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NEVER BLEND IN
How to live unlimited by labels
DAVID E. WATTERS
FOREWORD: STUART MILK
 NEVER BLEND IN is an accessible book about achieving personal authenticity, a groundbreaking and vital book of exclusive celebrity and deeply personal non-celebrity interviews, which is aimed primarily at a young lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or questioning audience. The book, however, is also of value to educators, parents, family and mental health professionals seeking insight into the LGBTQ experience.
Role models from education, entertainment, law enforcement, medical and emergency services, politics, religion and sports have participated in this accessible and much needed discourse to illuminate the reader’s journey of self-discovery and to illustrate that living a life unlimited by labels will lead to personal, professional and spiritual fulfilment.
 These candid stories and wise words are a powerful toolkit to encourage, inspire, uplift and give hope to those who need it most; those who may feel disenfranchised or who may lack self-belief.
 STALKING ALAN CUMMING Inspired by the life of Harvey Milk and with a foreword by his nephew Stuart Milk, this book includes original and insightful interviews with actors Alan Cumming OBE (Cabaret, Spy Kids, The Good Wife), Stephen Fry (Peter’s Friends, Wilde), Anthony Rapp (Rent), Colton Ford (The Lair), Marcus Patrick (My Wife & Kids, CSI: Miami, Passions and Dancing With The Stars), Scotch Ellis Loring (Frasier, Malcolm in the Middle, 24, Alias, Touched by An Angel) and Adele Anderson (Fascinating Aida); key equality advocates, educators and influencers of policy Sue Sanders (Schools Out), Charles Robbins (CEO, The Trevor Project), Stephen Williams MP, Jack MacKenroth (Project Runway, Queens of Drag: NYC), Rabbi Denise Eger, Lt. Dan Choi and veteran human rights campaigner, Peter Tatchell; filmmaker Parvez Sharma (A Jihad for Love); musicians Darren Hayes (Savage Garden) and Levi Kreis (Tony Award winner for “Best Featured Actor in a Musical” for his role as Jerry Lee Lewis in the Broadway musical Million Dollar Quartet) ; sporting greats, NBA star, John Amaechi (author of Man in the Middle) and Olympic swimmer Bruce Hayes; transgender trailblazers Calpernia Addams, the Rev David E. Weekley (author of In from the Wilderness) and Jamison Green (author of Becoming a Visible Man); Mental Health professionals, Gladeana McMahon, Antoine Spiteri and Dr. John Shafer; writers Tom Robb Smith (Child 44, The Secret Speech), Leslea Newman (A Letter to Harvey Milk), Linda Goldman (Coming Out, Coming In), Michael Musto (The Village Voice); Del Shores (Sordid Lives) and Stephanie Silberstein (Shades of Gay); representatives from organizations including The Trevor Project, The Harvey Milk Foundation, PFLAG, FireFLAG, The Gay Police Association and Schools Out and colleagues of Harvey Milk; Anne Kronenberg, Daniel Nicoletta and Tom Ammiano.
 with Stuart Milk 2009 These stories of living authentically, with dignity and unlimited by labels will help readers to understand how self esteem determines the path they choose and that life need not be a self fulfilling prophecy when they improve self-concept, drive out fear and embrace new challenges as opportunities to learn and grow, eliminate self imposed limitations and cease dependence on others to provide validity.
David E. Watters
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Tag Archives: STEPHEN FRY
RECIPROCAL RECOMMENDATIONS AND FREE PUBLICITY
I’d like to invite you to write a brief recommendation of my work that I can include in my LinkedIn profile. You will need to be a member of Linkedin to do this.
MY PROFILE IS HERE: http://uk.linkedin.com/pub/david-equality-watters/23/371/95b
Alternatively an endorement for my website would be appreciated and this can be emailed to DavidWatters@nbiassociates.co.uk
I will gladly reciprocate and endorse the work that you do. Top quotes will also be featured on http://www.nbiassociates.co.uk with a link to your site.
Thanks in advance for helping me out. DAVID EQUALITY WATTERS
YOU CAN ENDORSE ME AS A WRITER, PUBLIC SPEAKER OR WORKSHOP PROVIDER – HOWEVER YOU KNOW ME BEST.
LINKS:
WRITING: http://www.ambiente.us/05509JohnAmaechi.html (JOHN AMAECHI)
http://www.ambiente.us/010011Trevor.html (THE TREVOR PROJECT)
PUBLIC SPEAKING: http://www.nbiassociates.co.uk/Motivational-Speaking.html
WORKSHOPS: http://www.nbiassociates.co.uk/default.html
David was recently profiled on 10,000 Couples as Someone You Should Know:
Since graduating from The Institute of Education, University of London, David has gone on to train with LEAP, as a mediator, and is a qualified facilitator for The Pacific Institute. He is a writer on social inequality issues, is a key player in the Equal Love Campaign UK and author of the forthcoming book, NEVER BLEND IN which supports and is supported by the Trevor Project and theHarvey Milk Foundation, features key voices from the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender community including Stephen Fry, Colton Ford, Mike Ruiz, Calpernia Addams, Alan Cumming, Darren Hayes, Lt. Dan Choi, LGBT Olympic athletes, actors, politicians, military, firefighters, Harvey Milk colleagues (Anne Kronenberg, Tom Ammiano and Dan Nicoletta) and has a foreword by Stuart Milk.
This groundbreaking book aims to inspire and encourage those who may lack self-belief or who question their validity.
David is also currently promoting a youtube campaign, “Give ‘em Hope”, and is asking individuals, couples and groups to make and share videos telling about the benefits of living with personal authenticity.
He has shared a platform with Stuart Milk and Peter Tatchell and is a supporter of 17-24-30, The Trevor Project, Schools Out, The Harvey Milk Foundation and has great admiration for the WHOF initiative and all the brave members of this group who speak out against the prejudice and bigotry in our society.
ENDORSEMENTS
COPYRIGHT NOTICE © TEXT & IMAGES
I think that out of everyone in society LGBT people, especially LGBT youth, are subjected to most negative energy and the most negative portrayals of themselves and so it’s really important for us as a community to give back and to let people see that the sun can shine
ALAN CUMMING
Stuart Milk, nephew of Harvey Milk and Equality Advocate, has said: “I love your work, which is vital to show the richness of embracing and celebrating our wonderful diversity. As Harvey would say, you’re bringing medicine into the world that the world needs! Thank you!”
He (Harvey Milk) had great confidence in me; I really felt that the basic message was “you can do it”. He was a cheerleader first and then he would deconstruct content second. I think there was always this attention to helping somebody really feel that they can make their way.
If you look at his speeches that’s there; there’s really this broad stroke that’s about positivity and confidence so you’re on the right path in terms of carrying on his work that way.
DAN NICOLETTA
PETER TATCHELL
For young people coming to terms with their sexuality it’s really important that they have positive, high achieving role models as a way of boosting their self esteem and confidence. This kind of book shares the experience of a very diverse group of LGBT people. Individual and collective experience offers the inspiration and motivation for LGBT people to do something worthwhile with their lives and live their dream.
There are two ways you can approach not fitting in. If you get to see it as a blessing, feeling like an Outsider can eventually give you the freedom and license to create your own world, follow your own goals, and make your own reality. I’ve always thought it must be a lot harder for those who effortlessly belong – how much stronger the temptation to just blend in and be a non-questioning sheep! Yes, there is pain. Feelings of rejection, confusion, self-doubt. But think of those negatives in a positive light: you have the chance to acquire resilience, fortitude, understanding and the realization but you have one life to live, so you absolutely have the right to live it your way!
It’s no shame to get help and inspiration from others, which is why David Watters ‘Never Blend In’, is so timely.
TRISHA GODDARD
…some people growing up LGBT will certainly want affirmation that they are not alone, but they will also (quite rightly IMHO) resist the idea that there is a “type” and that they fall into a categorisation. Such is the human paradox, yearning to assimilated and demanding to be treated as unique and apart. A part of the tribe and apart from the tribe. There are plenty of young LGBT people I know or have known who hate the idea of any sort of ghetto or connection with others. I’m Jewish and I’ll fight against anti-Semitism, but I’ll also raise issues about Israel’s violations of human rights and express my happy atheism and contempt for much of Judaism… It’s not a question of “hurrah, there’s a role model, now I know who I am and who my people are and where I belong in the world.”
Links to MORE of my writing:
AMBIENTE.US, NEVER BLEND IN ARTICLES:
POLARI ARTICLES:
MANCHESTER MOUTH (INTERVIEW APRIL 2010):
aechi opens-up on gay issues
10thousand Couples LLC (ARTICLE MAY 2010):
OPEN LETTER TO SANDRA BERNHARD
Dear Miss Bernhard
I am writing a book to support the Trevor Project, NEVER BLEND IN, which is an inspirational collection of interviews with role models; those living authentically – “regular” people and well known contributors including Lt Dan Choi, Stephen Fry, Alan Cumming, Parvez Sharma, Stuart Milk, The Trevor Project, Mike Ruiz, Anthony Rapp (Rent), Calpernia Addams, Darren Hayes, Harvey Milk colleagues (Dan Nicoletta, Anne Kronenberg and Tom Ammiano), Rabbi Denise Eger, Rev David Weekley, amongst many others.
The book is intended to provide a source of inspiration for readers who may question their validity.As someone who lives a life of integrity and authenticity, your voice would be an incredible addition. Can we please arrange an interview whilst you are here in London? I will be sitting front row, centre, on February 13th at the Leicester Square Theatre so perhaps we could talk beforehand.
Links to verify my validity and to see what the project is all about: http://www.nbiassociates.co.uk
Please get back to me as the book will be missing a vital voice without your contribution.
I also write for http://www.ambiente.us so could perhaps use an edit of the interview to promote you current work.
Best wishes, David E. Watters
never_blend_in@rocketmail.com
IF YOU THINK SANDRA BERNHARD SHOULD BE IN MY BOOK THEN WHY NOT EMAIL OR CALL HER AGENT TO TELL HIM WHY:
Live & Personal Appearances:
For All Acting, Live Performances & Personal Appearances Please
Contact:
Kenneth Hartung ManagementKenneth Hartung
Kenneth@KennethHartungManagement.com
Phone: (516) 303-6019
Biography
Since she first stepped on stage at the Comedy Store in the ‘70s, Sandra Bernhard has been challenging fans and critics with her outrageous humor, keen satire and rollicking stage shows. “Give the dame her due,” writes the New York Times, “It’s invigorating to be in the presence of a true original.”
Bernhard, who writes and develops all of her own material, has produced numerous one-woman shows over the years, among them: Without You I’m Nothing—which was released as a feature film—Excuses for Bad Behavior, Giving ‘Til It Hurts, Hero Worship, the Love Machine, and Everything Bad and Beautiful, which ran for two months off-Broadway, before Bernhard toured with it, making numerous stops across the U.S. and in Europe. “A performer of stunning originality. Funny but foxy, super smart and slightly mad!” proclaimed WCBS. “Bernhard is a very funny woman by nature, a rocker by sheer determination and an actress you’ve seen in eclectic offerings,” says the Washington Post.
Bernhard’s last show, “Hero Worship,” featured a five-piece band and was a post-September 11th tribute to Bernhard’s commitment to irony—that it, too, has survived September 11th. The show featured a range of musical numbers (some original and some covers). It was a fearless attempt to show that life must continue and the show must go on. Other notable performances include her participation in the “Stormy Weather Benefit ’98,” organized by Don Henley, which also featured Stevie Nicks and Joni Mitchell, as well as “The Elton John Tribute for Broadway Cares.”
Bernhard’s one-woman Broadway show, “I’m Still Here … Damn It!,” was hailed by the New York Times as “an angst driven, foul-mouthed poison-laced joy ride that banks and careens frenetically through the worlds of fashion, celebrity, rock, and religion. In her own voice, unfiltered, [Bernhard] is a living, breathing bonfire.” The show, which initially ran for five months off Broadway, went on to play sold-out runs in Boston and San Francisco, and was filmed for an HBO special.
Bernhard first earned film accolades in 1983 when she appeared in Martin Scorsese’s “The King of Comedy.” Other film work includes “Inside Monkey Zetterland,” “Track 29,” “Hudson Hawk,” “Dinner Rush,” and “Dare.” And she is about to begin filming on two new projects.
From 1991-1996, Bernhard portrayed Nancy Bartlett on “Roseanne,” and she has had guest starring or recurring roles on numerous other shows, among them; “Ally McBeal,” “The Larry Sanders Show,” “The Sopranos,” “Law & Order: SVU,” “The L Word,” “Will & Grace,” and “The New Adventures of Old Christine.” She has appeared numerous times on “Late Night with David Letterman,” and has been a guest on “The Tonight Show,” “The View,” “The Joy Behar Show,” “The Jimmy Kimmel Show,” “The Rachel Maddow Show,” and Showtime’s “The Green Room,” among others. She has appeared regularly on the Howard Stern show since the ‘80s. And was the host of “Sandra After Dark,” for HBO, and “Reel Wild Cinema.”
In addition to her original songs, Bernhard performs covers from Led Zeppelin to Laura Nyro; Burt Bachrach to Britney Spears. “One moment, her voice is lulling you into a wistful sigh; the next, she’s knocking you back several rows with it,” proclaimed the SF Weekly. Her albums include: “I’m Your Woman,” and most recently she collaborated on the world music album “Whatever it Takes,” featuring African musicians such as Papa Wemba and TK. She has also sung with or opened for various musical acts, including: The Pretenders, Cyndi Lauper, and the Scissor Sisters. She participated in the “Stormy Weather Benefit ’98,” organized by Don Henley, which also featured Stevie Nicks and Joni Mitchell and “The Elton John Tribute for Broadway Cares.” Bernhard has also lent her talents to benefits for organizations including: The Ali Forney Center for LGBT Homeless Youth, and Broadway Cares Equity Fights AIDS.
Bernhard has written three books: Confessions of a Pretty Lady (Harper&Row, 1988), Love, Love and Love (HarperCollins, 1994), and May I Kiss You on the Lips, Miss Sandra? (William Morrow, 1998). And she is currently at work on her fourth collection. Her work has also been published in numerous magazines, including, The New Yorker, Vanity Fair, Conde Nast Traveler, Rolling Stone, Interview, and Spy.
Sandra Bernhard – Whatever It Takes
About the Show
Back performing in London for the first time in two years, Sandra Bernhard is returning to Leicester Square Theatre for 5 shows based on her latest album, ‘Whatever It Takes’.
‘Whatever It Takes’ is an inspired musical cross-cultural road trip which travels musically from New York, to Africa, the middle east, and South America.
But music is just one element of a Sandra Bernhard gig. Described by the New York Times as “a living, breathing bonfire”, Bernhard has been combining comedy and rock ‘n’ roll and courting controversy for 25 years, challenging fans and critics with her knife-edged humour, satire and emotive performances on film, television and stage.
An accomplished comedienne, actress, singer, and writer, Sandra Bernhard defies easy categorisation. Her live performances – part comedy, part social satire, and part cabaret – perfectly showcase her astonishing range of talents.
Performances
9th Feb 2011 to 13th Feb 20117.30pm
TICKETS: http://www.leicestersquaretheatre.com/lqt/show/S1288368995/Sandra+Bernhard
I’M YOUR MAN
David E. Watters, a graduate of Trinity College of Music, London and the Institute of Education, University of London, has worked internationally as a performer, director and educator for more than 20 years, has taught literacy, drama and music within a wide variety of socially and culturally diverse settings and, as a personal and professional development associate with The Pacific Institute (www.pacificinstitute.co.uk), a personal tutor, freelance writer, public speaker and founding member of NBI Associates (www.nbiassociates.co.uk), is an Equality Advocate who brings inspiration and motivation, enhances personal efficacy and encourages excellence.
As a performer he has worked for Disney, Warner Brothers, English Chamber Orchestra, Scottish Chamber Orchestra, Mayfield Chamber Opera amongst many others.
As a teacher, David was most recently a Head of Department in Further Education with a 100% pass rate and a fantastic progression record; students currently studying at Laban, Rose Bruford, RADA, Trinity College of Music. and working successfully within the industry – most recent success being Rachel Adedeji who reached the televised finals of X Factor 2009.
David, who regularly writes for www.ambiente.us, One Nation and Polari, has been championed by Stuart Milk, nephew of Harvey Milk and Equality Advocate, who has said: “I love your work, which is vital to show the richness of embracing and celebrating our wonderful diversity. As Harvey would say, you’re bringing medicine into the world that the world needs! Thank you!”
He is an inspirational, motivational speaker who most recently shared a platform with Peter Tatchell and Stuart Milk at the 17-24-30 No to Hate Vigil in Trafalgar Square, London.
http://www.nbiassociates.co.uk/Invite-DAVID-To-Speak-.html
David is currently finalizing his book, Never Blend In: The Legacy of Harvey Milk which supports and is supported by The Trevor Project and the Harvey Milk Foundation.
The book sets out to highlight and challenge social perceptions of the LGBT community; to understand the causes of low self-esteem and suicide ideation felt by many LGBT individuals and, through a unique collection of inspirational interviews with well known and everyday people, to inspire and encourage the younger generation, or anyone questioning their validity, to lead a balanced, fulfilling and dignified life.
Role models from education, entertainment, law enforcement, medical and emergency services, politics, religion and sports have participated in this accessible and much needed discourse to illuminate the reader’s journey of self-discovery and self- efficacy.
Openly LGBT and successful role model figures can play an enormous part in highlighting the wealth of possibilities available to young people. These people, who are successfully modeling admirable qualities and character traits such as determination, diligence, vision and consistent effort, can only serve to inspire and encourage the younger generation, or anyone questioning their validity, to lead a balanced, fulfilling and dignified life.
Notable voices in the book are Harvey’s colleagues, Anne Kronenberg, Tom Ammiano and Danny Nicoletta; Equality Advocate, Stuart Milk; actors Stephen Fry, Alan Cumming and Anthony Rapp; Human Rights Campaigner, Peter Tatchell; musician Darren Hayes (Savage Garden); Sordid Lives writer Del Shores; columnist, Michael Musto; filmmaker, Parvez Sharma; actress and businesswoman, Calpernia Addams; NBA star John Amaechi; Rabbi Denise Eger, Rev. David Weekley, Lt. Daniel Choi and authors Lesléa Newman and Tom Rob Smith.
We, as a community, are under or misrepresented in the media and this impacts upon how individuals are perceived and treated by society. Positive, inspirational role models from the LGBT community can have an enormous impact on addressing this and can give hope to individuals who feel less valid and disenfranchised from society.
Most inspiring have been the “regular” people (the Scottish fireman, the Canadian concert pianist, the American professor, the South African artist or the student in Cardiff) who live with authenticity and, perhaps without realizing, are role models and inspirational figures to those whose lives they touch.
The “community” if such a thing exists is diverse but too many live in the shadows. My point, with this book, is that self worth determines our potential and that blending in is a direct result of feeling “less than”, feeling ashamed of how God (whatever that means to you) made you”.
Harvey Milk’s legacy, for this author, is the growing number of proud LGBT individuals who refuse to live lives limited by the judgment of others.
We can be part of society without blending in. To me it means living with 100% authenticity (as Dr Phil or Oprah might say!). We shouldn’t compromise our identity to be accepted and everyone regardless of sexuality or gender identity has a right to fully live.
Life need not be a self-fulfilling prophecy and by recognizing that our “truth” has been shaped through our relationships, our environment and our experiences, we can begin to change our perceptions, heighten our self-esteem and move toward our personal and professional goals with clear vision and purpose….
David’s background in arts and education, combined with a solid understanding of CBT, and his passion for Equality Advocacy drive every aspect of his work as a motivational speaker, personal development facilitator and a writer.
LINKS
WRITING: http://www.nbiassociates.co.uk/Links.html
MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKING: http://www.nbiassociates.co.uk/Invite-DAVID-To-Speak-.html
COACHING: http://www.nbiassociates.co.uk/NBI-for-Individuals.html
WORKSHOPS –
SCHOOLS AND COLLEGES: http://www.nbiassociates.co.uk/NBI-for-Schools—Colleges.html
CREATIVE CHALLENGE DAYS FOR PERFORMERS: http://www.nbiassociates.co.uk/CREATIVE-CHALLENGE-DAYS.html
NBI FOR BUSINESSES: http://www.nbiassociates.co.uk/NBI-for-Businesses.html
EQUAL LOVE: www.equallove.org.uk
Please email DAVID WATTERS at DavidWatters@nbiassociates.co.uk
with your requirements and availability.
David E. Watters
Enhancing Learning • Improving Performance • Inspiring Learners
EXPERIENCED WRITER, TEACHER, PERSONAL TUTOR & SPEAKER
…dedicated to guiding students to succeed while inspiring an insatiable passion for learning through performance
David E. Watters, a graduate of Trinity College of Music, London and the Institute of Education, University of London, has worked internationally as a director and educator for more than 20 years, has taught literacy, drama and music within a wide variety of socially and culturally diverse settings and, as a personal and professional development associate with The Pacific Institute, a personal tutor, freelance writer, public speaker and founding member of NBI Associates, is an Equality Advocate who brings inspiration and motivation, enhances personal efficacy and encourages excellence.
SUMMARY OF SKILLS
Advanced IT Skills - MS OFFICE – WORD, POWERPOINT, OUTLOOK, INTERNET MARKETING TOOLS, INTRANET.
Literacy, Numeracy, Employability Skills, Performing Arts – embedding key skills within vocational learning.
Devising, Developing and Coordination – utilizing differentiated teaching strategies and resources to accommodate specific learning requirements and liaising with Heads of Department, teaching staff and external partners.
Communication and Interpersonal Skills – development of Creative Partnerships, interdepartmental liaison and extensive public performance. I have been a school manager, Head of Department, teacher and personal tutor. Also a public speaker and writer on social equality, I work with a broad range of charities (17-24-30, the Albert Kennedy Trust, the Harvey Milk Foundation and the Trevor Project) and, as part of the Equal Love UK Campaign, I coordinate publicity with local and national media.
Collaboration – I have had a broad range of teaching and management experience which has enhanced my capacity for working supportively within a team environment and adapt well to both following and delivering instruction. As an education coordinator, I have been instrumental in coordinating educational and charity events which have involved the liaison with public figures (including Kylie Minogue, Stephen Fry, Darren Hayes and Joan Baez), educational establishments and charitable organizations (notably, The Terrence Higgins Trust).
SUMMARY OF QUALIFICATIONS
- The Institute of Education, University of London – PGCE. 2006
- SMART TRAINING – Edexcel Level 3 BTEC Award in Management. 2010
- SMART TRAINING – Edexcel Level 3 NVQ in Management. 2010
- The Pacific Institute – Facilitator for PX2 PROGRAM. 2010
- The Pacific Institute – Facilitator for the Investment in Excellence. 2009
- American Express Europe Limited – ICP (Instructors Certificate). 2001
- Trinity College of Music, London – DipTCL (Merit). 1996
- Napier University, Edinburgh – Diploma in Music, ALCM (Performance) and LLCM (Peripatetic Teaching Qualification). 1991 and 1992
- Dundee College of Further Education – NVQ Theatre Arts 1989
HIGHLIGHTED TEACHING EXPERIENCE
July 2010: NBI Associates – Program Director: Music & Drama Based education programs utilizing Cognitive Behavioural strategies to encourage personal efficacy, goal setting and to eradicate limiting labels. Responsible for writing courses, training staff, creating resources which cater for different learning requirement of individuals and environments.
July 2009 – Present: The Pacific Institute – Personal and Professional Development Facilitator: Management consultancy and market research to create courses specific to individual business or community requirements. Following key concepts and Learning Objectives, I devise and deliver customer focused courses.
July 2006 – July 2010: Greenwich Community College – Musical Theatre Coordinator: Responsibility for WRITING UNITS BASED ON GIVEN CRITERIA (BTEC FIRST, BTEC ND, LOCN) and the coordination and delivery of BTEC FIRST & ND Performing Arts (Musical Theatre). Creation of relevant learning resources, writing Schemes of Work, Assignment Briefs, Internal Verification, Coordination of External Verification. Additionally, staff recruitment and support; providing guidance and training where necessary, Portfolio Development, Strategy Planning, interdepartmental liaison and coordination with particular regard to performance events, student guidance towards entry into Higher Education providing them with the correct balance of knowledge, skills and experience to confidently audition for Drama School, University or to enter the profession directly.
April 2004 – August 2006: Plumstead Manor School – Musical Theatre Tutor: Responsible for devising, delivering and assessing the work for BTEC First and BTEC ND Performing Arts Courses. Classroom teacher for Years 7 to 11 including GCSE. Singing teacher and choirmaster. Direction and/or Musical Direction for Unit related performances.
Jan 2004 – Dec 2005: Theatretrain – Franchisee and School Manager for Greenwich Theatretrain: This role involved program planning, Staff and Student Recruitment and Retention, Budget Planning, Accounting, Publicity and Promotion, Project Coordination, Event Management (both large and small scale); Script Writing/Adapting, Musical Arranging, Costume/Prop/Set Designing and Building/Making and Scheduling, the building of Creative Partnerships, Student Welfare and staff/student/parent liaison.
May 2003 – August 2006: Bexley Business Academy, Kent – Peripatetic singing Tutor and Choirmaster: Responsible for teaching technique, repertoire and musicianship to students preparing for Rockschool, Associated Board and GCSE Examinations. Choirmaster role was to build a varied choral repertoire suitable for performance at internal and external events (Assemblies, Award Ceremonies and Local Festivals)
2000 – 2002: American Express Europe – Line Instructor and Training Co-ordinator: Responsible for coordinating training with recruitment needs. Devising and delivering training on Products, Processes and Systems for New Accounts EMEA (Europe, Middle East and Asia ). Creation of learning tools and resources. Staff training and support.
1998 – 1999: Reynolds Theatre Academy, Dartford – Head of Vocal Studies.
REFEREES
Available upon request
ENDORSEMENTS
COPYRIGHT NOTICE © TEXT & IMAGES
Stuart Milk, nephew of Harvey Milk and Equality Advocate, has said: “I love your work, which is vital to show the richness of embracing and celebrating our wonderful diversity. As Harvey would say, you’re bringing medicine into the world that the world needs! Thank you!”
I think that out of everyone in society LGBT people, especially LGBT youth, are subjected to most negative energy and the most negative portrayals of themselves and so it’s really important for us as a community to give back and to let people see that the sun can shine
ALAN CUMMING
He (Harvey Milk) had great confidence in me; I really felt that the basic message was “you can do it”. He was a cheerleader first and then he would deconstruct content second. I think there was always this attention to helping somebody really feel that they can make their way.
If you look at his speeches that’s there; there’s really this broad stroke that’s about positivity and confidence so you’re on the right path in terms of carrying on his work that way.
For me as a care professional, working in chem-dependency, to have any kind of guidebook that talks about self-esteem or how to keep people from committing suicide…I’m all for it. The few kids that have shown up that had suicide ideation, quite honestly, I didn’t have a template for what to tell them so I had to rely upon my intuition but I have no idea if I’m doing the right thing. I definitely feel that the therapeutic community, the psychological therapeutic community has a role to play in LGBT civil rights and I applaud you for doing this.
I was reading some of your pages on your website and I thought, “This is the antidote to my suicidal friend. If he could just read this, it would help him rephrase what he is defaulting to now.”
This is a very spiritually adept person; he’s practiced many disciplines, meditates, and he’s gone through all kinds of personal growth stuff and, because of his propensity to respond to his own addiction, he really ends up in these suicidal places. It’s really heartbreaking, you know and I don’t know why I got saved, why I didn’t, why I figured it out, how not to do that. When I see this happening to him, it’s just mind-boggling and it really is good to have a map available to find your way out of those negative moods.
DAN NICOLETTA
For young people coming to terms with their sexuality it’s really important that they have positive, high achieving role models as a way of boosting their self esteem and confidence. This kind of book shares the experience of a very diverse group of LGBT people. Individual and collective experience offers the inspiration and motivation for LGBT people to do something worthwhile with their lives and live their dream.
PETER TATCHELL
There are two ways you can approach not fitting in. If you get to see it as a blessing, feeling like an Outsider can eventually give you the freedom and license to create your own world, follow your own goals, and make your own reality. I’ve always thought it must be a lot harder for those who effortlessly belong – how much stronger the temptation to just blend in and be a non-questioning sheep! Yes, there is pain. Feelings of rejection, confusion, self-doubt. But think of those negatives in a positive light: you have the chance to acquire resilience, fortitude, understanding and the realization but you have one life to live, so you absolutely have the right to live it your way!
It’s no shame to get help and inspiration from others, which is why David Watters ‘Never Blend In’, is so timely.
TRISHA GODDARD
At all times, but especially as an adolescent you need to be told “You are not alone” – there is no more positive and euphoric feeling than the discovery that others, including people of courage, genius, insight, passion, talent and charm felt the kind of feelings you feel. Especially when society, religion and the world tell you that those feelings are wrong.
I have to modify that with this point though: some people growing up LGBT will certainly want affirmation that they are not alone, but they will also (quite rightly IMHO) resist the idea that there is a “type” and that they fall into a categorisation. Such is the human paradox, yearning to assimilated and demanding to be treated as unique and apart. A part of the tribe and apart from the tribe. There are plenty of young LGBT people I know or have known who hate the idea of any sort of ghetto or connection with others. I’m Jewish and I’ll fight against anti-Semitism, but I’ll also raise issues about Israel’s violations of human rights and express my happy atheism and contempt for much of Judaism… It’s not a question of “hurrah, there’s a role model, now I know who I am and who my people are and where I belong in
the world.”
STEPHEN FRY
Role models are described as those individuals who we ‘aspire to’ and who provide strong and achievable targets that we can emulate in pursuit of our career or personal aims. This book breaks down the common stereotypes of gay people and unveils a more realistic perspective, chronicling the success of many gay role models that others aspire to.
In “Never Blend In” David Watters has brought together a number of role models in one publication featuring successful gay artists, scientists and entrepreneurs, who share their experiences and take you on their journey. These are men and women with whom you can relate, whose stories will inspire and motivate you and leave you ready to move forward, both personally and professionally.
Be inspired by the successful members of the gay community; real men and women. Read about the challenges they faced along the way, what helped to keep them going, and what it takes to make a small business, a life, a success.
This book illustrates the breadth and creativity of gays everywhere. It is a pioneering work and the success stories of inspirational gay role models from a wide variety of backgrounds should be made available in every library, every school. These are men and women you can aspire to but who have all shown just what it takes to become a role model – determination, courage and an unwavering desire to succeed.
“Never Blend In” brings you some amazing candidates all of whom have succeeded in very different ways. They each have inspiring stories to tell about their achievements and future ambitions, yet I noticed they all had one thing in common they were passionate about what they did.
So in reality gays are still struggling for acceptance and to reach the top of the ladder. However, I think for the gay who enters the celebrity arena or who decides to do his/her own thing - they no longer have to do it at the expense of their happiness- they can do things on their own terms. For many it will provide them with the work/ life balance that wasn’t available for them in the past. It’s vital we have gays in big business and we need more gays to be there. I think companies need to realize they can’t operate without gays. But they do need to provide the very thing we all tend to take for granted – the basic right of being given the same opportunities and earning power as str8 men. We are mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, lovers, and friends. We are like you.
Anthony Spiteri, BS, MSc, PhD (Psychology)
The book NEVER BLEND IN is a provocative look into the lives of successful people who live in a world where the odds are stacked against us. It is important to give hope to the younger generation with diverse sexual orientations to see that we can be happy, healthy, and successful players in this game we call life. I hope by telling my story in this book, I can, in some small way, make life easier for those who march to the beat of a different drum. I am a rebel with a cause…you can either march with me, or step out of my way.
I am excited to order several copies of your book and share them with friends and family as gifts. I may try to use it with one of my classes that I teach at my college on the psychology of diversity.
DR JOHN R. SHAFER, Director of the Counseling Center and Professor at Franklin College of Indiana, President, Shafer Consulting Services
Gladeana McMahon, As one of the leading personal development and transformational coaches in the UK, Gladeana was instrumental in founding the Association for Coaching for which she now holds the positions of Life Fellow and Vice President.
The Book that David Watters is proposing is long overdue as there is little written on the topic of LGBT issues.
Positive role models are important to individuals whether they be LGBT individuals talking about their experiences or the family and friends of such individuals who can model acceptance and positive affirmation. Therapists are likely to be interested in such a book in a bid to understand the specific needs of those who identify as LGBT considering the best ways to work with such individuals and/or their families. Academics are likely to find the book useful in considering issues around diversity and, of course, the general public will also benefit as a book of this sort educates the reader. This book will also help LGBT individuals to understand their situation and consider how to develop a deep and meaningful sense of self-worth. It will also help such individuals understand how best to help those around them to understand their situation as much as it will educate family and friends.
NEVER BLEND IN, and the efforts of writer David Watters, is a brilliant collection and resource of openly LGBT and successful role models across the globe. The value to all, especially for the younger generation, is paramount. The presentation of individuals who are successful, determined, active and visible in our communities will undoubtedly inspire all who read this collection, to do better, become a better person, and strive for greatness in their lives and that of others.
The LGBT community has often been portrayed in a less than favorable light – NEVER BLEND IN rips that inaccurate veil off, and offers a face and portrait of today’s LGBT community, its leaders, history, accomplishments and potential.
Herb Sosa, Editor|Publisher – Ambiente Magazine
& President – Unity Coalition|Coalicion Unida
“NEVER BLEND IN is a vital project that is sure to make a difference in many young (and not so young!) lives. As the author of HEATHER HAS TWO MOMMIES, I have seen firsthand how important it is for children to see a family like theirs portrayed in the media. It is just as important for teenagers and adults to see themselves represented in books, in film, and on TV.
By showcasing people who are out as lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender and living authentic lives, David Watters is sending an important message to those struggling to come out and be out: You CAN be yourself and live a full, satisfying, meaningful, and glorious life.”–
Lesléa Newman
This book is crucially important because we need to continually shed light on the struggles and adversity facing the LGBT community.
We can never become complacent in our fight for equal rights and we need to remember the trailblazers who ignited the spark for the flame of progress that burns today.
As role models following in the legacy of others like Harvey Milk, we need to stand as proud confident people and continue to broaden the path of acceptance for those that follow us.
JACK MACKENROTH
“Never Blend In: The Legacy of Harvey Milk” is an important work that will inspire and lead at the same time. Harvey’s legacy to us is one of activism, “can do” spirit and honesty.
This project authored and edited by David Watters will help certainly reach out and touch a generation of young people who will be the ones to carry on his legacy by helping transform our perceptions of the LGBT community and lay the foundation for a healthy and whole sense of self.
Rabbi Denise L. Eger
Congregation Kol Ami
West Hollywood’s Reform Synagogue
1200 N. La Brea Ave
West Hollywood, CA 90038
…we are in the fight for our very lives. NEVER BLEND IN says that we are committed to living out in the open, as we have a right to do. NEVER BLEND IN, means never settle for second best or the notion that we are “second class citizens” I will NEVER blend in. SIMONE CAMPBELL
I always feel inspired by someone everyday. I think we should learn something new each day from anywhere or anyone. I’m inspired right now, by you, answering your intelligent questions Mr. David Watters. It’s not often I get to answer some great meaningful questions. So Bravo!!!
MARCUS PATRICK
There’s plenty of times in this world where we can feel isolated and alone and anytime we can find a source of community, a feeling of being a part of something bigger than ourselves; that can provide tremendous inspiration and solace, then that’s invaluable.
ANTHONY RAPP
CHAPTER THREE: WHO AM I?
| CHAPTER THREE: WHO AM I? |
The Authenticity Audit – “Truth” v Perception
INTERVIEWS NOT INCLUDED HERE (YOU’LL HAVE TO BUY THE BOOK!!!!)
ALAN CUMMING
JACK MACKENROTH
JOHN AMAECHI
JUSTIN REED EARLY
SARA DAVIS BUECHNER
SIMONE CAMPBELL
STEPHEN FRY
| THE AUTHENTICITY AUDIT“Truth” v Perception |
| Why do people accept the opinions of others about themselves as truth? Who is going to live the rest of your life anyway? Now that is TRUTH! Doug Firebaugh
|
Life can be a frustrating and challenging experience where, no matter how hard you try, whatever you desire eludes you.
Dreams of economic abundance, career satisfaction or romantic fulfillment can so easily appear unattainable when time and again your attempts are thwarted.
Whatever your frustrations or perceived failings, you should know that your life CAN be transformed and that this can be done QUICKLY and EASILY by learning that your life’s limitations are self imposed and are not controlled by external influences.
Of course we don’t choose to limit ourselves but most of us tend to make decisions based on our feelings of self worth. We have all spent years developing our self concept, subconsciously forming judgments upon our capabilities and imposing restrictions on ourselves as to what we do and do not deserve to achieve.
We even justify and rationalize these beliefs, finding evidence to confirm them, and allow ourselves to obstruct our personal or professional progress, even if our current situation is unsatisfactory and the alternative much more favorable.
In short, it is our attitudes and beliefs which inform our thoughts and it is our thoughts which determine our behavior.
It is absolutely vital to know where your beliefs have originated and to recognize where, when and in which ways these beliefs have been reinforced. Beliefs should always be disputed and should never be taken as literal truths.
The labels which we are given by others be it family, friends, colleagues, peers, the media and wider society and those which we give ourselves determine the outcomes in our lives.
I may well have been a clumsy child and even now I often have clownish catastrophes but this does not define me. Awkward adolescents needn’t grow into apprehensive adults but many do because they have not questioned the validity of the definition and with each ungraceful act, fresh evidence is collected to verify that the label is correct.
I remember returning, after many years away, to the city in which I had grown up. It had been almost 15 years and the city had physically changed a great deal but sadly the attitudes of many living there remained unaltered.
I had been living in London, Brighton, briefly in San Francisco and even more briefly in Spain but, through a series of events, unfortunate or otherwise, I had found myself back in Bonnie Scotland, at my parent’s home on the bank of the River Tay.
As you can imagine, I’d been through the usual life-altering experiences (relationships, jobs, travel and at least one immensely overwhelming tragedy) of which you’ll no doubt hear more of later and for some reason decided to visit a bar that I had gone to in my underage youth.
There I was welcomed by “Fat Bob” whose opening line was, “You’ve really put on the beef!” By which “Fat Bob” meant that I was perhaps a little more beefy, blimpy, bovine, bulging, bulky, burly or even chunky, dumpy, elephantine, gargantuan, gross, heavy, hefty, husky, lardy or meaty than he recalled. I did remind him that the last time we had met was prior to my seventeenth birthday and cream cakes and cheesy bakes can be cruel; I’d transformed from skinny vegan to slightly less slim line vegetarian.
A few days later, or perhaps that same day, I ran into someone else from my youth. Back then we had mutual friends, one in particular, so I sat with him and his gaggle of giggling girlfriends.
We spoke of our mutual friend and it soon became apparent that we had very different views on a number of issues. The subject changed, however, and, against my better judgment, I accepted a drink.
Trapped, and perhaps he felt the same, we talked about how our lives had been in the years since we had last met. As we chatted I could sense his unease and as I shared stories of the selected highlights from my strange life he reacted with judgment, jealousy and, with a raised eyebrow above a jaundiced eye, he disparagingly declared, “You’ve changed”, to which all I could retort was, “…and you haven’t”.
Please don’t think that I was intentionally cruel but, if I’m being honest, I did feel justified and even empowered by this mild statement of self recognition.
I would go so far as to say that this was a moment of epiphany from which I’ve never looked back. In this brief but meaningful interaction I realized that I HAD changed; I was no longer meek and mild or afraid to express an opinion but more confident, worldly, and yes, opinionated but at the core I was still that same 17 year old who knew right from wrong, who could instinctively detect insincerity and the really remarkable aspect of this revelation was that I actually liked myself!
The point of this story is to illustrate that the opinions of others are just that, opinions, and the labels that were attached to me, as a teenager, may or may not have been correct at the time. In believing these labels to be a true definition of myself, I acted in ways which encouraged others to similarly define me but somehow, with time and experience, I redefined myself.
My reaction to these past acquaintances sent a clear, perhaps blunt, message that I was not who they perceived me to be. I may have changed, whether this meant physically having more flesh than bone or growing a backbone but what would be the point in living if the journey didn’t involve change?
The great news is that, although we can’t undo the past, we can, however, create the future that we desire through living a life that is truly authentic. The first step towards true happiness and achieving your full potential is to acknowledge both WHO you are and WHAT it is that you want to accomplish.
Dr. Wayne W. Dyer encourages us to look inward NOT outward each day. This may sound simple, but when was the last time that you truly took time to look at yourself and to evaluate if your goals and behaviors were in line with your authentic self?
READY FOR PUBLICATION NOW
STALKING ALAN CUMMING
In what would have been Harvey Milk’s 80th year, a book celebrating his life and legacy is born.
Never Blend In: The Legacy of Harvey Milk by British writer David Watters, and with a foreword by Harvey’s nephew, Stuart Milk, is a timely and unique collection of inspirational interviews with well known and everyday people who represent the great diversity within the LGBT Community.
The research, supported by PFLAG, The Trevor Project, FFLAG (UK), The Gay Police Association (GPA) and Schools OUT (UK), investigates the disenfranchisement often felt by marginalized members of the community and offers inspiration, through interviews with positive role models, and practical guidance toward developing self-esteem.
A second book, The NBI Workbook, based on the NBI Program will also soon be completed.
Notable Voices in the book are:
Harvey Milk’s colleagues, Anne Kronenberg and Danny Nicoletta;
actors Stephen Fry, Alan Cumming and Marcus Patrick;
musician Darren Hayes (Savage Garden);
Sordid Lives writer Del Shores;
Michael Musto (Village Voice);
filmmaker, Parvez Sharma;
Calpernia Addams;
NBA star John Amaechi;
Olympic Medalists, Ji Wallace, Mark Tewksbury and Bruce Hayes
designer Jack MacKenroth,
political activist, Peter Tatchell
authors Lesléa Newman, (57 books including A Letter to Harvey Milk), Linda Goldman (Coming Out, Coming In) and Tom Rob Smith (Child 44, The Secret Speech).
A FULL ALBUM OF CONTRIBUTORS CAN BE FOUND @ http://neverblendin.wordpress.com/
Global interest already exists and I am confident that there is a large and diverse market for the book.
AMBIENTE.US, NEVER BLEND IN ARTICLES: http://www.ambiente.us/05509JohnAmaechi.html
http://www.ambiente.us/08009ChrisMason.html AND http://www.ambiente.us/04510JackMackenroth.html
POLARI ON SPRINGS ARTICLE: http://www.polarimagazine.com/?p=794
PIRATE CAT RADIO (INTERVIEW WITH CONTRIBUTOR SIMONE CAMPBELL, MARCH 2010): http://www.piratecatradio.com/
MANCHESTER MOUTH (INTERVIEW APRIL 2010): http://www.manchestermouth.co.uk/index.php?action=content&content_id=27
10thousand Couples LLC (ARTICLE MAY 2010): http://10thousandcouples.com/issue/may-2010/article/never-blend-in
INTERVIEW WITH KIERAN PROUT, ’Reporting to you from outside of the closet’: http://www.mediafire.com/?lghmymnbgan
NEVER BLEND IN IS CITED, BY ANTOINE SPITERI PhD, AS BEING LITERATURE THAT GAVE BIRTH TO GAY EXILES: http://www.antoinespiteri.com/exile.htm
Each celebrity interviewed has their own following and the name of Harvey Milk is now internationally recognized and respected through the multi award winning movie, MILK.
David Watters, a graduate of Trinity College of Music, London and the Institute of Education, University of London, has worked internationally as a singer, director and teacher for more than 20 years and has taught drama and music within socially and culturally diverse settings.
He is a personal and professional development associate with The Pacific Institute (www.pacificinstitute.co.uk), personal tutor, freelance writer and founding member of NBI Associates and Tech Queens.
David, who regularly writes for www.ambiente.us, One Nation and Polari, has been championed by Stuart Milk, nephew of Harvey Milk and Equality Advocate, who has said: “I love your work, which is vital to show the richness of embracing and celebrating our wonderful diversity. As Harvey would say, you’re bringing medicine into the world that the world needs! Thank you!”
His background in arts and education, combined with a solid understanding of CBT, and his passion for Equality Advocacy drive every aspect of his work as a personal development facilitator and a writer.
SELECTED ARTICLES:
AMBIENTE.US, NEVER BLEND IN ARTICLES: http://www.ambiente.us/05509JohnAmaechi.html
http://www.ambiente.us/08009ChrisMason.html AND http://www.ambiente.us/04510JackMackenroth.html
More information on the book and the author’s NBI Program can be found here:
http://neverblendin.wordpress.com/
Email David at: never_blend_in@rocketmail.com
TELEPHONE: 07800813189
SYNOPSIS: OVERVIEW OF CHAPTERS
NEVER BLEND IN: THE LEGACY OF HARVEY MILK
About the author
About the book
Author’s acknowledgements
FOREWORD: Written by Stuart Milk
| CHAPTER ONE: GIVE THEM HOPE |
The importance of role models for LGBT youth, the LGBT community and the wider society
|
THE IMPORTANCE OF ROLE MODELS TRISHA GODDARD ME, SUICIDAL? (Abridged) by DAVID CHAYIM STEPHANIE SILBERSTEIN INTERVIEW CHARLES ROBBINS (THE TREVOR PROJECT) JENA LEWIS ANTOINE SPITERI BS, MSc, PhD (Psychology) DR JOHN R. SHAFER GLADEANA McMAHON
|
| CHAPTER TWO: HARVEY MILK (PART ONE) |
- BIRTH IS THE BEGINNING
| CHAPTER THREE: WHO AM I? |
The Authenticity Audit – “Truth” v Perception
|
ALAN CUMMING JACK MACKENROTH JOHN AMAECHI JUSTIN REED EARLY SARA DAVIS BUECHNER SIMONE CAMPBELL STEPHEN FRY
|
| CHAPTER FOUR: WHY AM I? |
Self-Esteem and the Environment
Labels
4.1 INTERVIEWS WITH PARENTS, FAMILY & EDUCATORS
| LINDA GOLDMAN (Coming Out, Coming In)
RAYMOND & IRENE MILLER GEOFF PINE HELEN CLEWS
|
4.2 INTERVIEWS WITH FAITH CONTRIBUTORS
Reconciling faith with sexuality and gender identity
| REV. DAVID WEEKLEY
RABBI DENISE EGAR REV. JO HUDSON PARVEZ SHARMA TONY SWEET LEVI KREIS
|
CHRIS BUTLER (GCN) RICK BROWN (GCN) HANNAH GEORGE PAUL MISTY GRANDISON R.J. BROWN (SGI-UK Nichiren Daishonin Buddhist) |
4.3 INTERVIEWS WITH MEDIA CONTRIBUTORS
|
ADELE ANDERSON ARIEL APARICIO BEN PATRICK JOHNSON CALPERNIA ADDAMS CASPER ANDREAS COLTON FORD DARREN HAYES DEL SHORES ERIC HIMAN
|
JILL BENNETT JOI CARDWELL SCOTCH ELLIS LORING MARCUS PATRICK MARK BARNES MICHAEL MUSTO REED MCGOWAN RICH OVERTON |
| CHAPTER FIVE: THE DEADLIEST OF SINS |
A Cross Burning in Willacoochee
ROY KIRKLAND & DOUG SEBASTIAN
| CHAPTER SIX: HARVEY MILK (PART TWO) |
- MY NAME IS HARVEY MILK#
| CHAPTER SEVEN: WHAT DO I WANT? |
Personal or Professional Goals
| ARMANDO DIAZ
CHRIS AITCHISON CHRISTOPHER HULL DANIEL EWAN IMOGEN MANN JOEL FRAZIER, M.D. JOSHUA FENNELL JULIE NORTON KEN O’NEILL |
KEVIN FREEL
KIERAN JAMES PROUT LIZ CLARK MISAE RICHWOODS NEIL PEARSON REX CAMERON SCOTT ELLIS TERI BARKER VALDELICIO SILVA |
| CHAPTER EIGHT: WHAT’S STOPPING ME? |
Our BELIEFS, THOUGHTS and CHOICES
Self-Talk, Self-Image and Goals
Labels and Limitations
|
8.1 “GOOD SPORTS” INTERVIEWS ARDEN JOHNSON BRUCE HAYES JI WALLACE MARK TEWKSBURY
|
8.2 INTERVIEWS WITH POLICE, SOLDIERS
DIANE DOYLE J.R. CRAWFORD MICHAEL P CARNEY JIMMY ANDRUSZKEWICZ MITCHELL GROBESON KELLY REED JEFF OLSON STUART THOMAS
|
| CHAPTER NINE: HOW DO I GET IT? |
Reprogramming, visualising and taking affirmative action
- Mind Control
- Thinking Traps & Comfort Zones
- Affirmative Action
- Thinking Traps & Comfort Zones
| CHAPTER TEN: MORE GLITTER – LESS BITTER |
|
ABEL CRUZ AL PILLAY ANDREW JAMES HASLAM ARIAN LEVANAEL BRENT MARR FABRIZIO PAGAN GEORGE TOWNE GUY GUIDO |
JAMES MICHAEL MCCRACKEN JESSE ARCHER KEVIN STEA MOXY HART SCOTT CAPURRO SY BOCCARI TOM BIANCHI TOM BROOKS |
| CHAPTER ELEVEN: HARVEY MILK (PART THREE) |
- HOPE WILL NEVER BE SILENT
The enduring legacy of Harvey Milk in the words of those he knew and those whose lives he influenced.
|
STUART MILK DANNY NICOLETTA ANNE KRONENBERG TOM AMMIANO CLEVE JONES DUSTIN LANCE BLACK GUS VAN SANT SEAN PENN LESLEA NEWMAN
|
| CHAPTER TWELVE: COME OUT, COME OUT…WHEREVER YOU ARE |
Some inspiring people who walk the path that was laid by Harvey Milk and his generation.
|
ALEX RANDOLPH CHRIS MASON CLIVE HARVEY FOX EVAN WOLFSON HERB SOSA JEFF SHENG
|
JOHN R. SELIG KYLE QUANDEL MARK MACKENZIE MELISSA SUE ROBINSON PETER TATCHELL SARAV CHITHAMBARAM
|
| APPPENDIX ONE: BIOGRAPHIES OF CONTRIBUTORS
APPENDIX TWO: RESOURCES, SUPPORT & USEFUL LINKS APPENDIX THREE: GLOSSARY OF TERMS |
| APPENDIX FOUR: INTRODUCING THE NBI WORKBOOK
|
| INTRODUCING THE NBI WORKBOOK |
|
Did anyone ever tell you that you have unending potential?
Even if they did, did you believe them? |
Do you always miss out on that promotion at work? Is dating disastrous and do your romantic relationships derail? Does this sound familiar?!
So often, and this is not uncommon, people start with the premise that something is impossible to achieve, that things won’t go their way and that these negative outcomes are predetermined.
Well, of course they are predetermined! Not because these people are undeserving losers but because their inner dialogue is telling them that they will fail and this is outwardly reflected in their words and actions.
Wasn‘t it Henry Ford who famously said, “”Whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t, you’re right.”?
Many of us feel trapped in circumstances which make us unhappy or unfulfilled but resign ourselves to thinking that we are unworthy of more.
If the decisions that you are making – accepting an abusive relationship for example – are not bringing you happiness then you need to take a look at your self-concept. The belief that an abusive alliance is what you deserve, whether this be a bullying parent, partner, peer, spouse or a domineering work colleague, needs to be addressed.
|
Our BELIEFS inform our THOUGHTS, which in turn inform our CHOICES |
Understanding the origin of your BELIEFS, challenging their accuracy and redefining those which are creating limiting THOUGHTS will empower and enable you to make CHOICES to say and do only those things which bring you closer to emotional, intellectual and spiritual fulfilment.
Since childhood, we have been conditioned to see the world and ourselves in terms of the attitudes and beliefs of those around us. The influence of parents and family in the early years has an immense and so often underestimated impact on the developing identity. We learn from their example and, as the first models of attitude and behaviour that we encounter, they have a moral obligation to offer a balanced view of the world and our place in it.
What this program does is to give you the tools to understand how self esteem determines the path you will take but that life need not be a self fulfilling prophecy when you improve your self-concept, drive out fear and embrace new challenges as opportunities to learn and grow, eliminate self imposed limitations and cease dependence on others to provide validity
INDEX
ABOUT THE BOOK
Never Blend In: The Legacy of Harvey Milk
by David Watters
Never Blend In: The Legacy of Harvey Milk is a unique collection of inspirational interviews with well known and everyday people who represent the great diversity within the LGBT Community.
The research, supported by PFLAG and The Trevor Project, FFLAG (UK), The Gay Police Association (GPA) and Schools OUT (UK), tackles the issue of teenage suicide and the disenfranchisement often felt by LGBT youth.
Role models from education, entertainment, law enforcement, medical and emergency services, politics, religion and sports have participated in this accessible and much needed discourse to illuminate the reader’s journey of self-discovery and self- efficacy.
Some of those included in the book are Alan Cumming, John Amaechi, Calpernia Addams, Stephen Fry, Darren Hayes, Parvez Sharma, Harvey Milk colleagues Anne Kronenberg & Danny Nicoletta and a foreword by his nephew Stuart Milk.
Openly LGBT and successful role model figures can play an enormous part in highlighting the wealth of possibilities available to young people. These people, who are successfully modelling admirable qualities and character traits such as determination, diligence, vision and consistent effort, can only serve to inspire and encourage the younger generation, or anyone questioning their validity, to lead a balanced, fulfilling and dignified life.
Each chapter is prefaced with sound advice and guidance on how self-worth determines potential.
Life need not be a self-fulfilling prophecy and by recognising that our “truth” has been shaped through our relationships, our environment and our experiences, we can begin to change our perceptions, heighten our self-esteem and move toward our personal and professional goals with clear vision and purpose.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000924072854#!/group.php?gid=106980051654&ref=mf
For young people coming to terms with their sexuality it’s really important that they have positive, high achieving role models as a way of boosting their self esteem and confidence. This kind of book shares the experience of a very diverse group of LGBT people. Individual and collective experience offers the inspiration and motivation for LGBT people to do something worthwhile with their lives and live their dream.
Peter Tatchell
There are two ways you can approach not fitting in. If you get to see it as a blessing, feeling like an Outsider can eventually give you the freedom and license to create your own world, follow your own goals, make your own reality. I’ve always thought it must be a lot harder for those who effortlessly belong – how much stronger the temptation to just blend in and be a non-questioning sheep! Yes, there is pain. Feelings of rejection, confusion, self-doubt. But think of those negatives in a positive light: you have the chance to acquire resilience, fortitude, understanding and the realisation but you have one life to live, so you absolutely have the right to live it your way!
It’s no shame to get help and inspiration from others, which is why David Watters ‘Never Blend In’ is so timely.
Trisha Goddard
“I love your work which is vital to show the richness of embracing and celebrating our wonderful diversity. As Harvey would say, you’re bringing medicine into the world that the world needs! Thank You!”
Role models are described as those individuals who we ‘aspire to’ and who provide strong and achievable targets that we can emulate in pursuit of our career or personal aims. This book breaks down the common stereotypes of gay people and unveils a more realistic perspective, chronicling the success of many gay role models that others aspire to.
In “Never Blend In” David Watters has brought together a number of role models in one publication featuring successful gay artists, scientists and entrepreneurs, who share their experiences and take you on their journey. These are men and women with whom you can relate, whose stories will inspire and motivate you and leave you ready to move forward, both personally and professionally.
Be inspired by the successful members of the gay community; real men and women. Read about the challenges they faced along the way, what helped to keep them going, and what it takes to make a small business, a life, a success.
This book illustrates the breadth and creativity of gays everywhere. It is a pioneering work and the success stories of inspirational gay role models from a wide variety of backgrounds should be made available in every library, every school. These are men and women you can aspire to but who have all shown just what it takes to become a role model – determination, courage and an unwavering desire to succeed.
“Never Blend In” brings you some amazing candidates all of whom have succeeded in very different ways. They each have inspiring stories to tell about their achievements and future ambitions, yet I noticed they all had one thing in common they were passionate about what they did.
So in reality gays are still struggling for acceptance and to reach the top of the ladder. However, I think for the gay who enters the celebrity arena or who decides to do his/her own thing - they no longer have to do it at the expense of their happiness- they can do things on their own terms. For many it will provide them with the work/ life balance that wasn’t available for them in the past. It’s vital we have gays in big business and we need more gays to be there. I think companies need to realise they can’t operate without gays. But they do need to provide the very thing we all tend to take for granted – the basic right of being given the same opportunities and earning power as str8 men. We are mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, lovers, friends. We are like you.
ANTOINE SPITERI
Anthony Spiteri, BS, MSc, PhD (Psychology)
The book NEVER BLEND IN is a provocative look into the lives of successful people who live in a world where the odds are stacked against us. It is important to give hope to the younger generation with diverse sexual orientations to see that we can be happy, healthy, and successful players in this game we call life. I hope by telling my story in this book, I can, in some small way, make life easier for those who march to the beat of a different drum. I am a rebel with a cause…you can either march with me, or step out of my way.
I am excited to order several copies of your book and share them with friends and family as gifts. I may try to use it with one of my classes that I teach at my college on the psychology of diversity.
DR JOHN R. SHAFER, Director of the Counseling Center and Professor at Franklin College of Indiana, President, Shafer Consulting Services
“Never Blend In,” is so absolutely crucial to our very survival. For when we first discovered our difference, we believed we were alone. This is why statistically, gay teen suicide attempts are four times that of heterosexual youth, and for every completed suicide by a gay youth, there are between 100-200 attempts that are made by other gay teens. Astoundingly, one-third of ALL teenagers who commit suicide do so because they are gay. In America, we have had as many as 11 teenagers a day commit suicide due to their sexual orientation! “Never Blend In” provides a guiding light for all LGBT people (in fact, for all non-LGBT people as well) because it demonstrates that not only are you not alone, but that you too can rise to attain your most desired dreams. There is nothing and no one that can hold you back. Harvey Milk paved the way for us all to be able to be ourselves and to simultaneously provide a role model for others. Whether you are the parent, uncle, or cousin of a gay child, or friend of a gay adult, the stories presented here give a unique insight into the relationships we cherish. You do not need to be gay to be inspired by the lives of these amazing heroes, whose stories are told, often for the first and only time, in “Never Blend In.”
MITCHELL GROBESON
This book is crucially important because we need to continually shed light on the struggles and adversity facing the LGBT community. We can never become complacent in our fight for equal rights and we need to remember the trailblazers who ignited the spark for the flame of progress that burns today. As role models following in the legacy of others like Harvey Milk, we need to stand as proud confident people and continue to broaden the path of acceptance for those that follow us.
JACK MACKENROTH
NEVER BLEND IN
A PRO-EQUALITY BLOG, written by Diversity Specialist, writer and motivational speaker David E Watters (NBI ASSOCIATES).
Articles on Equality & Diversity, Personal & Professional Development, Education & Management; his book, NEVER BLEND IN (http://www.nbiassociates.co.uk/Never-Blend-In.html), and the Give 'em Hope Campaign http://www.nbiassociates.co.uk/Give--em-Hope-Campaign.html)
EMAIL: DavidWatters@nbiassociates.co.uk
SKYPE: never.blend.in
