http://www.myspace.com/rjoartistshttp://twitter.com/RJOArtists JESSE ARCHER http://www.jesseonthebrink.com/ JACK MACKENROTH http://www.jackmackenroth.com/
GUY GUIDO
DEL SHORES
COLTON FORD |
NEVER BLEND IN
A PRO-EQUALITY BLOG, written by Diversity Specialist, writer and motivational speaker David E Watters (NBI ASSOCIATES).
Articles on Equality & Diversity, Personal & Professional Development, Education & Management; his book, NEVER BLEND IN (http://www.nbiassociates.co.uk/Never-Blend-In.html), and the Give 'em Hope Campaign http://www.nbiassociates.co.uk/Give--em-Hope-Campaign.html)
EMAIL: DavidWatters@nbiassociates.co.uk
SKYPE: never.blend.in
