|
NEVER BLEND IN
How to live unlimited by labels
DAVID E. WATTERS
FOREWORD: STUART MILK
 NEVER BLEND IN is an accessible book about achieving personal authenticity, a groundbreaking and vital book of exclusive celebrity and deeply personal non-celebrity interviews, which is aimed primarily at a young lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or questioning audience. The book, however, is also of value to educators, parents, family and mental health professionals seeking insight into the LGBTQ experience.
Role models from education, entertainment, law enforcement, medical and emergency services, politics, religion and sports have participated in this accessible and much needed discourse to illuminate the reader’s journey of self-discovery and to illustrate that living a life unlimited by labels will lead to personal, professional and spiritual fulfilment.
 These candid stories and wise words are a powerful toolkit to encourage, inspire, uplift and give hope to those who need it most; those who may feel disenfranchised or who may lack self-belief.
 STALKING ALAN CUMMING Inspired by the life of Harvey Milk and with a foreword by his nephew Stuart Milk, this book includes original and insightful interviews with actors Alan Cumming OBE (Cabaret, Spy Kids, The Good Wife), Stephen Fry (Peter’s Friends, Wilde), Anthony Rapp (Rent), Colton Ford (The Lair), Marcus Patrick (My Wife & Kids, CSI: Miami, Passions and Dancing With The Stars), Scotch Ellis Loring (Frasier, Malcolm in the Middle, 24, Alias, Touched by An Angel) and Adele Anderson (Fascinating Aida); key equality advocates, educators and influencers of policy Sue Sanders (Schools Out), Charles Robbins (CEO, The Trevor Project), Stephen Williams MP, Jack MacKenroth (Project Runway, Queens of Drag: NYC), Rabbi Denise Eger, Lt. Dan Choi and veteran human rights campaigner, Peter Tatchell; filmmaker Parvez Sharma (A Jihad for Love); musicians Darren Hayes (Savage Garden) and Levi Kreis (Tony Award winner for “Best Featured Actor in a Musical” for his role as Jerry Lee Lewis in the Broadway musical Million Dollar Quartet) ; sporting greats, NBA star, John Amaechi (author of Man in the Middle) and Olympic swimmer Bruce Hayes; transgender trailblazers Calpernia Addams, the Rev David E. Weekley (author of In from the Wilderness) and Jamison Green (author of Becoming a Visible Man); Mental Health professionals, Gladeana McMahon, Antoine Spiteri and Dr. John Shafer; writers Tom Robb Smith (Child 44, The Secret Speech), Leslea Newman (A Letter to Harvey Milk), Linda Goldman (Coming Out, Coming In), Michael Musto (The Village Voice); Del Shores (Sordid Lives) and Stephanie Silberstein (Shades of Gay); representatives from organizations including The Trevor Project, The Harvey Milk Foundation, PFLAG, FireFLAG, The Gay Police Association and Schools Out and colleagues of Harvey Milk; Anne Kronenberg, Daniel Nicoletta and Tom Ammiano.
 with Stuart Milk 2009 These stories of living authentically, with dignity and unlimited by labels will help readers to understand how self esteem determines the path they choose and that life need not be a self fulfilling prophecy when they improve self-concept, drive out fear and embrace new challenges as opportunities to learn and grow, eliminate self imposed limitations and cease dependence on others to provide validity.
David E. Watters
 |
Tag Archives: PFLAG
RAYMOND MILLER IS…
Raymond Miller is a Canadian performer who studied at the American Academy of Dramatic Arts. He has starred as Pepper, in “Mamma Mia!”, has performed in an epic production of Wagner’s “Ring Cycle” and is currently a resident of New York.
I want to be a mix of Mario Cantone and Tracy Ullman! 
hehehe. Professionally, I’d like to work steadily. I’d like to write, I’d like to continue acting, and I will always always always be an LGBT Advocate. It’s my number one passion. Sharing my thoughts on life, told with humour, and an LGBT-slant. That’s my dream.
I know firsthand the power of art to change and save lives. I’ve been saved by film, by theatre, by literature, by music. That’s why I’m on this Earth; I’m here to make people feel something, and learn something about themselves.
Besides his performing work and in an effort to attain full equality under the law for the LGBT Community and “a world culture where we don’t have to “Come Out”, because we haven’t been born into a societal lie, in the closet, forced to play a game without being told the rules that we’d never agree to in the first place.”, Raymond works with Queer Rising (http://www.queerrising.org/QR/Hi_there%21.html), based in NYC, and is a volunteer with PFLAG (http://community.pflag.org/Page.aspx?pid=191) .
LGBT people have always existed in every type of family and family dynamic, in every religion, ethnic group, culture, community, city, town province, state, territory country and continent all over the world. We have always existed, and we shall outlive every fight and war against our existence.
If I can inspire anyone to not give up on themselves, and to love and embrace who they are, then I’ll die happy.
Meet Mr. Miller
My name is Raymond Miller, I’m 28 years old, and I was born and raised in Toronto, Canada. I’ve been a working actor since I was a teenager, and recently followed my dreams to New York City. I’m the baby of the family, have an (incredible) older sister, and two parents who are my heroes.
Personally, I don’t hate myself anymore, and I never thought that day would come. I really didn’t. I was pretty sure I was always going to be a disappointment to myself.
I was labeled the “neighbourhood faggot” by age 9, by my ‘peers’. I was called every gay slur under the sun, from misogynistic insults calling me a “girl”, to the epithets “fag”, “homo”, and “fruit” that I didn’t even understand at the time. By my teens, it all but stopped because I started pretending to be someone else, had transferred to a school district at the other end of the city, and reinvented myself as a new, yet still not authentic, young man.
I hated myself. I hated who I was, I was ashamed of who I was. I was ashamed because I believed that I was letting my parents down; that all the other boys in the neighbourhood were friends, and played sports together, and I was the weird outsider who wasn’t invited to people’s homes to ‘play’ – I felt like I’d let them down by being a sissy and an embarrassment.
I knew I was different, I knew from a young age that I was ‘interested’ in other males, but as this was pre-puberty, it wasn’t sexualized. For a while I figured I’d grow out of it, or ‘puberty’ would kick in and I’d suddenly be interested in girls. By age 10 I realized that what I was, was gay. And that’s why everyone at school made fun of me.
I used to pray at night to not be gay. Then I used to pray that I would die; either in my sleep, or by some accident. Just die, and leave this life, and perhaps in my next one (if I’d get one…) I’d be straight and things wouldn’t be so scary. I cried a lot. I didn’t want to live.
I didn’t resolve it as a child. I hid from it. I punished myself for it. I wouldn’t even let myself fantasize about guys when I was alone, in the throes of adolescent hormones. I de-sexualized myself, escaped into film, and dance, and art, and music, and that’s where I channelled my dreams, my rage, my sadness, my fear.
The Times of Harvey Milk
When I was 15 I saw the doc ”The Times of Harvey Milk”, and I started to think, for the first time, that maybe I wouldn’t have to “fake it” forever, and that maybe there would be a way for me to somehow Come Out, and live a real honest life with real honest emotions and experiences. I was incredibly depressed, and just plain exhausted from having to lie and act every single day. I was so tired, there were far too many days where I just wanted to die. And the doc gave me a sense of perspective: if those people could Come Out in times far more unforgiving than the one I’m around in, surely I can do it, too.
They opened the door for me – I have an obligation, now, to open it for the next generation.
How Long Has This Been Going On?
Harvey’s story inspired me to Come Out when I was in high school, and when I was 18 I was introduced to the writing of Ethan Mordden; his perceptive and humorous, emotionally honest writing inspired me to never give up, no matter how bad things might get. His novel “How Long Has This Been Going On?” is, essentially, the gay “Roots.” It follows various gay characters across America from the 1940s to the 1990s. It changed my life, it SAVED my life.
RYAN KELLY
As well, my best friend Ryan Kelly. I don’t know where I’d be if it wasn’t for him. We met when we both starred in the original Toronto company of “Mamma Mia!”, and shared a dressing room together.
He’s 8 years older than me, and he was, and remains, my best friend and constant source of support, understanding, love and strength. A gay man who took a (crazy) barely-Out gay teen under his wing and helped me find myself. I would die for him.
When you’ve spent most of your life trying to be someone you’re not, and can never be, it’s hard to then suddenly “be yourself.” I’ve been Out since high school, and it has indeed been a process of self-discovery. I wear my heart on my sleeve, I’m an open book. Sometimes that comes back to kick me in the ass, but it’s the only way I know how to be anymore. I simply got so sick and tired of always lying and telling stories. If my truths hurt me, at least they’re truths.
I’m a gay man. I identify as Queer. Proudly Out, Proudly Gay, Proudly Queer.
Meet the Millers
My parents are incredible; two intelligent, compassionate, well-read, liberal free-thinkers.
I hid a lot from them when I was growing up, mainly because I was so embarrassed by how I was perceived by my peers, and I didn’t want them to know too much. I put on a brave face, and pretended everything was fine.
There was tension in my teens years; I was simply stressed out. I was mentally tired, emotionally exhausted. Every day life was a constant effort. Work. Performance. Pretend.
We’ve been incredibly close since I Came Out; living honestly is SO much easier!
I came out to them when I was in high school, I’d just met a guy, and we hit it off, and I thought “ok, I’m ready to do this”. We were at dinner, I told them I’d met a guy and he was really great, and I liked him a lot, and I was seeing him, and my Mum and Dad just smiled. My sister cried. My Mum then asked “how old is he?”, to which I replied “40″. then “just kidding, he’s 20.” And that was that.
My sister later explained why she’d cried; she was overwhelmed by the moment, and in that moment realized just how much Hell I’d been through in my life so far. She’s been an incredible support and fellow advocate.
My parents have both devoted their retirement years to LGBT Activism. I’m in awe. I must have been Gandhi in my past life to have been deemed worthy of them. They’re in their 60s, and they’re LGBT Advocates, and activists; they’re outspoken, they’re compassionate, they’re tireless.
While other parents I know are taking swanky golf vacations, my Mum and Dad are answering calls for PFLAG’s support line, organizing and attending Equality fundraisers and outreach programs, and even corporate events and seminars on Diversity. They’re sort of local icons in the Toronto gay scene; everyone knows “The Millers”.
PFLAG
Families often have a grieving process where they need to let go of the child they ‘thought’ they had so they can realize that, really, not that much has changed! It is a big deal to find out you have an LGBT family member, but they’ve always been LGBT. You just didn’t know! Families who don’t deal too well initially are greatly helped by being around other people who’ve been they are, or still *are* dealing with the new reality. It’s HOPE. Hope that their confusion will turn into acceptance, and then celebration and pride. I have seen, firsthand, families go from being unwilling to acknowledge their LGBT family member, who then are ready and EAGER to march down the street in a Pride Parade, declaring their love for that same person. PFLAG puts families back together.
When you march with PFLAG, the LOVE that you feel from the crowd is incredible. There are a lot of people who cry as they see us march; perhaps because they wish their families could be that proud of them, or perhaps because they see the work they’ve helped begin coming full circle. You make eye-contact with people, and you just connect with them: they’re marching with you. We march for them. Again, it gives Hope. It shows that families cannot simply “tolerate” having an LGBT child, or family member….but they can want to celebrate it. Shout their love from them on streets in front of 2 million people. It’s beyond liberating. It’s borderline religious.
I’m a terribly flawed person, but I guess we all are. I have received a lot of feedback from my blog (http://littlekiwilovesbauhaus.blogspot.com), and my youtube page (http://www.youtube.com/user/MOKandRIFF), and even facebook, about how my videos and writing have helped other people see a path for themselves in life. Many people have said that the videos with my mother are what inspired them to Come Out. That means more to me than anything.
I wanted to be able to share anything and everything with people who don’t have an LGBT-outlet. At first it was just silly videos of me and my friends on youtube, having a laugh, generally being idiots and occasionally having the odd sociopolitical discussions. We’d get responses from people all over the world, who were watching us, and that was great! Not because we were getting watched, but because these were people who didn’t have ‘gay best friends’ to hang out with. It’s so rare to see young(ish) LGBT characters on television that aren’t totally neutered and made “acceptable for a straight audience”, and I wanted to just have something online where alternative queers like me, who might not live in a place with a thriving LGBT scene (if any) could see, interact with, and get some food for thought (and maybe a laugh or two) from other queer people. uncensored. no holds barred.
The videos of my Mum and I came about when I just thought it would be really helpful for people to see a gay boy and his mother talk frankly, honestly, openly, and humorously about LGBT issues, life, Coming Out, pride, and all those things that (let’s be honest) the majority of gay people can’t talk to their family about. So many LGBT people settle for “tolerance”. They think that’s the best that they can hope for, from family. And for many, it’s probably true. But not for all, and I still believe that progress can be made if you work for it. It won’t be easy, it WILL be uncomfortable for a spell, but openness and dialogues can be had. The response so far has been amazing. I’ve received dozens of letters from boys and girls, and men and women, who’ve told me that the videos inspired them to Come Out, and many have said that they’ve shown the videos to their parents and it helped THEM understand the Coming Out process. Sometimes it’s easier to see another family go through things, or talk through things, so you can see where you fit into it. People always think that they’re the only family to deal with having a gay child. They’re not.
Riff & His Mum on Gay Pride, LGBT Equality, Coming Out and More
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GhqkQ2ie2M
Harvey Milk
Seeing the doc about Harvey in my teens opened my eyes to just how much struggle and WORK had to be done for me to be the gay man that I am today. I’m enormously grateful for the men and women who opened the door for me, and I thank God for them every day.
I’d also read The Mayor of Castro Street, and Harvey simply became my hero. A man with a vision, and a message, and the courage to selflessly live openly, putting himself in the spotlight and in harms way because it was the right thing to do. He sacrificed his own personal safety and security in order to give it to every other LGBT person.
TATTOO
The least I could do for the man I owe my life to, is to immortalize him in ink on my body. I just felt I needed to connect with him in some way, to say “thank you”. I’d been planning it in my head for 10 years. The words: “You gotta give ‘em Hope”. The left-hand fist: proud, strong and defiant. The candles: for the procession the night he was killed, his light still shining. the words “thank you, Harvey”, with his birthdate at the bottom, the words “NEVER BLEND IN”, in a bold font and below, the date of the stonewall riots; a movement born. I look at it and I see him every day. People always ask me about it, to see it close up, and I tell them all about Harvey and why I got it. And my parents think it’s beautiful, so that’s a bonus!
Harvey’s legacy is his message. We need to be Out. We need to be advocates. And it’s not just for us, it’s for the next generation, it’s for every LGBT person who isn’t born into the family of compassionate liberal free-thinkers. We have to help them, we have to give them Hope, because without Hope people give up, like I almost did on occasions I don’t like to remember. And it’s not just in the USA, it’s all over. Kids are coming out in middle school, teens are taking same-sex dates to their proms and dances, LGBT youth are actually able to date during adolescence, anti-gay bigotry is finally (albeit slowly) becoming as repugnant in the public consciousness as anti-Semitism and racism. Harvey didn’t live to see this, but he’s responsible for it. He opened the door, and he saved us. The work of Cleve Jones continues to amaze me, and new faces are coming up; Robin McGehee, activist. Lt. Dan Choi, activist. Artists like Harvey Fierstein, Ellen DeGeneres, Ian McKellen, John Cameron Mitchell, and more. Writers like Ethan Mordden and E. Lynn Harris. They’re continuing the expansion of public consciousness of LGBT people, and diversity.
Harvey’s story is one that continues to save lives today. This book will prove to be an incredible tool not only for preserving the legacy of a man who helped change the state of LGBT rights worldwide, but as a continuing force inspiring LGBT people to Come Out and claim their lives as their own, and to non-LGBT people, helping them understand that the LGBT community is truly their family, too.
There will always be people who can “Pass for white” (as I like to put it) who will choose to. By white, of course, I mean Straight. It’s the term I use for those who try to hope that bigotry will avoid them, and attach onto someone else, as long as they can blend in and pass for something that they’re not. What is the impact? Look at America: anti-LGBT discrimination is still written into law in MOST States. That’s the impact. The more we hide, the longer it will take to break down this culture of anti-LGBT prejudice and bigotry.
This world is not just about me. My life and my decisions and actions affect others, and their actions affect me. I was raised in the LGBT-inclusive United Church of Canada, which is also inclusive to other beliefs, faiths, religions, and ways of life. I am no better than anyone else. I am not entitled to any more than anyone else. But I do belief that I have an obligation to do what I can in this life, to open the doors and help make things easier for those who have not had the opportunities, outlets and support that I’ve had in life. I’m not perfect, I’m far from it, but I do live each day hoping I can be a Visible Minority, and someone people enjoy being around. Every day is a new opportunity to change the hearts and minds of someone about the LGBT Community, and the need for a culture of understanding and equality.
I am gay. I am Queer. The words that were once used to hurt me are now words (and concepts) that I embrace.
NEVER BLEND IN IS…
COPYRIGHT NOTICE © TEXT & IMAGES
We can be part of society without blending in. To me it means living with 100% authenticty (as Dr Phil might say!). We shouldn’t compromise our identity to be accepted but everyone regardless of sexuality or gender identity has a right to fully live.
The community if such a thing exists is diverse but too many live in the shadows. My point is that self worth determines our potential and that blending in is a direct result of feeling “less than”, feeling ashamed of how God (whatever that means to you) made you.
Our BELIEFS inform our THOUGHTS, which in turn inform our CHOICES
Life need not be a self-fulfilling prophecy and by recognising that our “truth” has been shaped through our relationships, our environment and our experiences, we can begin to change our perceptions, heighten our self-esteem and move toward our personal and professional goals with clear vision and purpose….
| As a parent bringing up a straight and a gay child, I think one of our messages to our children was ‘be yourself’ in all things – think for yourself, dress for yourself, and don’t be afraid to stand up and be recognized for who you are or what you believe in. Never Blend In is all of these positive messages.
IRENE MILLER
|
| …we are in the fight for our very lives. NEVER BLEND IN says that we are committed to living out in the open, as we have a right to do. NEVER BLEND IN, means never settle for second best or the notion that we are “second class citizens” I will NEVER blend in.
SIMONE CAMPBELL
|
| We all have to carve out our own paths in the world. We can’t follow another person’s path, and contrary to opinion, we can’t wear someone else’s shoes. We have our destiny and ours alone to shape and control. While I am straight, I have friends that are not, and I want them to have the opportunity to carve their own paths and wear their own shoes without being ashamed, shamed, or abused. I want them to be able to live in the world with the same rights as myself. I hope your book makes a small step in the direction of that world. I think it will.
HANNAH WHISENANT
|
| Never Blend In is about more than being gay, straight, or whatever orientation. It’s about the importance of building a life appropriate for you–the real you. Harvey Milk encouraged us to give EVERYONE hope, and this work does just that, showing people that they can live happily and well no matter WHO they are.
STEPHANIE SILBERSTEIN
|
Bless you
|
| David, I have always been separated from the rest..I have always forged my own path despite the obstacles of being different. The true leaders in all social realms are the individuals. These are the people who are not afraid of closed doors, untraveled paths, and at the end leaders into uncharted territory..Thank you for allowing us to tell our tale. I am and always have been comfortable in my own skin although I know it’s not a suit most would choose to wear..Thanks for giving me the forum to express that. Best of Luck to you…(I know you don’t need it) LIZA FRIEDLANDER
|
| NBI is likely to be encouraging to anyone who isn’t ‘normal’, with the vital message, Be Youself – normality is at fault! “:o)
CHRIS McCABE
|
| Adolescence is an emotional minefield for any boy or girl. For gay teens, navigating that treacherous minefield can be especially challenging. NEVER BLEND IN is a wildly valuable source of comfort, support and inspiration for young people at this most vulnerable time in their lives. I applaud David Watters for providing a book that offers a valuable lesson to all young people, regardless of gender or sexual orientation: be comfortable in your own skin, make the most of your own unique assets and never fall for the trap that “being like everybody else” is better, smarter or easier. I highly recommend NEVER BLEND IN: THE LEGACY OF HARVEY MILK.
SHELLY GOLDSTEIN
|
| NEVER BLEND IN is a perfect title because as the book it requires you to surmise your own individual independent meaning. For me..To NOT be a follower…to think for yourself, and to be authentic and pure.
JAMES MICHAEL McCRACKEN
|
NEVER BLEND IN is not a negative title, it is a defiant title. It is almost like an elder’s advice – ‘Hey, Kid, Whatever you do & however you live remember – “Never Blend In!”‘.TUHIN CHATURVEDI
|
In the world of “Lost Hope” for the youth of the World this book stands as a beacon of light that others have traveled the road before. “Be true to yourself” & “Never Blend In”.JOEL FRAZIER, M.D.
|
| Blending in is compromising in all areas of who we are, whether it’s sexuality or not.
SALLY LINDA RUSSELL
|
| I always feel inspired by someone everyday. I think we should learn something new each day from anywhere or anyone.I’m inspired, right now, by you; answering your intelligent questions Mr. David Watters. It’s not often I get to answer some great meaningful questions. Often it’s always about sex or training. So Bravo!!!
MARCUS PATRICK |
| “Never Blend In,” is so absolutely crucial to our very survival. For when we first discovered our difference, we believed we were alone. This is why statistically, gay teen suicide attempts are four times that of heterosexual youth, and for every completed suicide by a gay youth, there are between 100-200 attempts that are made by other gay teens. Astoundingly, one-third of ALL teenagers who commit suicide do so because they are gay. In America, we have had as many as 11 teenagers a day commit suicide due to their sexual orientation! “Never Blend In” provides a guiding light for all LGBT people (in fact, for all non-LGBT people as well) because it demonstrates that not only are you not alone, but that you too can rise to attain your most desired dreams. There is nothing and no one that can hold you back. Harvey Milk paved the way for us all to be able to be ourselves and to simultaneously provide a role model for others. Whether you are the parent, uncle, or cousin of a gay child, or friend of a gay adult, the stories presented here give a unique insight into the relationships we cherish. You do not need to be gay to be inspired by the lives of these amazing heroes, whose stories are told, often for the first and only time, in “Never Blend In.”
MITCHELL GROBESON
|
ABOUT THE BOOK
Never Blend In: The Legacy of Harvey Milk
by David Watters
Never Blend In: The Legacy of Harvey Milk is a unique collection of inspirational interviews with well known and everyday people who represent the great diversity within the LGBT Community.
The research, supported by PFLAG and The Trevor Project, FFLAG (UK), The Gay Police Association (GPA) and Schools OUT (UK), tackles the issue of teenage suicide and the disenfranchisement often felt by LGBT youth.
Role models from education, entertainment, law enforcement, medical and emergency services, politics, religion and sports have participated in this accessible and much needed discourse to illuminate the reader’s journey of self-discovery and self- efficacy.
Some of those included in the book are Alan Cumming, John Amaechi, Calpernia Addams, Stephen Fry, Darren Hayes, Parvez Sharma, Harvey Milk colleagues Anne Kronenberg & Danny Nicoletta and a foreword by his nephew Stuart Milk.
Openly LGBT and successful role model figures can play an enormous part in highlighting the wealth of possibilities available to young people. These people, who are successfully modelling admirable qualities and character traits such as determination, diligence, vision and consistent effort, can only serve to inspire and encourage the younger generation, or anyone questioning their validity, to lead a balanced, fulfilling and dignified life.
Each chapter is prefaced with sound advice and guidance on how self-worth determines potential.
Life need not be a self-fulfilling prophecy and by recognising that our “truth” has been shaped through our relationships, our environment and our experiences, we can begin to change our perceptions, heighten our self-esteem and move toward our personal and professional goals with clear vision and purpose.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000924072854#!/group.php?gid=106980051654&ref=mf
For young people coming to terms with their sexuality it’s really important that they have positive, high achieving role models as a way of boosting their self esteem and confidence. This kind of book shares the experience of a very diverse group of LGBT people. Individual and collective experience offers the inspiration and motivation for LGBT people to do something worthwhile with their lives and live their dream.
Peter Tatchell
There are two ways you can approach not fitting in. If you get to see it as a blessing, feeling like an Outsider can eventually give you the freedom and license to create your own world, follow your own goals, make your own reality. I’ve always thought it must be a lot harder for those who effortlessly belong – how much stronger the temptation to just blend in and be a non-questioning sheep! Yes, there is pain. Feelings of rejection, confusion, self-doubt. But think of those negatives in a positive light: you have the chance to acquire resilience, fortitude, understanding and the realisation but you have one life to live, so you absolutely have the right to live it your way!
It’s no shame to get help and inspiration from others, which is why David Watters ‘Never Blend In’ is so timely.
Trisha Goddard
“I love your work which is vital to show the richness of embracing and celebrating our wonderful diversity. As Harvey would say, you’re bringing medicine into the world that the world needs! Thank You!”
Role models are described as those individuals who we ‘aspire to’ and who provide strong and achievable targets that we can emulate in pursuit of our career or personal aims. This book breaks down the common stereotypes of gay people and unveils a more realistic perspective, chronicling the success of many gay role models that others aspire to.
In “Never Blend In” David Watters has brought together a number of role models in one publication featuring successful gay artists, scientists and entrepreneurs, who share their experiences and take you on their journey. These are men and women with whom you can relate, whose stories will inspire and motivate you and leave you ready to move forward, both personally and professionally.
Be inspired by the successful members of the gay community; real men and women. Read about the challenges they faced along the way, what helped to keep them going, and what it takes to make a small business, a life, a success.
This book illustrates the breadth and creativity of gays everywhere. It is a pioneering work and the success stories of inspirational gay role models from a wide variety of backgrounds should be made available in every library, every school. These are men and women you can aspire to but who have all shown just what it takes to become a role model – determination, courage and an unwavering desire to succeed.
“Never Blend In” brings you some amazing candidates all of whom have succeeded in very different ways. They each have inspiring stories to tell about their achievements and future ambitions, yet I noticed they all had one thing in common they were passionate about what they did.
So in reality gays are still struggling for acceptance and to reach the top of the ladder. However, I think for the gay who enters the celebrity arena or who decides to do his/her own thing - they no longer have to do it at the expense of their happiness- they can do things on their own terms. For many it will provide them with the work/ life balance that wasn’t available for them in the past. It’s vital we have gays in big business and we need more gays to be there. I think companies need to realise they can’t operate without gays. But they do need to provide the very thing we all tend to take for granted – the basic right of being given the same opportunities and earning power as str8 men. We are mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, lovers, friends. We are like you.
ANTOINE SPITERI
Anthony Spiteri, BS, MSc, PhD (Psychology)
The book NEVER BLEND IN is a provocative look into the lives of successful people who live in a world where the odds are stacked against us. It is important to give hope to the younger generation with diverse sexual orientations to see that we can be happy, healthy, and successful players in this game we call life. I hope by telling my story in this book, I can, in some small way, make life easier for those who march to the beat of a different drum. I am a rebel with a cause…you can either march with me, or step out of my way.
I am excited to order several copies of your book and share them with friends and family as gifts. I may try to use it with one of my classes that I teach at my college on the psychology of diversity.
DR JOHN R. SHAFER, Director of the Counseling Center and Professor at Franklin College of Indiana, President, Shafer Consulting Services
“Never Blend In,” is so absolutely crucial to our very survival. For when we first discovered our difference, we believed we were alone. This is why statistically, gay teen suicide attempts are four times that of heterosexual youth, and for every completed suicide by a gay youth, there are between 100-200 attempts that are made by other gay teens. Astoundingly, one-third of ALL teenagers who commit suicide do so because they are gay. In America, we have had as many as 11 teenagers a day commit suicide due to their sexual orientation! “Never Blend In” provides a guiding light for all LGBT people (in fact, for all non-LGBT people as well) because it demonstrates that not only are you not alone, but that you too can rise to attain your most desired dreams. There is nothing and no one that can hold you back. Harvey Milk paved the way for us all to be able to be ourselves and to simultaneously provide a role model for others. Whether you are the parent, uncle, or cousin of a gay child, or friend of a gay adult, the stories presented here give a unique insight into the relationships we cherish. You do not need to be gay to be inspired by the lives of these amazing heroes, whose stories are told, often for the first and only time, in “Never Blend In.”
MITCHELL GROBESON
This book is crucially important because we need to continually shed light on the struggles and adversity facing the LGBT community. We can never become complacent in our fight for equal rights and we need to remember the trailblazers who ignited the spark for the flame of progress that burns today. As role models following in the legacy of others like Harvey Milk, we need to stand as proud confident people and continue to broaden the path of acceptance for those that follow us.
JACK MACKENROTH
NEVER BLEND IN
A PRO-EQUALITY BLOG, written by Diversity Specialist, writer and motivational speaker David E Watters (NBI ASSOCIATES).
Articles on Equality & Diversity, Personal & Professional Development, Education & Management; his book, NEVER BLEND IN (http://www.nbiassociates.co.uk/Never-Blend-In.html), and the Give 'em Hope Campaign http://www.nbiassociates.co.uk/Give--em-Hope-Campaign.html)
EMAIL: DavidWatters@nbiassociates.co.uk
SKYPE: never.blend.in
