SEEKING A PUBLISHER NOW! EXCLUSIVE CELEBRITY ROLE MODEL INTERVIEWS

NEVER BLEND IN How to live unlimited by labels DAVID E. WATTERS FOREWORD: STUART MILK NEVER BLEND IN is an accessible book about achieving personal authenticity, a groundbreaking and vital book of exclusive celebrity and deeply personal non-celebrity interviews, which is aimed primarily at a young lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or questioning audience. The book, however, is also of value to educators, parents, family and mental health professionals seeking insight into the LGBTQ experience. Role models from education, entertainment, law enforcement, medical and emergency services, politics, religion and sports have participated in this accessible and much needed discourse to illuminate the reader’s journey of self-discovery and to illustrate that living a life unlimited by labels will lead to personal, professional and spiritual fulfilment. These candid stories and wise words are a powerful toolkit to encourage, inspire, uplift and give hope to those who need it most; those who may feel disenfranchised or who may lack self-belief. STALKING ALAN CUMMING Inspired by the life of Harvey Milk and with a foreword by his nephew Stuart Milk, this book includes original and insightful interviews with actors Alan Cumming OBE (Cabaret, Spy Kids, The Good Wife), Stephen Fry (Peter’s Friends, Wilde), Anthony Rapp (Rent), Colton Ford (The Lair), Marcus Patrick (My Wife & Kids, CSI: Miami, Passions and Dancing With The Stars), Scotch Ellis Loring (Frasier, Malcolm in the Middle, 24, Alias, Touched by An Angel) and Adele Anderson (Fascinating Aida); key equality advocates, educators and influencers of policy Sue Sanders (Schools Out), Charles Robbins (CEO, The Trevor Project), Stephen Williams MP, Jack MacKenroth (Project Runway, Queens of Drag: NYC), Rabbi Denise Eger, Lt. Dan Choi and veteran human rights campaigner, Peter Tatchell; filmmaker Parvez Sharma (A Jihad for Love); musicians Darren Hayes (Savage Garden) and Levi Kreis (Tony Award winner for “Best Featured Actor in a Musical” for his role as Jerry Lee Lewis in the Broadway musical Million Dollar Quartet) ; sporting greats, NBA star, John Amaechi (author of Man in the Middle) and Olympic swimmer Bruce Hayes; transgender trailblazers Calpernia Addams, the Rev David E. Weekley (author of In from the Wilderness) and Jamison Green (author of Becoming a Visible Man); Mental Health professionals, Gladeana McMahon, Antoine Spiteri and Dr. John Shafer; writers Tom Robb Smith (Child 44, The Secret Speech), Leslea Newman (A Letter to Harvey Milk), Linda Goldman (Coming Out, Coming In), Michael Musto (The Village Voice);  Del Shores (Sordid Lives) and Stephanie Silberstein (Shades of Gay); representatives from organizations including The Trevor Project, The Harvey Milk Foundation, PFLAG, FireFLAG, The Gay Police Association and Schools Out and colleagues of Harvey Milk; Anne Kronenberg, Daniel Nicoletta and Tom Ammiano. with Stuart Milk 2009 These stories of living authentically, with dignity and unlimited by labels will help readers to understand how self esteem determines the path they choose and that life need not be a self fulfilling prophecy when they improve self-concept, drive out fear and embrace new challenges as opportunities to learn and grow, eliminate self imposed limitations and cease dependence on others to provide validity. David E. Watters Stuart Milk, nephew of Harvey Milk and Equality Advocate, has said: “I love your work, which is vital to show the richness of embracing and celebrating our wonderful diversity. As Harvey would say, you’re bringing medicine into the world that the world needs! Thank you!” Since graduating from The Institute of Education, University of London, David has gone on to train with LEAP, as a mediator, and is a qualified facilitator for The Pacific Institute. He is a writer on social inequality issues, is a key player in the Equal Love Campaign UK and author of the forthcoming book, NEVER BLEND IN which features key voices from the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender community and which aims to inspire and encourage those who may lack self-esteem or who question their validity. David is currently promoting a youtube campaign “Give ‘em Hope” and is asking individuals, couples and groups to make and share videos telling about the benefits of living with personal authenticity. http://www.nbiassociates.co.uk/Invite-DAVID-To-Speak-.html He has shared a platform with Stuart Milk and Peter Tatchell and is a supporter of 17-24-30, The Trevor Project, Schools Out and The Harvey Milk Foundation. CONTACT INFORMATION EMAIL: DavidWatters@nbiassociates.co.uk David E. Watters was recently profiled on 10,000 Couples as Someone You Should Know ENDORSEMENTS COPYRIGHT NOTICE © TEXT & IMAGES I think that out of everyone in society LGBT people, especially LGBT youth, are subjected to most negative energy and the most negative portrayals of themselves and so it’s really important for us as a community to give back and to let people see that the sun can shine ALAN CUMMING http://www.alancumming.com/ Stuart Milk, nephew of Harvey Milk and Equality Advocate, has said: “I love your work, which is vital to show the richness of embracing and celebrating our wonderful diversity. As Harvey would say, you’re bringing medicine into the world that the world needs! Thank you!” I have worked with a myriad of Harvey Milk related researchers in recent years and I wish they were all as thorough and considerate as Mr. Watters. I trust him and his workmanship implicitly. He (Harvey Milk) had great confidence in me; I really felt that the basic message was “you can do it”. He was a cheerleader first and then he would deconstruct content second. I think there was always this attention to helping somebody really feel that they can make their way. If you look at his speeches that’s there; there’s really this broad stroke that’s about positivity and confidence so you’re on the right path in terms of carrying on his work that way. For me as a care professional, working in chem-dependency, to have any kind of guidebook that talks about self-esteem or how to keep people from committing suicide…I’m all for it. The few kids that have shown up that had suicide ideation, quite honestly, I didn’t have a template for what to tell them so I had to rely upon my intuition but I have no idea if I’m doing the right thing. I definitely feel that the therapeutic community, the psychological therapeutic community has a role to play in LGBT civil rights and I applaud you for doing this. I was reading some of your pages on your website and I thought, “This is the antidote to my suicidal friend. If he could just read this, it would help him rephrase what he is defaulting to now.” DAN NICOLETTA PETER TATCHELL http://www.petertatchell.net/ For young people coming to terms with their sexuality it’s really important that they have positive, high achieving role models as a way of boosting their self esteem and confidence. This kind of book shares the experience of a very diverse group of LGBT people. Individual and collective experience offers the inspiration and motivation for LGBT people to do something worthwhile with their lives and live their dream. There are two ways you can approach not fitting in.  If you get to see it as a blessing, feeling like an Outsider can eventually give you the freedom and license to create your own world, follow your own goals, and make your own reality.  I’ve always thought it must be a lot harder for those who effortlessly belong – how much stronger the temptation to just blend in and be a non-questioning sheep!  Yes, there is pain. Feelings of rejection, confusion, self-doubt.  But think of those negatives in a positive light:  you have the chance to acquire resilience, fortitude, understanding and the realization but you have one life to live, so you absolutely have the right to live it your way! It’s no shame to get help and inspiration from others, which is why David Watters ‘Never Blend In’, is so timely. TRISHA GODDARD …some people growing up LGBT will certainly want affirmation that they are not alone, but they will also (quite rightly IMHO) resist the idea that there is a “type” and that they fall into a categorisation. Such is the human paradox, yearning to assimilated and demanding to be treated as unique and apart. A part of the tribe and apart from the tribe. There are plenty of young LGBT people I know or have known who hate the idea of any sort of ghetto or connection with others. I’m Jewish and I’ll fight against anti-Semitism, but I’ll also raise issues about Israel’s violations of human rights and express my happy atheism and contempt for much of Judaism… It’s not a question of “hurrah, there’s a role model, now I know who I am and who my people are and where I belong in the world.” STEPHEN FRY http://www.stephenfry.com/ Role models are described as those individuals who we ‘aspire to’ and who provide strong and achievable targets that we can emulate in pursuit of our career or personal aims. This book breaks down the common stereotypes of gay people and unveils a more realistic perspective, chronicling the success of many gay role models that others aspire to. Be inspired by the successful members of the gay community; real men and women. Read about the challenges they faced along the way, what helped to keep them going, and what it takes to make a small business, a life, a success. This book illustrates the breadth and creativity of gays everywhere.  It is a pioneering work and the success stories of inspirational gay role models from a wide variety of backgrounds should be made available in every library, every school.  These are men and women you can aspire to but who have all shown just what it takes to become a role model – determination, courage and an unwavering desire to succeed. “Never Blend In” brings you some amazing candidates all of whom have succeeded in very different ways. They each have inspiring stories to tell about their achievements and future ambitions, yet I noticed they all had one thing in common they were passionate about what they did. So in reality gays are still struggling for acceptance and to reach the top of the ladder. However, I think for the gay who enters the celebrity arena or who decides to do his/her own thing - they no longer have to do it at the expense of their happiness- they can do things on their own terms. For many it will provide them with the work/ life balance that wasn’t available for them in the past.  It’s vital we have gays in big business and we need more gays to be there. I think companies need to realize they can’t operate without gays. But they do need to provide the very thing we all tend to take for granted – the basic right of being given the same opportunities and earning power as str8 men.  We are mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, lovers, and friends. We are like you. Anthony Spiteri, BS, MSc, PhD (Psychology) I am excited to order several copies of your book and share them with friends and family as gifts. I may try to use it with one of my classes that I teach at my college on the psychology of diversity. DR JOHN R. SHAFER,Director of the Counseling Center and Professor at Franklin College of Indiana, President, Shafer Consulting Services Gladeana McMahon, As one of the leading personal development and transformational coaches in the UK, Gladeana was instrumental in founding theAssociation for Coaching for which she now holds the positions of Life Fellow and Vice President. “David is a rare individual. Someone with a cause but also someone who is pragmatic. He understands his area but also the way the world thinks and is not judgemental but someone who looks for a ‘win/win’. This is rare but is the measure of the man. I would heartily recommend him for his intelligence, people ability and pragmatism. The Book that David Watters is proposing is long overdue as there is little written on the topic of LGBT issues. Positive role models are important to individuals whether they be LGBT individuals talking about their experiences or the family and friends of such individuals who can model acceptance and positive affirmation.  Therapists are likely to be interested in such a book in a bid to understand the specific needs of those who identify as LGBT considering the best ways to work with such individuals and/or their families.  Academics are likely to find the book useful in considering issues around diversity and, of course, the general public will also benefit as a book of this sort educates the reader. This book will also help LGBT individuals to understand their situation and consider how to develop a deep and meaningful sense of self-worth.  It will also help such individuals understand how best to help those around them to understand their situation as much as it will educate family and friends. The LGBT community has often been portrayed in a less than favorable light – NEVER BLEND IN rips that inaccurate veil off, and offers a face and portrait of today’s LGBT community, its leaders, history, accomplishments and potential. Herb Sosa, Editor|Publisher – Ambiente Magazine & President – Unity Coalition|Coalicion Unida http://www.ambiente.us/HerbSosa.html http://www.herbsosa.com/hjs.html “David Watters is a hard-working, tireless advocate for social justice and I recommend him highly in any capacity! Lesléa Newman http://www.lesleanewman.com/ We can never become complacent in our fight for equal rights and we need to remember the trailblazers who ignited the spark for the flame of progress that burns today. As role models following in the legacy of others like Harvey Milk, we need to stand as proud confident people and continue to broaden the path of acceptance for those that follow us. JACK MACKENROTH http://www.jackmackenroth.com/ This project authored and edited by David Watters will help certainly reach out and touch a generation of young people who will be the ones to carry on his legacy by helping transform our perceptions of the LGBT community and lay the foundation for a healthy and whole sense of self. Rabbi Denise L. Eger Congregation Kol Ami West Hollywood’s Reform Synagogue www.kol-ami.org David Watters is a highly motivated author and freelance writer. He is passionate in his work, inspiring others to become their best selves, and to value themselves and others. His considerable writing skills help create and promote inclusivity and equality for all people, and offers another positive role model for youth and others on the margins. Rev. David Weekley (Minister at United Methodist Church ) …we are in the fight for our very lives. NEVER BLEND IN says that we are committed to living out in the open, as we have a right to do. NEVER BLEND IN, means never settle for second best or the notion that we are “second class citizens” I will NEVER blend in. SIMONE CAMPBELL http://www.myspace.com/funnyladysimone I always feel inspired by someone everyday. I think we should learn something new each day from anywhere or anyone. I’m inspired right now, by you, answering your intelligent questions Mr. David Watters. It’s not often I get to answer some great meaningful questions. So Bravo!!! MARCUS PATRICK http://www.marcus-patrick.com/ There’s plenty of times in this world where we can feel isolated and alone and anytime we can find a source of community, a feeling of being a part of something bigger than ourselves; that can provide tremendous inspiration and solace, then that’s invaluable. ANTHONY RAPP http://www.myspace.com/anthonyrapp http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0710829/ “David is a person of unrivalled integrity, who has great passion for his art and for whom I have the greatest respect.” Matthew Kolakowski, Curriculum Leader, Greenwich Community College “David Watters is a tireless advocate of social justice and engaging writing. Working with David on a community service project in San Francisco, with him in England, was a breeze, fun and highly effective. I recommend his services, charm and, most importantly, passion for any advocacy needing to be done.” Melton Cartes, Chief Ad Guy, AnAdGuy.com “I had the opportunity to work with David as part of his team in the performing arts department. During that time David had a great leadership styles that enable his staff to develop at their own pace, while maintaining a high standard for his team. His advice and support for CPD has been extremely beneficial which has resulting in me writing development programs. Furthermore, David’s passion on the subject of equality and diversity was very inspirational. With this in mind, I recommend David as a leader who can write about our unique experience’s in and outside the working environment. Hope to work with him in the near future.” Michael Noble, Owner, IyPSchool “I can highly recommend David for his ethics, his talent, and his dedication to nurturing individuality and originality through his fine writing. David uses the gift of the written word to inspire leadership by preserving the memory of historical visionaries who dared to be different. His essays on Harvey Milk and his determination to “never blend” preserve an important man and time in history while encouraging all of us to realize that we all have the power to change history ourselves on a grass-roots level with community outreach and activism.” Joe Mannetti, Contract Clinician, Waterford Youth Services Bureau “DAVID WATTERS is not a relative, although I’d be proud to be in his family. David is a fine writer and passionate advocate, a man who boldly uses his intellect, wit and sense of fairness to every project he undertakes. If you are looking for the spark to ignite your plan, call DAVID WATTERS.” Willie Watters, attorney/author “…all that David does involves assisting people – any and all people – to live authentically, to no longer accept the judgments and limitations imposed on them by others, and to believe in themselves as valid individuals. To that end, he has recently undertaken two new endeavors: NBI Associates, an organization which empowers people to make personal and professional transformations, and the “Give ‘em Hope” video campaign on YouTube.” Extract from a profile of David Watters on 10,000 Couples  by Rev. Heidi Mann. FULL PROFILE:http://10thousandcouples.com/issue/april-2011/article/someone-you-should-know-david-e-watters

RECIPROCAL RECOMMENDATIONS AND FREE PUBLICITY

I’d like to invite you to write a brief recommendation of my work that I can include in my LinkedIn profile. You will need to be a member of Linkedin to do this.

MY PROFILE IS HERE: http://uk.linkedin.com/pub/david-equality-watters/23/371/95b

 

Alternatively an endorement for my website would be appreciated and this can be emailed to DavidWatters@nbiassociates.co.uk

I will gladly reciprocate and endorse the work that you do. Top quotes will also be featured on http://www.nbiassociates.co.uk with a link to your site.

Thanks in advance for helping me out. DAVID EQUALITY WATTERS

YOU CAN ENDORSE ME AS A WRITER, PUBLIC SPEAKER OR WORKSHOP PROVIDER – HOWEVER YOU KNOW ME BEST.

LINKS:

WRITING: http://www.ambiente.us/05509JohnAmaechi.html (JOHN AMAECHI)

http://www.ambiente.us/010011Trevor.html (THE TREVOR PROJECT)

PUBLIC SPEAKING: http://www.nbiassociates.co.uk/Motivational-Speaking.html

WORKSHOPS: http://www.nbiassociates.co.uk/default.html

 

David was recently profiled on 10,000 Couples as Someone You Should Know:

http://10thousandcouples.com/issue/april-2011/article/someone-you-should-know-david-e-watters

Since graduating from The Institute of Education, University of London, David has gone on to train with LEAP, as a mediator, and is a qualified facilitator for The Pacific Institute.  He is a writer on social inequality issues, is a key player in the Equal Love Campaign UK and author of the forthcoming book, NEVER BLEND IN which supports and is supported by the Trevor Project and theHarvey Milk Foundation, features key voices from the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender community including Stephen Fry, Colton Ford, Mike Ruiz, Calpernia Addams, Alan Cumming, Darren Hayes, Lt. Dan Choi, LGBT Olympic athletes, actors, politicians, military, firefighters, Harvey Milk colleagues (Anne Kronenberg, Tom Ammiano and Dan Nicoletta) and has a foreword by Stuart Milk.

This groundbreaking book aims to inspire and encourage those who may lack self-belief or who question their validity.

David is also currently promoting a youtube campaign, “Give ‘em Hope”, and is asking individuals, couples and groups to make and share videos telling about the benefits of living with personal authenticity.

He has shared a platform with Stuart Milk and Peter Tatchell and is a supporter of 17-24-30, The Trevor Project, Schools Out, The Harvey Milk Foundation and has great admiration for the WHOF initiative and all the brave members of this group who speak out against the prejudice and bigotry in our society.

ENDORSEMENTS

COPYRIGHT NOTICE © TEXT & IMAGES

I think that out of everyone in society LGBT people, especially LGBT youth, are subjected to most negative energy and the most negative portrayals of themselves and so it’s really important for us as a community to give back and to let people see that the sun can shine

ALAN CUMMING

http://www.alancumming.com/

Stuart Milk, nephew of Harvey Milk and Equality Advocate, has said: “I love your work, which is vital to show the richness of embracing and celebrating our wonderful diversity. As Harvey would say, you’re bringing medicine into the world that the world needs! Thank you!”

He (Harvey Milk) had great confidence in me; I really felt that the basic message was “you can do it”. He was a cheerleader first and then he would deconstruct content second. I think there was always this attention to helping somebody really feel that they can make their way.

If you look at his speeches that’s there; there’s really this broad stroke that’s about positivity and confidence so you’re on the right path in terms of carrying on his work that way.

DAN NICOLETTA

PETER TATCHELL

http://www.petertatchell.net/

For young people coming to terms with their sexuality it’s really important that they have positive, high achieving role models as a way of boosting their self esteem and confidence. This kind of book shares the experience of a very diverse group of LGBT people. Individual and collective experience offers the inspiration and motivation for LGBT people to do something worthwhile with their lives and live their dream.

There are two ways you can approach not fitting in.  If you get to see it as a blessing, feeling like an Outsider can eventually give you the freedom and license to create your own world, follow your own goals, and make your own reality.  I’ve always thought it must be a lot harder for those who effortlessly belong – how much stronger the temptation to just blend in and be a non-questioning sheep!  Yes, there is pain. Feelings of rejection, confusion, self-doubt.  But think of those negatives in a positive light:  you have the chance to acquire resilience, fortitude, understanding and the realization but you have one life to live, so you absolutely have the right to live it your way!

It’s no shame to get help and inspiration from others, which is why David Watters ‘Never Blend In’, is so timely.

TRISHA GODDARD

…some people growing up LGBT will certainly want affirmation that they are not alone, but they will also (quite rightly IMHO) resist the idea that there is a “type” and that they fall into a categorisation. Such is the human paradox, yearning to assimilated and demanding to be treated as unique and apart. A part of the tribe and apart from the tribe. There are plenty of young LGBT people I know or have known who hate the idea of any sort of ghetto or connection with others. I’m Jewish and I’ll fight against anti-Semitism, but I’ll also raise issues about Israel’s violations of human rights and express my happy atheism and contempt for much of Judaism… It’s not a question of “hurrah, there’s a role model, now I know who I am and who my people are and where I belong in the world.”

Links to MORE of my writing:

AMBIENTE.US, NEVER BLEND IN ARTICLES:

http://www.ambiente.us/05509JohnAmaechi.html

http://www.ambiente.us/08009ChrisMason.html

http://www.ambiente.us/04510JackMackenroth.html

http://www.ambiente.us/06010CrossBurning.html

http://www.ambiente.us/101510PeterTatchell.html

http://www.ambiente.us/110010EqualLove.html

http://www.ambiente.us/021511EqualLove.html

POLARI ARTICLES:

http://www.polarimagazine.com/?p=794

http://www.polarimagazine.com/?p=4818

http://www.polarimagazine.com/?p=5404

MANCHESTER MOUTH (INTERVIEW APRIL 2010):

http://www.manchestermouth.co.uk/index.php?action=content&content_id=27

aechi opens-up on gay issues

http://www.manchestermouth.co.uk/index.php?action=content&content_id=101

10thousand Couples LLC (ARTICLE MAY 2010):

http://10thousandcouples.com/issue/may-2010/article/never-blend-in

 

 

REMEDY JAM OUTBURST IS…

If music be the food of love,
Sing on till I am fill’d with joy;
For then my list’ning soul you move
To pleasures that can never cloy.
Your eyes, your mien, your tongue declare
That you are music ev’rywhere.

Pleasures invade both eye and ear,
So fierce the transports are, they wound,
And all my senses feasted are,
Tho’ yet the treat is only sound,
Sure I must perish by your charms,
Unless you save me in your arms.

If music is the “food of Love” then REMEDY JAM OUTBURST is a new website that is head over heels.

The site is dedicated to exploring how music impacts a life through pop culture, current events, politics, emotions and opinions.

The term “Remedy Jam” (coined by founder Rich Overton) is a song that hits one at the very right place at the very right time, showing a new perspective, outlook, path, or simply brightening a day.

Rich told me, “Remedy Jam Outburst is a music site I started to celebrate artists whose voices are helping to change the world.  There are interviews, blog entries, music news, and more.  Check it out!”

Check it out I did….and found it to be an exciting place to explore. Before long, I was linking to youtube, checking out videos by the artists on the site.

You know how it is? You start on one site, you hear or read something that stimulates an interest and the next thing you know you’re off  on a musical journey.

How music impacts YOUR life and what it means to YOU is, in itself, a Remedy Jam Outburst.

Recent “Remedy Jam Sessions” (exclusive interviews) include Grammy nominees Sam Sparro, Lisa Loeb and Queen of Electro-Soul Billie Ray Martin.

If you love to discover new music or to read interviews with people whose music you enjoy then what are you waiting for?

Become part of their movement.

Remedy Jam Outburst - http://www.remedyjamoutburst.com

Share your comments, ideas, opinions and keep checking back for giveaways, contests, updates and feature interviews. The more you comment, the more promotion that specific story gets!

Credits -

Rich Overton by Photographer Kim Elphinstone

Logo by Pirela Creative Solutions

Rich Overton is the CEO of RJO Artist Relations & Management which is a promotion, and development company that includes projects targeting the LGBT Community. Featured artists have included Billie Ray Martin, Ari Gold, Levi Kreis, Brian Kent, Kelly King, Rachael Sage, Girlyman, Billy Porter and more.

With over 10 years experience in the entertainment industry, Overton, a Boston Native, began his career as the first ever male host of WERS Women In Music where he built the shows popularity by interviewing artists such as Cyndi Lauper, Donna Delory, Billie Myers, Patty Larkin, SONiA and Ferron. This led to many opportunities working and gaining experience at Full House Promotions (Vance Gilbert, Greg Brown) in Boston, Nettwerk Management in Los Angeles (Dido, Sarah McLachlan), Virgin Records in Beverly Hills (Janet Jackson, Nikka Costa, Lenny Kravitz), MPress Records (Rachael Sage) and Two Sheps That Pass Marketing in NYC (Groovelily, Mannheim Steamroller). In 2002 Overton created RJO in New York City and highlights have included managing and developing Out Award Winning Recording Artist Ari Gold through 2 World Tours, 2 CD Releases and a Top 10 Billboard Dance Hit. Other highlights include producing 3 Brian Kent Music Videos and placements in such outlets as Billboard Magazine, People Magazine, Out Magazine, VH-1, LOGO, HBO, NPR, XM and Sirius Satellite Radio.

Overton is heavily involved in such organizations as The Reciprocity Foundation, Marriage Equality, Ali Forney Center, LIGALY and more. He recently received the QBliss 2008 Empowerment Award for creating change within the LGBT Community.

BESIDES ALL THIS, RICH IS A MEMBER OF MY NEVER BLEND IN FAMILY.

BELOW IS AN EXCLUSIVE EXTRACT FROM HIS INTERVIEW WHICH WITH BE FEATURED IN THE FORTHCOMING BOOK, NEVER BLEND IN:

The media definitely has a role to play in the promotion of role models for minority groups because of its default obvious influence over our culture and world. Sometimes it is the only outlet for some LGBT youth and young adults who have not yet come out or who are surrounded by a narrow-minded environment. Because of this, I think it is important for the media to take responsibility for depicting the full spectrum and positive sides of people in all minority cultures. When this happens, it can change lives for the better. Unfortunately this is not always the case as sometimes only the negative stereotypes or negative angles/tones are shown in media. Because of this, I do think it’s important to acknowledge that some of the best role models may not be on television or in the media at all. They can be a friend, a loved one, family member or even stranger that one shares a single moment with.

The greater diversity of the LGBT community does not just extend to television, but also in film and music: Candis Cayne, Wanda Sykes, Sam Sparro, Nathan Lane, Clay Aiken, John Amaechi, Chuck Panozzo, Ellen… the list goes on and on. Within our community there is so much diversity and I am very happy to see a greater presence in the media. I can only hope for more as we progress and become even more educated as a nation. There are so many more out there living their truth in the public eye, including so many artists I have worked with directly at RJO. This not only has a tremendous effect on those who identify as LGBT, but also on the world at large. It shows that the world as a whole is being represented more authentically. People need to see this and continue to see more of this. This breeds acceptance.

The talent of my artists and the obstacles that they face inspire me all the time. They put themselves out there in such a vulnerable way being singer-songwriters with SOMETHING TO SAY. Working with artists who have SOMETHING TO SAY is what inspires and moves me the most to be a better person and make an impact. With all the struggles, ups & downs from every side of this music industry, it is worth it when I hear the music and see the live performance. I am so grateful for the artists I have met and worked directly with as part of this journey.

READ MORE ABOUT NEVER BLEND IN AND NBI ASSOCIATES @

http://www.nbiassociates.co.uk

Become part of the REMEDY JAM movement:

Remedy Jam Outburst - http://www.remedyjamoutburst.com

 

DAVID E WATTERS HAS JUST LAUNCHED A VIDEO CAMPAIGN TO COINCIDE WITH HIS BOOK, NEVER BLEND IN. PLEASE JOIN HIM IN THIS INITIATIVE AND BRING HOPE TO THOSE WHO HAVE NONE

PRESS RELEASE – THE “Give ‘em Hope” VIDEO INITIATIVE

In these times of increased bullying and the rise in suicide ideation amongst those who identify as LGBT, author of the inspirational NEVER BLEND IN and Director of NBI Associates, David E. Watters, is launching a video campaign to inspire, encourage and uplift those who may feel disenfranchised or who may lack self-belief.

He is seeking individuals, couples and groups to share their stories in a bid to provide support and encouragement to anyone doubting their validity.

These stories of living authentically, with dignity and unlimited by labels will become a powerful toolkit to help others understand how self esteem determines the path they choose and that life need not be a self fulfilling prophecy when they improve self-concept, drive out fear and embrace new challenges as opportunities to learn and grow, eliminate self imposed limitations and cease dependence on others to provide validity.

IF YOU LIVE UNLIMITED BY LABELS THEN TELL US HOW IT’S DONE.

Whether you are L.G. B or T…or ANY other letter of the alphabet, make and send your video to:DavidWatters@nbiassociates.co.uk

HELP TO VALIDATE THE DISENFRANCHISED BY SHARING YOUR STORY AND HAVE IT SHOWN ON THE NBI ASSOCIATES YOUTUBE PAGE (NBIassociates), NBI WORDPRESS (http://neverblendin.wordpress.com/) AND THE NBI ASSOCIATES WEBSITE (www.nbiassociates.co.uk)

MAKE A VIDEO AND MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

EMAIL IT TO DavidWatters@nbiassociates.co.uk

You can be as creative as you like and the only criteria is that you encourage, as you already do, others to feel confident in living the life that they were born to live.

CHAPTER THREE: WHO AM I?

CHAPTER THREE: WHO AM I?

 

The Authenticity Audit – “Truth” v Perception

INTERVIEWS NOT INCLUDED HERE (YOU’LL HAVE TO BUY THE BOOK!!!!)

      ALAN CUMMING

      JACK MACKENROTH

      JOHN AMAECHI

      JUSTIN REED EARLY

      SARA DAVIS BUECHNER

      SIMONE CAMPBELL

      STEPHEN FRY

THE AUTHENTICITY AUDIT“Truth” v Perception

 

Why do people accept the opinions of others about themselves as truth? Who is going to live the rest of your life anyway? Now that is TRUTH! Doug Firebaugh

 

Life can be a frustrating and challenging experience where, no matter how hard you try, whatever you desire eludes you.

Dreams of economic abundance, career satisfaction or romantic fulfillment can so easily appear unattainable when time and again your attempts are thwarted.  

Whatever your frustrations or perceived failings, you should know that your life CAN be transformed and that this can be done QUICKLY and EASILY by learning that your life’s limitations are self imposed and are not controlled by external influences.

Of course we don’t choose to limit ourselves but most of us tend to make decisions based on our feelings of self worth. We have all spent years developing our self concept, subconsciously forming judgments upon our capabilities and imposing restrictions on ourselves as to what we do and do not deserve to achieve.

We even justify and rationalize these beliefs, finding evidence to confirm them, and allow ourselves to obstruct our personal or professional progress, even if our current situation is unsatisfactory and the alternative much more favorable.

In short, it is our attitudes and beliefs which inform our thoughts and it is our thoughts which determine our behavior.

It is absolutely vital to know where your beliefs have originated and to recognize where, when and in which ways these beliefs have been reinforced. Beliefs should always be disputed and should never be taken as literal truths.

The labels which we are given by others be it family, friends, colleagues, peers, the media and wider society and those which we give ourselves determine the outcomes in our lives.

 

I may well have been a clumsy child and even now I often have clownish catastrophes but this does not define me. Awkward adolescents needn’t grow into apprehensive adults but many do because they have not questioned the validity of the definition and with each ungraceful act, fresh evidence is collected to verify that the label is correct.

I remember returning, after many years away, to the city in which I had grown up.  It had been almost 15 years and the city had physically changed a great deal but sadly the attitudes of many living there remained unaltered.

I had been living in London, Brighton, briefly in San Francisco and even more briefly in Spain but, through a series of events, unfortunate or otherwise, I had found myself back in Bonnie Scotland, at my parent’s home on the bank of the River Tay.

As you can imagine, I’d been through the usual life-altering experiences (relationships, jobs, travel and at least one immensely overwhelming tragedy) of which you’ll no doubt hear more of later and for some reason decided to visit a bar that I had gone to in my underage youth.

There I was welcomed by “Fat Bob” whose opening line was, “You’ve really put on the beef!” By which “Fat Bob” meant that I was perhaps a little more beefy, blimpy, bovine, bulging, bulky, burly or even chunky, dumpy, elephantine, gargantuan, gross, heavy, hefty, husky, lardy or meaty than he recalled. I did remind him that the last time we had met was prior to my seventeenth birthday and cream cakes and cheesy bakes can be cruel; I’d transformed from skinny vegan to slightly less slim line vegetarian.

A few days later, or perhaps that same day, I ran into someone else from my youth. Back then we had mutual friends, one in particular, so I sat with him and his gaggle of giggling girlfriends.

We spoke of our mutual friend and it soon became apparent that we had very different views on a number of issues. The subject changed, however, and, against my better judgment, I accepted a drink.

Trapped, and perhaps he felt the same, we talked about how our lives had been in the years since we had last met. As we chatted I could sense his unease and as I shared stories of the selected highlights from my strange life he reacted with judgment, jealousy and, with a raised eyebrow above a jaundiced eye, he disparagingly declared,  “You’ve changed”, to which all I could retort was, “…and you haven’t”.  

Please don’t think that I was intentionally cruel but, if I’m being honest, I did feel justified and even empowered by this mild statement of self recognition.

I would go so far as to say that this was a moment of epiphany from which I’ve never looked back. In this brief but meaningful interaction I realized that I HAD changed; I was no longer meek and mild or afraid to express an opinion but more confident, worldly, and yes, opinionated but at the core I was still that same 17 year old who knew right from wrong, who could instinctively detect insincerity and the really remarkable aspect of this revelation was that I actually liked myself!

The point of this story is to illustrate that the opinions of others are just that, opinions, and the labels that were attached to me, as a teenager, may or may not have been correct at the time. In believing these labels to be a true definition of myself, I acted in ways which encouraged others to similarly define me but somehow, with time and experience, I redefined myself.

My reaction to these past acquaintances sent a clear, perhaps blunt, message that I was not who they perceived me to be. I may have changed, whether this meant physically having more flesh than bone or growing a backbone but what would be the point in living if the journey didn’t involve change?

The great news is that, although we can’t undo the past, we can, however, create the future that we desire through living a life that is truly authentic. The first step towards true happiness and achieving your full potential is to acknowledge both WHO you are and WHAT it is that you want to accomplish.

Dr. Wayne W. Dyer encourages us to look inward NOT outward each day. This may sound simple, but when was the last time that you truly took time to look at yourself and to evaluate if your goals and behaviors were in line with your authentic self?

READY FOR PUBLICATION NOW

STALKING ALAN CUMMING

In what would have been Harvey Milk’s 80^th year, a book celebrating his life and legacy is born.

Never Blend In: The Legacy of Harvey Milk by British writer David Watters, and with a foreword by Harvey’s nephew, Stuart Milk, is a timely and unique collection of inspirational interviews with well known and everyday people who represent the great diversity within the LGBT Community. 

The research, supported by PFLAG, The Trevor Project, FFLAG (UK), The Gay Police Association (GPA) and Schools OUT (UK), investigates the disenfranchisement often felt by marginalized members of the community and offers inspiration, through interviews with positive role models, and practical guidance toward developing self-esteem.

A second book, The NBI Workbook, based on the NBI Program will also soon be completed.

Notable Voices in the book are:

      Harvey Milk’s colleagues, Anne Kronenberg and Danny Nicoletta;

      actors Stephen Fry, Alan Cumming and Marcus Patrick;

      musician Darren Hayes (Savage Garden);

      Sordid Lives writer Del Shores;

      Michael Musto (Village Voice);

      filmmaker, Parvez Sharma;

      Calpernia Addams;

      NBA star John Amaechi;

      Olympic Medalists, Ji Wallace, Mark Tewksbury and Bruce Hayes

      designer Jack MacKenroth,

      political activist, Peter Tatchell

      authors Lesléa Newman, (57 books including A Letter to Harvey Milk), Linda Goldman (Coming Out, Coming In) and Tom Rob Smith (Child 44, The Secret Speech).

 

A FULL ALBUM OF CONTRIBUTORS CAN BE FOUND @ http://neverblendin.wordpress.com/  

Global interest already exists and I am confident that there is a large and diverse market for the book.

      AMBIENTE.US, NEVER BLEND IN ARTICLES: http://www.ambiente.us/05509JohnAmaechi.html
http://www.ambiente.us/08009ChrisMason.html AND http://www.ambiente.us/04510JackMackenroth.html

      POLARI ON SPRINGS ARTICLE: http://www.polarimagazine.com/?p=794

      PIRATE CAT RADIO (INTERVIEW  WITH CONTRIBUTOR SIMONE CAMPBELL, MARCH 2010): http://www.piratecatradio.com/ 

      MANCHESTER MOUTH (INTERVIEW APRIL 2010): http://www.manchestermouth.co.uk/index.php?action=content&content_id=27

      10thousand Couples LLC (ARTICLE MAY 2010):  http://10thousandcouples.com/issue/may-2010/article/never-blend-in

      INTERVIEW WITH KIERAN PROUT,  ’Reporting to you from outside of the closet’:  http://www.mediafire.com/?lghmymnbgan 

      NEVER BLEND IN IS CITED, BY ANTOINE SPITERI PhD, AS BEING LITERATURE THAT GAVE BIRTH TO GAY EXILES: http://www.antoinespiteri.com/exile.htm

Each celebrity interviewed has their own following and the name of Harvey Milk is now internationally recognized and respected through the multi award winning movie, MILK.

 

David Watters, a graduate of Trinity College of Music, London and the Institute of Education, University of London, has worked internationally as a singer, director and teacher for more than 20 years and has taught drama and music within socially and culturally diverse settings.

 

He is a personal and professional development associate with The Pacific Institute (www.pacificinstitute.co.uk), personal tutor, freelance writer and founding member of NBI Associates and Tech Queens.

David, who regularly writes for www.ambiente.us, One Nation and Polari, has been championed by Stuart Milk, nephew of Harvey Milk and Equality Advocate, who has said: “I love your work, which is vital to show the richness of embracing and celebrating our wonderful diversity. As Harvey would say, you’re bringing medicine into the world that the world needs! Thank you!”

His background in arts and education, combined with a solid understanding of CBT, and his passion for Equality Advocacy drive every aspect of his work as a personal development facilitator and a writer.

SELECTED ARTICLES:

      AMBIENTE.US, NEVER BLEND IN ARTICLES: http://www.ambiente.us/05509JohnAmaechi.html
http://www.ambiente.us/08009ChrisMason.html AND http://www.ambiente.us/04510JackMackenroth.html

More information on the book and the author’s NBI Program can be found here:

http://neverblendin.wordpress.com/

Email David at: never_blend_in@rocketmail.com 

TELEPHONE: 07800813189

SYNOPSIS: OVERVIEW OF CHAPTERS

NEVER BLEND IN: THE LEGACY OF HARVEY MILK

About the author

About the book

Author’s acknowledgements

FOREWORD: Written by Stuart Milk

CHAPTER ONE: GIVE THEM HOPE

The importance of role models for LGBT youth, the LGBT community and the wider society

THE IMPORTANCE OF ROLE MODELS       TRISHA GODDARD       ME, SUICIDAL? (Abridged) by DAVID CHAYIM       STEPHANIE SILBERSTEIN INTERVIEW       CHARLES ROBBINS (THE TREVOR PROJECT)       JENA LEWIS       ANTOINE SPITERI BS, MSc, PhD (Psychology)       DR JOHN R. SHAFER       GLADEANA McMAHON

 

CHAPTER TWO: HARVEY MILK (PART ONE)

 

• BIRTH IS THE BEGINNING

 

CHAPTER THREE: WHO AM I?

The Authenticity Audit – “Truth” v Perception

ALAN CUMMING       JACK MACKENROTH       JOHN AMAECHI       JUSTIN REED EARLY       SARA DAVIS BUECHNER       SIMONE CAMPBELL       STEPHEN FRY

CHAPTER FOUR: WHY AM I?

Self-Esteem and the Environment

Labels

4.1 INTERVIEWS WITH PARENTS, FAMILY & EDUCATORS

LINDA GOLDMAN (Coming Out, Coming In)       RAYMOND & IRENE MILLER       GEOFF PINE       HELEN CLEWS

4.2 INTERVIEWS WITH FAITH CONTRIBUTORS

Reconciling faith with sexuality and gender identity

REV. DAVID WEEKLEY       RABBI DENISE EGAR       REV. JO HUDSON       PARVEZ SHARMA       TONY SWEET       LEVI KREIS

CHRIS BUTLER (GCN)       RICK BROWN (GCN)       HANNAH GEORGE       PAUL       MISTY GRANDISON       R.J. BROWN (SGI-UK Nichiren Daishonin Buddhist)

4.3 INTERVIEWS WITH MEDIA CONTRIBUTORS

ADELE ANDERSON       ARIEL APARICIO       BEN PATRICK JOHNSON       CALPERNIA ADDAMS       CASPER ANDREAS       COLTON FORD       DARREN HAYES       DEL SHORES       ERIC HIMAN

JILL BENNETT       JOI CARDWELL       SCOTCH ELLIS LORING       MARCUS PATRICK       MARK BARNES       MICHAEL MUSTO       REED MCGOWAN       RICH OVERTON

 

CHAPTER FIVE: THE DEADLIEST OF SINS

 

A Cross Burning in Willacoochee

      ROY KIRKLAND & DOUG SEBASTIAN

CHAPTER SIX: HARVEY MILK (PART TWO)

• MY NAME IS HARVEY MILK#

 

 

CHAPTER SEVEN: WHAT DO I WANT?

 

Personal or Professional Goals

ARMANDO DIAZ       CHRIS AITCHISON       CHRISTOPHER HULL       DANIEL EWAN       IMOGEN MANN       JOEL FRAZIER, M.D.       JOSHUA FENNELL        JULIE NORTON       KEN O’NEILL

KEVIN FREEL       KIERAN JAMES PROUT       LIZ CLARK       MISAE RICHWOODS       NEIL PEARSON       REX CAMERON       SCOTT ELLIS       TERI BARKER       VALDELICIO SILVA

 

CHAPTER EIGHT: WHAT’S STOPPING ME?

 

Our BELIEFS, THOUGHTS and CHOICES

Self-Talk, Self-Image and Goals

Labels and Limitations

8.1 “GOOD SPORTS” INTERVIEWS       ARDEN JOHNSON       BRUCE HAYES       JI WALLACE       MARK TEWKSBURY

8.2 INTERVIEWS WITH POLICE, SOLDIERS       DIANE DOYLE       J.R. CRAWFORD       MICHAEL P CARNEY       JIMMY ANDRUSZKEWICZ       MITCHELL GROBESON       KELLY REED       JEFF OLSON       STUART THOMAS

 

CHAPTER NINE: HOW DO I GET IT?

 

Reprogramming, visualising and taking affirmative action 

• Mind Control
  • Thinking Traps & Comfort Zones
    • Affirmative Action

 

CHAPTER TEN: MORE GLITTER – LESS BITTER

 

ABEL CRUZ       AL PILLAY       ANDREW JAMES HASLAM       ARIAN LEVANAEL       BRENT MARR       FABRIZIO PAGAN       GEORGE TOWNE       GUY GUIDO

JAMES MICHAEL MCCRACKEN       JESSE ARCHER       KEVIN STEA       MOXY HART       SCOTT CAPURRO       SY BOCCARI       TOM BIANCHI       TOM BROOKS

 

CHAPTER ELEVEN: HARVEY MILK (PART THREE)

 

• HOPE WILL NEVER BE SILENT

The enduring legacy of Harvey Milk in the words of those he knew and those whose lives he influenced.

STUART MILK       DANNY NICOLETTA       ANNE KRONENBERG       TOM AMMIANO       CLEVE JONES       DUSTIN LANCE BLACK       GUS VAN SANT       SEAN PENN       LESLEA NEWMAN

 

CHAPTER TWELVE: COME OUT, COME OUT…WHEREVER YOU ARE

 

Some inspiring people who walk the path that was laid by Harvey Milk and his generation.

ALEX RANDOLPH       CHRIS MASON       CLIVE HARVEY FOX       EVAN WOLFSON       HERB SOSA       JEFF SHENG

JOHN R. SELIG       KYLE QUANDEL       MARK MACKENZIE       MELISSA SUE ROBINSON       PETER TATCHELL       SARAV CHITHAMBARAM

 

APPPENDIX ONE: BIOGRAPHIES OF CONTRIBUTORS APPENDIX TWO: RESOURCES, SUPPORT & USEFUL LINKS APPENDIX THREE: GLOSSARY OF TERMS

APPENDIX FOUR: INTRODUCING THE NBI WORKBOOK

INTRODUCING THE NBI WORKBOOK

Did anyone ever tell you that you have unending potential?   Even if they did, did you believe them?

Do you always miss out on that promotion at work? Is dating disastrous and do your romantic relationships derail? Does this sound familiar?!

So often, and this is not uncommon, people start with the premise that something is impossible to achieve, that things won’t go their way and that these negative outcomes are predetermined.

Well, of course they are predetermined! Not because these people are undeserving losers but because their inner dialogue is telling them that they will fail and this is outwardly reflected in their words and actions.

Wasn‘t it Henry Ford who famously said, “”Whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t, you’re right.”?

Many of us feel trapped in circumstances which make us unhappy or unfulfilled but resign ourselves to thinking that we are unworthy of more.

If the decisions that you are making – accepting an abusive relationship for example – are not bringing you happiness then you need to take a look at your self-concept. The belief that an abusive alliance is what you deserve, whether this be a bullying parent, partner, peer, spouse or a domineering work colleague, needs to be addressed.

Our BELIEFS inform our THOUGHTS, which in turn inform our CHOICES

 

Understanding the origin of your BELIEFS, challenging their accuracy and redefining those which are creating limiting THOUGHTS will empower and enable you to make CHOICES to say and do only those things which bring you closer to emotional, intellectual and spiritual fulfilment.  

Since childhood, we have been conditioned to see the world and ourselves in terms of the attitudes and beliefs of those around us. The influence of parents and family in the early years has an immense and so often underestimated impact on the developing identity. We learn from their example and, as the first models of attitude and behaviour that we encounter, they have a moral obligation to offer a balanced view of the world and our place in it.

What this program does is to give you the tools to understand how self esteem determines the path you will take but that life need not be a self fulfilling prophecy when you improve your self-concept, drive out fear and embrace new challenges as opportunities to learn and grow, eliminate self imposed limitations and cease dependence on others to provide validity

INDEX

JOHN AMAECHI INTERVIEW

  

RECOGNISING HIS SOUL IN THE DARK

JOHN AMAECHI INTERVIEW 

Monday, 27 April 2009 

COPYRIGHT NOTICE © TEXT & IMAGES

  

 

 Personally and Professionally what challenges have you faced, particularly during your time with the NBA, what compromises did you have to make in your personal life at that time? 

  

JOHN: Playing in the NBA, like many jobs in America, is not basically compatible with being a Gay person.”  John then adds that it is still possible to be fired in the US for having a non-normative sexual orientation and that there are “a great majority of LGBT people who simply do not disclose their sexuality or don’t really have a social life outside of work. 

Would it have been impossible for you to have “come out” during your time with the NBA? 

  

JOHN: I think so. I wasn’t a superstar by any means and I don’t think that I would have been protected, certainly according to the law, I wouldn’t have had any legal protection or standing. So, to me, it was too big a risk to take. 

In 2007, why was it important then to disclose your sexuality? Was this because you had retired at that point from the NBA? 

  

JOHN: It was a political thing as much as anything else, to decide to have a conversation that hadn’t really been had in America regarding these workplace issues. The fairness, the equity of having people who must choose between their vocation and their social life. 

What was the response initially? 

  

JOHN: An outpouring of very positive messages from people in general. Within the sport, a number of people said very nice things about me to the newspapers; players and coaches, but there was also a very vehement, outspoken minority who made it very clear that they didn’t approve. 

I was aware of Tim Hardaway’s homophobic comments at the time and wondered if John even  wanted to discuss this anymore. I asked, were Hardaway’s comments reflective of a general feeling within the sports world? 

  

JOHN: No, no I don’t think his comments were reflective of a general feeling within the sports world. He said things that a minority, a very vocal minority, of people wanted to say. If anything, he was a spokesman of that tiny minority.  That wasn’t the majority of the messages that I received. 

  

I’ve heard you speak about the impact that those sort of comments can have on Lesbian and Gay youths… 

  

JOHN: Yes, indeed and it’s not just about LGBT people. That message has emboldened other bigots and also people who are perceived as being different in lots of  different  ways find themselves marginalized and under attack as well. As we’ve seen tragically recently with two 11 year old boys in America who killed themselves. There is no particular evidence that either of these two were gay but simply the perception that they were effeminate or whatever else led to their persecution. 

Did you receive good feedback from readers of your book, Man in the Middle? 

  

JOHN: Absolutely. A lot of people read it in a rounded way which is what I would have wanted. 

  

The feedback from readers has been positive. It has had an impact on their lives. Did you get any emails or letters from people that you feel you might have helped by writing your book? 

  

JOHN: It’s been people from all walks of life; people from the military, a lot of people from sport…a lot of people who are setting out to do extraordinary and very difficult things, the book resonates with them. 

Was it a cathartic thing to document your experiences? 

  

JOHN: It wasn’t particularly cathartic. It was a hard slog in the midst of trying to do my work. To go through the process of recalling and trying to order my thoughts of 16, 17 years ago. I think it was a valuable experience to do it and I think that the product is one that I can be proud of. 

Do you think it is important for sports figures, musicians, politicians to come out at the height of their careers. Perhaps to set an example of how successful you can be in this world and does this benefit the LGBT community? 

  

JOHN: I think having more role models is better. I think the idea that if everybody in these top positions came out all at once would be a tremendous thing. There’s an element of truth to that in an “Am I Blue?” type of way. The problem is, when it’s just ten people there’s the tall poppy syndrome where I think we’d end up with a lot of martyrs. It shouldn’t take people losing their lives or even losing their jobs and, to me, the idea that a sportsperson would make, you know a football player in Britain or a basketball player in America would make people change their minds about homophobia seems absurd to me. When we’ve had young people killing themselves on a daily basis. The evidence of that is in newspapers and on the web every day and yet that seems not to pluck at the heartstrings of society. If the death of an innocent doesn’t do it then why would a gay football player?  

  

I wondered if showing a greater diversity of gay people might help to show that there’s a balance there and not necessarily the stereotypes that are shown in the media. 

  

JOHN: Again, that doesn’t change the fact that if that person then comes out and loses their endorsements, team-mates react badly…what message does that send? 

Your “coming out” did facilitate an enormous amount of public discussion on the subject of sexuality and sport. Is that what you’d anticipated at the time? 

  

JOHN: Yes,  it was important but also in a way whether it be because of my background or because of my career in psychology I felt very equipped to handle whatever came. And not all people will feel so equipped. Not all football players or barristers or whatever profession we’re talking about will feel as able to explain themselves, to stand up for their position. I managed to maintain the conversation above the beltline and keep it somewhat cerebral. 

I think that’s what has helped the discussion move forward… 

  

JOHN: What happens if it is your favourite football player who perhaps is not as good at making that same point? 

That’s right. It has to be done eloquently and with a level head; more cerebral, seeing different perspectives and trying to understand where other people are coming from in their perceptions, which is what you have done in previous interviews. 

  

JOHN: Not always successfully. There have definitely been points where I’ve been pushed past irritation and not handled myself as well as I would have liked. It’s a far more difficult task than most people imagine. 

 

Did you become a broadcaster and writer in order to speak out about the homophobia which prevails in society? Was this the main motivation and are there other reasons why you have gone into this area of work? 

  

JOHN: The work I do with APS, my company, is far more broad and the work in the media is far more broad. I’m also black, I have a Nigerian father, mixed race,  6’ 9”…there are so many other factors; identity is more nuance than the media will allow us necessarily to say. The idea that my one sole purpose would be to tell people that homophobia is the most important of issues, above racism, above misogyny…I treat all the heads of this monster as equally reprehensible. 

Has society moved forward with regards to racism and sexism? 

  

JOHN: No, bigots have become more sophisticated. You can no longer put a little tag on the corner of a CV that suggests that, “this person is from Jamaica”, but that doesn’t change the fact that there are huge discrepancies in hiring and in pay for black people versus white. It doesn’t explain the fact, especially with this new legislation for medium to large size businesses, people will be shocked when they see the discrepancy in pay between women and men. 

It all has to be addressed. People love to make a hierarchy and decide which bits are most important to address. If there’s an organisation out there that does work for equality, if they decide that one area is more important to tackle they are implicitly saying that another is less important. 

You can’t say the “N” word. We’ve seen it in schools. You can’t say the “N” word in school without a teacher then having you pulled up, suspended and possibly excluded.  But “Gay” is du jour; photocopiers are gay, textbooks are gay, homework is gay. The implicit message that they get, young people who get away with saying that amongst other things, is that that’s okay. 

MIND YOUR LANGUAGE

We discuss where this use of the word came from. 

  

JOHN: It’s clear where that came from. A word doesn’t get associated with everything bad, awful, wrong, terrible, anything derogatory you can think of without the people that the word represents being seen in that light too. Let’s not pretend it’s some kind of organic natural evolution of this word on it’s own. It is the likes of Chris Moyles, it is the likes of these people in the media as well popularising that terminology. It is also the fault of all of us that every time that word is used in the incorrect way we don’t say, “Hey, that’s not the correct word to use”. If you mean you hate this homework because it’s difficult, because you think it’s unfair, because you think you haven’t got the material right, then say that. 

So, it’s laziness in the use of language… 

  

JOHN: It’s not just laziness. It’s also the fact that if you are a white person who stands up for black people, people look at you as bold and you’ve got a sense of credibility about yourself, if you are a man who stands up for a woman, you’re seen as progressive and bold and probably eminently more dateable most likely! But, if you are a straight person who stands up for a gay person, none of those things apply. You’re just, all of a sudden, suspected of being gay. 

Who were your role models as you were growing up and did you have any mentors perhaps? 

  

JOHN: My mother, would be my most basic answer to that. 

  

Why was that, what was it about your mother’s character that has made her a role model to you? 

  

JOHN: I saw the way that people responded to her. She was a well-loved General Practitioner in Stockport and I used to go on visits with her and watch how she interacted with her patients, spent time and took a great deal of care not just in their medical history but in a pastoral care sense. Also the fact that she coped against enormous pressure and difficulties, a life that was very challenging and yet she always seemed to manage to come out on top. 

That certainly comes across when I’ve seen you being interviewed. There’s that character trait which comes across, there’s an empathy, an understanding of the wider world and the individuals within it. Is that what you mean about your mother and the care that she would give to patients, that additional care that not all GP’s necessarily put into place? 

  

JOHN: Yeah. For me it was very clear that she felt that it was a huge part of her job to make sure that people felt safe, more able to cope and more in control. 

Which other role models would you have beyond family? 

  

JOHN: Oh yes, there’s a basketball coach, a man called Joe Forber who runs my centre in Manchester. Then I’ve been very lucky in a sense that I’ve chosen well the coaches that I’ve had over time, certainly in the amateur settings while I was in university and High School in America as well. With both the additional coaches I had in University and High School in America, along with Joe, I’ve had a very good example of diligence and hard work and consistent effort…and also a well-rounded picture; I never had a coach at that point in the amateur ranks who didn’t totally endorse my idea that being great at basketball and not being great at anything else would be a real waste. I didn’t have any coach who scoffed at the idea of academic excellence going hand in hand with sporting prowess. 

You’ve spoken in other interviews about how basketball was something that you did that had value and has value but you’d always known that you wanted to study psychology. 

  

JOHN: Precisely. I think one of the huge mistakes and certainly the downfalls, the pitfalls in sport is when people’s occupation becomes their definition. I think it’s just a recipe for disaster. 

We have to be fully rounded people and, not to have a back up plan but, to have more to you that you have options in life, different choices in life that you can make. Certainly in sports, the career won’t last forever. 

  

JOHN: Yes, for sure, and even if it did last for a good long time, there’s still an element of what you do after that. If it lasts for a good long time, that could still only be for 10 years, or 15 years. 

Can you remember a specific time in your life when an adult said or did something which changed you for the better, something which changed your perceptions of yourself or what you aspired to do with you life?  

  

JOHN: Yes. Several. Certainly when I first said to my mother about going to America and playing basketball she asked me if I would recognise my soul in the dark. 

  

What did she mean by this? 

  

JOHN: That most people never know anything beyond the trappings of themselves. They don’t know who they are at their core. They know themselves by their labels, by their relationships with other people, by their job titles and descriptions, by the clothes they wear, their physical appearance is how they define themselves. Soul in the dark is a question of would you recognise yourself stripped of that? 

 

Why is it important, do you think, for young people to have role models? 

  

JOHN: One of the things about a person who is trying to achieve a goal that is difficult is that they need visibility…where standard goal setting doesn’t work if the distance from your goal is really huge. If someone has come from a very impoverished background and is trying to do something extraordinary, the more difficult a journey one is going on the more visible an image of what you what to achieve you need. Inspiration and also to see that it’s possible. That’s why role models are valuable. Like in America, Barak Obama is such an important figure because he shows people that what was previously thought impossible is doable. 

There certainly is a move forward in American society that an African-American can be elected. 

  

JOHN: Oh, definitely a step in the right direction. We have to be careful about getting too self-congratulatory about it. There are still an element of people who are straining themselves to pat themselves on the back. “We elected him despite the fact that he is black” is not necessarily any more healthy than not electing him. 

No, and making an issue of that…I know that this was a landmark in the history of America…it’s making an issue of that part of who he is and not, like you say, seeing his soul in the dark. What is he really made up of, what is the core of that man? 

  

JOHN: I think he is remarkable because he is an intellect, he understands nuance and you could almost say for the last 25 years there’s not been someone in the White House who understands and embraces nuance, who understands that not giving them a 10 word sound bite answer is not a crime. I would suggest that he is not just a role model for black kids in America, he is a role model for any number of people; the kid who is being picked on because he is interested in science and politics in school or whatever else. 

Are we beginning to see a greater diversity of characters in the media, not just with regards to LGBT characters but with ethnic minorities and so on…are we getting away from stereotypes? 

  

JOHN: It is growing. I think the reality is that you still see, in most cases, people defined by their interest. So, most of the black people within the BBC are either in sports or they are on One Extra, Five Live or the Urban channels. Look at television and the representation of LGBT people, there aren’t that many examples. 

What would you say to a family who are finding it hard to come to terms with a child who has recently come out?   

  

JOHN: There are two sides to this. The young person’s side is that, I would say – remember patience with your family, even if their knee-jerk reaction is one which really disappoints, remember patience because just as coming out has a gestation period (for some people it’s a couple of days and then BOOM they’re ready, for other people years), parents and families have a process to go through too, we should give them a bit of leeway to work through things by giving them as much information as they need, by being very patient and helping them come to conclusions. 

That’s right. The person who is coming-out has had time to think and reflect upon their sexuality, whereas for the family this is a brand new piece of information. What advice would you offer to a young person who is struggling to come to terms with their sexual orientation? 

  

JOHN: What they need to do is reach out and find a resource, a support person or network that can offer them a soundboard. Not necessarily to tell them anything specific; someone or some network where you can talk out your thoughts and ideas and your fears and your worries and have someone compassionate and understanding be on the other end of that. It’s very important for people to find a connection, to share their burden. This is applicable in many different circumstances, certainly with coming out. 

Do you think that society is moving forward?  I know that we’ve spoken about the use of the “gay” word but do you think that society is moving forward, particularly the younger generation in how they see people who may be different to themselves?    

JOHN: I think society is moving forwards and young people are definitely a different commodity when it comes to looking at differences, regardless of what they are. The main problem with that, however, is that young people have relatively a lot less power in society and that power is still concentrated in a lot of people who haven’t really changed over the last 30 years, or even 20 years. When you are thinking about societal change, a lot of times people tell you to be patient because what they are suggesting is what we should do is wait for these bigots to die…and I don’t think that’s a terribly proactive option. 

The reason that Obama used the word “Change” in his campaign is that it is so much more evocative and meaningful than “Progress”. What we are talking about here is progress. There’s been a lot of progress over the last 10 or 20 years but when that progress becomes tangible to the majority, then we can start looking at it as something monumental and noteworthy. Progress is just progress whilst children hang themselves because they get bullied at school and teachers don’t intervene, or don’t intervene enough. If the job of the teacher is to educate, then it is also to make sure that the atmosphere in the school is conducive to education and, clearly, if you feel victimized, if you feel unsafe, if you don’t feel emotionally protected then it doesn’t matter how brilliant your teachers are, you will not learn. 

The NBI PROGRAM, based on the CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) Techniques and Exercises found in NEVER BLEND IN: THE LEGACY OF HARVEY MILK, will be personally tailored for each client so that specific needs are met.  OPTIMIZE your POTENTIAL   and LIVE THE LIFE THAT YOU DESIRE

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ABOUT THE BOOK

Never Blend In: The Legacy of Harvey Milk

by David Watters

Never Blend In: The Legacy of Harvey Milk is a unique collection of inspirational interviews with well known and everyday people who represent the great diversity within the LGBT Community. 

The research, supported by PFLAG and The Trevor Project, FFLAG (UK), The Gay Police Association (GPA) and Schools OUT (UK), tackles the issue of teenage suicide and the disenfranchisement often felt by LGBT youth.

Role models from education, entertainment, law enforcement, medical and emergency services, politics, religion and sports have participated in this accessible and much needed discourse to illuminate the reader’s journey of self-discovery and self- efficacy.

Some of those included in the book are Alan Cumming, John Amaechi, Calpernia Addams, Stephen Fry, Darren Hayes, Parvez Sharma, Harvey Milk colleagues Anne Kronenberg & Danny Nicoletta and a foreword by his nephew Stuart Milk.

Openly LGBT and successful role model figures can play an enormous part in highlighting the wealth of possibilities available to young people. These people, who are successfully modelling admirable qualities and character traits such as determination, diligence, vision and consistent effort, can only serve to inspire and encourage the younger generation, or anyone questioning their validity, to lead a balanced, fulfilling and dignified life.

Each chapter is prefaced with sound advice and guidance on how self-worth determines potential.

Life need not be a self-fulfilling prophecy and by recognising that our “truth” has been shaped through our relationships, our environment and our experiences, we can begin to change our perceptions, heighten our self-esteem and move toward our personal and professional goals with clear vision and purpose.

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000924072854#!/group.php?gid=106980051654&ref=mf

For young people coming to terms with their sexuality it’s really important that they have positive, high achieving role models as a way of boosting their self esteem and confidence. This kind of book shares the experience of a very diverse group of LGBT people. Individual and collective experience offers the inspiration and motivation for LGBT people to do something worthwhile with their lives and live their dream.

 Peter Tatchell

http://www.petertatchell.net/

 

There are two ways you can approach not fitting in.  If you get to see it as a blessing,  feeling like an Outsider can eventually give you the freedom and license to create your own world, follow your own goals, make your own reality.  I’ve always thought it must be a lot harder for those who effortlessly belong – how much stronger the temptation to just blend in and be a non-questioning sheep!  Yes, there is pain. Feelings of rejection, confusion, self-doubt.  But think of those negatives in a positive light:  you have the chance to acquire resilience, fortitude, understanding and the realisation but you have one life to live, so you absolutely have the right to live it your way!

It’s no shame to get help and inspiration from others, which is why David Watters ‘Never Blend In’ is so timely.

 

Trisha Goddard 

 http://www.trishatv.com/ 

 

  “I love your work which is vital to show the richness of embracing and celebrating our wonderful diversity. As Harvey would say, you’re bringing medicine into the world that the world needs! Thank You!”

 

STUART MILK

 

Role models are described as those individuals who we ‘aspire to’ and who provide strong and achievable targets that we can emulate in pursuit of our career or personal aims. This book breaks down the common stereotypes of gay people and unveils a more realistic perspective, chronicling the success of many gay role models that others aspire to.

In “Never Blend In” David Watters has brought together a number of role models in one publication featuring successful gay artists, scientists and entrepreneurs, who share their experiences and take you on their journey.  These are men and women with whom you can relate, whose stories will inspire and motivate you and leave you ready to move forward, both personally and professionally.

Be inspired by the successful members of the gay community; real men and women. Read about the challenges they faced along the way, what helped to keep them going, and what it takes to make a small business, a life, a success.

This book illustrates the breadth and creativity of gays everywhere.  It is a pioneering work and the success stories of inspirational gay role models from a wide variety of backgrounds should be made available in every library, every school.  These are men and women you can aspire to but who have all shown just what it takes to become a role model – determination, courage and an unwavering desire to succeed.

“Never Blend In” brings you some amazing candidates all of whom have succeeded in very different ways. They each have inspiring stories to tell about their achievements and future ambitions, yet I noticed they all had one thing in common they were passionate about what they did.

So in reality gays are still struggling for acceptance and to reach the top of the ladder. However, I think for the gay who enters the celebrity arena or who decides to do his/her own thing -  they no longer have to do it at the expense of their happiness- they can do things on their own terms. For many it will provide them with the work/ life balance that wasn’t available for them in the past.  It’s vital we have gays in big business and we need more gays to be there. I think companies need to realise they can’t operate without gays.  But they do need to provide the very thing we all tend to take for granted – the basic right of being given the same opportunities and earning power as str8 men.  We are mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, lovers, friends. We are like you. 

 

ANTOINE SPITERI

 

Anthony Spiteri, BS, MSc, PhD (Psychology) 

 

The book NEVER BLEND IN is a provocative look into the lives of successful people who live in a world where the odds are stacked against us.  It is important to give hope to the younger generation with diverse sexual orientations to see that we can be happy, healthy, and successful players in this game we call life.  I hope by telling my story in this book, I can, in some small way, make life easier for those who march to the beat of a different drum.  I am a rebel with a cause…you can either march with me, or step out of my way.
                                                     

I am excited to order several copies of your book and share them with friends and family as gifts. I may try to use it with one of my classes that I teach at my college on the psychology of diversity. 

 

DR JOHN R. SHAFER, Director of the Counseling Center and Professor at Franklin College of Indiana, President, Shafer Consulting Services

 

 “Never Blend In,” is so absolutely crucial to our very survival.  For when we first discovered our difference, we believed we were alone.  This is why statistically, gay teen suicide attempts are four times that of heterosexual youth, and for every completed suicide by a gay youth, there are between 100-200 attempts that are made by other gay teens.  Astoundingly, one-third of ALL teenagers who commit suicide do so because they are gay.  In America, we have had as many as 11 teenagers a day commit suicide due to their sexual orientation!  “Never Blend In” provides a guiding light for all LGBT people (in fact, for all non-LGBT people as well) because it demonstrates that not only are you not alone, but that you too can rise to attain your most desired dreams.  There is nothing and no one that can hold you back.  Harvey Milk paved the way for us all to be able to be ourselves and to simultaneously provide a role model for others.  Whether you are the parent, uncle, or cousin of a gay child, or friend of a gay adult, the stories presented here give a unique insight into the relationships we cherish.  You do not need to be gay to be inspired by the lives of these amazing heroes, whose stories are told, often for the first and only time, in “Never Blend In.”  

MITCHELL GROBESON

http://www.sgtmitch.com/

 

 

This book is crucially important because we need to continually shed light on the struggles and adversity facing the LGBT community. We can never become complacent in our fight for equal rights and we need to remember the trailblazers who ignited the spark for the flame of progress that burns today. As role models following in the legacy of others like Harvey Milk, we need to stand as proud confident people and continue to broaden the path of acceptance for those that follow us.

JACK MACKENROTH

http://www.jackmackenroth.com/