GIVE ‘EM HOPE CAMPAIGN: FTM Resource Guide

A resource for those who identify as male but are viewed by the world as female.

This clash in how we see ourselves and how we are perceived by others is a painful and challenging experience for many. Fortunately there is growing awareness and understanding of the transgender experience. There are numerous resources available and groups which exist to support and advise, to guide and validate your experience. Above all, even if you feel like the only FTM or F2M in your village, you are not alone.

This is not an exhaustive resource and I would be extremely grateful for any further links, particularly for young transmen.

Jack Ori
http://www.ftmcoachjack.com/aboutjackori/

 

Thanks and respect to my friend Jack Ori, for his incredible work in this area and particularly for his consistent support for our Give ‘em Hope family.

Jack Ori is a motivational life coach and writer serving the LGBT and autism communities, with a special focus on transgender people, people with Aspergers syndrome and their families. He has a Masters in creative writing from the University of Southern California and a Bachelors in psychology from Pitzer College; Jack supplements his formal education with life experiences in order to help you look deeper into yourself and find ways to live that work for you.

Jack says, “I work with people in the transgender and aspergers communities and their parents to help facilitate communication and to help them find answers to their problems and experience greater joy”.

Check out his website: http://ftmcoachjack.com

This article extract is highly recommended for those who are struggling to find a way to “come out” to parents. Read this short introduction and click the link to go to Jack’s full, informative article.

Coming Out to Your Parents

Every aspect of the coming out process can help you feel relieved because you are no longer carrying as heavy a secret; in addition, coming out can help you feel more visible and less alone. Many transgender people are eager to come out to their families because they long for the recognition and love for their real selves that they have never fully felt.  Others are reluctant to do so because they are pretty sure the reaction will be negative or they feel too fragile to handle parental rejection. Coming out to your parents is an intensely personal choice; there is no one decision that fits all transgender people and their families. If you’re considering coming out, there are certain things to consider.

To read the rest of this article, please visit Deciding to Come Out To Your Parents

 

 

Information for Family, Partners, Friends, and Allies

In this video eight families with transgender and gender non-conforming children ranging in ages from 5 to 25 share their stories. With the healthy development of their children at stake, parents must confront binary perceptions of gender, widespread transphobia and controversial parenting decisions.

 

 

 

TransFamily

www.transfamily.org
TransFamily is a support group for transgender and transsexual people, their parents, partners, children, other family members, friends, and supportive others. They provide referrals, literature, and over-the-phone information on all transgender issues.

Mermaids

www.mermaids.freeuk.com
A family support group in the UK for children and teenagers with gender issues. Has a medical section and an intersex medical section, advice to parents, writings of young people, coming out stories of young people, and a list of links of young trans people.

FTM Trans SOFFAs

groups.yahoo.com/group/FtM-trans-SOFFAs
This group is for SOFFAs (Significant Others, Friends, Family of FTMs: husbands, wives, partners, children, teens, siblings, boyfriends, girlfriends, lovers, friends and other allies). It is an unmoderated and relatively open group. All referred by FtM-trans moderator are welcome, as are lovers and allies from other lists, all subject to moderator approval. The object is support, friendship, and the open exchange of information.

Straight Men, FTM/GQ Partners

groups.yahoo.com/group/str8menftmpartner
This group is for straight or straightish non-trans male partners of FTMs, trans men, FTV/FCDs, and malewards-vectored genderqueer folk. This group is designed to fill a gap in support for the partners of transfolk and to be comfortable for straight non-trans guys to talk about how their partners’ gender identities and expressions affect them. You belong here if: you are a straight or mostly straight non-trans guy, and your female-assigned partner isn’t totally comfortable identifying or presenting as female.

The Boyz Club

groups.yahoo.com/group/TheBoyzClub-FtM-trans-SOFFAS/
This list is for male partners/lovers/boyfriends of (FtM) men, including those FtMs living with or otherwise involved with other FtMs. Poly, B*DSM and other alternative relationships supported. ‘PC’ attitudes not required. Basically, just a list for men in love with other men, FtM or not, but list is FtM-oriented. Women not excluded but list is primarily for males in relationships, including friendships, with FtMs and seeking support from like-minded persons.

 

 

From Hudson’s FTM Resource Guide

http://www.ftmguide.org/

 

ABOUT THIS GUIDE

This Guide is intended to provide information on topics of interest to female-to-male (FTM, F2M) trans men, and their friends and loved ones. Non-trans men have also found the pages on men’s grooming and clothing to be helpful. Transsexual, non-transsexual, intersex, transgender, genderqueer, questioning, and “just plain folks” are all welcome.

TESTOSTERONE

Bioidentical Testosterone

Hormones and the Body: A Brief Overview

FTM Testosterone Therapy Basics

Testosterone Types and Delivery

FTM Testosterone Therapy and General Health

Myths and Misconceptions about Testosterone, Transition, and Trans Men

Compounding Pharmacies

PRESENTING AS MALE

Swimming and Locker Room Tips for Trans Men

Binding: Creating a Male-Appearing Chest

Packing: Creating a Realistic Bulge 

Packing Hard: Prosthetic Devices for Sex Play

Bathroom Use & Stand-to-Pee (STP) Devices

GROOMING

Men’s Short Haircuts and the Barber Shop

Facial Hair: Growth and Grooming

All About Shaving (Tips and Tools)

Dealing with Acne and Other Skin Breakouts

Male Pattern Hair Loss: Information and Treatment Options

SURGERY

FTM Chest Reconstruction Surgeries (includes Spanish translation link)

Hysterectomy/Oophorectomy

FTM Genital Reconstruction Surgeries (GRS) (includes Spanish translation link)

CLOTHING

Men’s Shoes in Small Sizes and Lift Shoes

Men’s Clothing for Short and Small Guys

Suits and Ties for the Beginner

RESOURCES

FTM Books (FTM and transgender titles, as well as men’s topics such as shaving, barbering, and style)

FTM Related Links

MISCELLANEOUS

FTM Basics: Terminology

Further Useful links:

FTM Information Sites
FTM and Trans Conferences
FTM and Trans Men’s Organizations
Trans Men’s Health Links 
FTM Surgery Resources
Trans Legal Information
Information for Family, Partners, Friends, and Allies
FTM Dating Resources
General Trans Information/Organizations (not FTM-specific)
Miscellaneous

TrevorSpace: A Lifeline for LGBT and Questioning youth

 

I CAN’T RECOMMEND THIS RESOURCE HIGHLY ENOUGH.

TrevorSpace is a social networking site for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth ages 13 through 24 and their friends and allies.

http://www.trevorspace.org/

Use TrevorSpace to:

1. 1.     Connect with other young people throughout the country.
2. 2.     Make new friends.
3. 3.     Find support.
4. 4.     Learn how to get involved in your local LGBTQ community.
5. 5.     Keep abreast of news pertaining to LGBTQ youth.

Join now and start building your community of friends! It’s free! And we don’t send spam or give your email address to anyone ever!

TrevorSpace is a monitored site.

See also: FTM London

http://www.ftmlondon.org.uk/

FTM London started in 1997 as a peer support group for female to male transgender or transsexual people.

Today we are a diverse and exciting group that continues to offer much needed support as well as information, resources and friendly networking for the FTM community. We work to alleviate the isolation that can be felt around gender identity issues.

We are comprised of trans guys, genderqueer people, and all those who were assigned female at birth and are questioning their gender identity.  Although based in central London, many attend our meetings from further afield. We are one of the largest face to face groups of our kind in the country.

We’re here to meet the needs of our members and attendees. The meetings are in large part a chance to hang out with other trans people, have a cuppa and a chin wag.  We offer peer support, information and literature as well as regular guest speakers who are experts in gender identity issues and trans culture.

want to get in touch? 
If you feel like FTM London might be a good place for you, why not pop down to our next meeting, check out our website, give us a buzz or send us an email?

send them an email

f2mlondon@hotmail.com
give them a call

07948 250 778

or write to them

FTM LONDON

BCM FTM LONDON

LONDON

WC1N 3XX

This resource was created by David E Watters

David Watters, a graduate of Napier University, Edinburgh, Trinity College of Music, London and the Institute of Education, University of London, has worked internationally within education and Educational Management for more than 20 years.

He has taught extensively within many socially and culturally diverse settings; most recently as a Head of Performing Arts within Further Education.

He is a personal and professional development associate with The Pacific Institute (www.pacificinstitute.co.uk), personal coach, freelance writer and founding member of NBI Associates.

He is a writer on social equality issues, is a key player in the Equal Love Campaign UK and author of the forthcoming book, NEVER BLEND IN which features key voices from the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender community and which aims to inspire and encourage those who may lack self-esteem or who question their validity.

David is currently promoting a youtube campaign“Give ‘em Hope”and is asking individuals, couples and groups to make and share videos telling about the benefits of living with personal authenticity.

He has shared a platform with Stuart Milk and Peter Tatchell and is a supporter of 17-24-30, The Trevor Project, Schools Out, The Terrence Higgins Trust, The Albert Kennedy Trust and The Harvey Milk Foundation.

His background in arts and education, combined with a solid understanding of Cognitive Behavioural Strategies, and his passion for Equality Advocacy drive every aspect of his work as a personal development facilitator, motivational speaker and writer.

A Reflection on Self Harm and Suicide: A Personal Experience

NOTE: No copyright infringement intended. I am posting this FROM TrevorSpace http://www.trevorspace.org/ as a means to promote the incredible work of the Trevor Project

A reflection on Self Harm and Suicide: A personal Experience by Ernesto Quiroz

“Even in the darkest places you can find happiness. You just have to remember to turn on the light” (bonus points if you know who said this and in what movie)

September 6-12th was National Suicide Prevention Week. For many it was just another week, but for some this is more significant that: For some of it brings back the memories of our own attempt at ending our lives. For some of us, this is a reminder of the self-harm that we have inflicted. For some of us, this is a reminder of the friends we have lost. For some of us, this is a reminder of the pain that took us to these places.

The World Health Organization (WHO) states that suicide is the third leading cause of death among 15 to 30 year olds worldwide. They estimate that in the year 2020, approximately 1.5 million youth and adults will die from suicide. That is one person every 20 seconds and one attempt every 1-2 seconds worldwide.

WHO estimates that each year 200,000 young people (ages 15-30) attempt to take their lives worldwide. A survey by WHO of youth in grades 9-12 in public and private schools in the United States found that 15% of students reported seriously considering suicide, 11% created a plan, and 7% tried to take their own life in the 12 months preceding the survey.

What do these numbers mean? On average in an ordinary U.S. high school classroom of 30, five classmates have seriously considered suicide, three have created a plan, and two have tried to take their lives. Think about the people you see everyday–the people you care about–and think about those numbers.

I know that I shouldn’t be categorizing self-harm and suicide in the same sentence, since they are both very different actions and usually are results of very different catalysts so I wont try to address those issues here. (I plan to write about those later)

So, why, if this is happening so much and so many youth are dealing with issues around suicide, are we not talking about it more? The discussion around these issues needs to increase. Why is it still taboo? So often we fail to bring awareness to find possible solutions that can save lives. It’s still taboo for me to bring up the subject in a class of my peers, or in casual conversation with my friends? Why is it so difficult for youth to “come out” about their own experiences with self harm? Why isn’t this something that we are talking about? What keeps us silent?

Stigma,

Stigma has kept me from talking about my own experiences for years. It’s distressing to think that even though we queer folk consider ourselves (for the most part) liberal, broadminded and open yet cannot come together as a community.

As we struggle to find a place in society we further separate those closest to us by ostracizing those folks who most need us.

I know I may sound like a hypocrite, considering the fact that I too attempted to take my own life and for a number of months used self harm to deal with the emotions I was going through. I only recently realized that the reason I continued to do so and not ask for help was because I didn’t think it was appropriate to talk about what I was going through. I was already a triple minority being an immigrant queer youth of color and felt that this would only serve to further ostracize me from my peers– when the only thing I wanted was to blend in. Self harm and suicide was always talked about in such a judgmental way, and people always felt pity for characters on TV or in movies that were dealing with these issues. I never wanted my peers to pity me and so I was forced to keep my self-harm a secret.

The only person that I ever told in high school was a friend who was going to commit suicide with me. Thinking about it now, the idea of forming a suicide pact, is disturbing. Frightening that at such a young age I was willing to do something so drastic. It remains just a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Just this past month, one of my friends came to me to talk about their own issues with suicide. He felt so much pain and embarrassment when telling me that he started to cry. Mind you, this is a person that I have been a friend with for a long time. We had talked about everything from foursquare to foursomes, French fries to fisting and everything in between. Yet he couldn’t talk to me about his own thoughts of self-harm and suicide.

The truth is there are many people that go through this. I have spoken to so many young people that feel like they are the only one. (Remember: five in a classroom of 30!). What’s even more surprising is the fact that most of the youth that I have spoken with are not even “the ones” you would think would want to take their lives. They are youth that from the outside, look completely happy, that should feel happy with all the things they have, all the potential they possess–yet are contemplating and attempting suicide.

There really is no way to know if someone is having suicidal thoughts, unless they actually tell you. Just like “gaydar” doesn’t exist; there is no real way to know for sure whether someone is thinking about suicide.

There are, however, some signs that you can look for if you think someone is at risk or is dealing with these issues:

§ A previous suicide attempt 

§ Current talk of suicide or making a plan

§ Strong wish to die or a preoccupation with death

§ Giving away prized possessions

§ Signs of depression, such as moodiness, hopelessness, withdrawal

§ Increased alcohol and/or other drug use

§ Hinting at not being around in the future or saying good-bye

These warning signs are especially noteworthy in light of:

§ A recent death or suicide of a friend or family member

§ A recent break-up with a boyfriend or girlfriend, or conflict with parents

§ News reports of other suicides by young people in the same school or community

Other key risk factors include:

§ Readily accessible firearms

§ Impulsiveness and taking unnecessary risks

§ Lack of connection to family and friends (no one to talk to)

(Source:Safeyouth.Org)

Just because someone displays one or a few of these signs does not mean that they want or are planning to commit suicide. Sometimes you might see all of these signs, and sometimes you may not see any at all. The biggest factor might be a drastic change in attitude or character.

For instance, there are some weeks when I distance myself from peers, because we all need some space from time to time. And, that is okay. We may not always have the right answers for how to help someone, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try. For me, all it took was someone asking how I was doing. All it took a role model reaffirming me that everything would be okay and that there were solutions to the feelings I was having. It only took one person showing they really cared to keep me from taking my own life.

For GLBTQ youth who are more likely to experience depression and rejection by friends and/or family, acceptance and understanding can be a matter of life and death. The risk of suicide in GLBTQ young people is two to three times greater than in their straight counterparts. We all may feel down and depressed at time. It’s perfectly normal to experience sadness and isolation. It’s natural for someone to withdraw from society when these feelings are had, but it is important to take ourselves out of this isolation. We also must reach out and affirm the feelings that youth (and adults) in depression are feeling.

So what can we do to save some of these lives?

1. TALK ABOUT IT,

2. Stop making fun of/poking jokes at self-harm so that others can talk about it.

3. Pass legislation to protect school youth from harassment.

4. Donate (Time, Money, Resources etc.) to organizations that save lives like The Trevor Project and Advocates for Youth.

Additional Sources and Statistics

dianedew.com/suistats.htm

ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1489848/

cdc.gov/ncipc/dvp/suicide/youthsuicide.htm

Safeyouth.Org

 

I CAN’T RECOMMEND THIS RESOURCE HIGHLY ENOUGH. PLEASE SHARE TODAY AND HELP OUR YOUTH TO FIND THE SUPPORT THAT THEY MAY NEED. 

TrevorSpace is a social networking site for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth ages 13 through 24 and their friends and allies. 
http://www.trevorspace.org/

Use TrevorSpace to: 
Connect with other young people throughout the country.
Make new friends.
Find support.
Learn how to get involved in your local LGBTQ community.
Keep abreast of news pertaining to LGBTQ youth.
Join now and start building your community of friends! It’s free! And we don’t send spam or give your email address to anyone ever! 

TrevorSpace is a monitored site.

TrevorSpace: A Lifeline for LGBT and Questioning youth

I CAN’T RECOMMEND THIS RESOURCE HIGHLY ENOUGH.

PLEASE SHARE TODAY AND HELP OUR YOUTH TO FIND THE SUPPORT THAT THEY MAY NEED.

 

TrevorSpace is a social networking site for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth ages 13 through 24 and their friends and allies.

http://www.trevorspace.org/

 

Use TrevorSpace to:

1. Connect with other young people throughout the country.
2. Make new friends.
3. Find support.
4. Learn how to get involved in your local LGBTQ community.
5. Keep abreast of news pertaining to LGBTQ youth.
6. Join now and start building your community of friends! It’s free! And we don’t send spam or give your email address to anyone ever!

TrevorSpace is a monitored site.

 

 

 

For those seeking immediate help, please visit TheTrevorHelpline.orgor call The Trevor Helpline, toll-free, 24/7 at 866.4.U.TREVOR.