By Amy Hewitt Bonin
I was inspired to write this, because an old high school friend of mine is having facebook issues with people she was friends with in high school.
In high school, she was popular. She was in the crowd that everyone wanted to be in, and if you weren’t in that crowd, then you were pretty much a nobody. At least that’s how I felt. She and I were neighbors, and outside of school, we hung out, but NEVER during school because I was not the person that the clique wanted to associate with. This was an unspoken rule between us, and neither of us fought it. We just let it slide by and after school and in the summer, we were the best of friends.
We have befriended one another here, and we have learned a lot about each other. I learned that being the popular kid wasn’t as easy as it seemed. In order to be in that specific group, you had to adhere to their rules. There were certain days you could wear jeans, make-up had to be worn, the girls would call each other and make sure they were color coordinated, if you spoke to someone out of the group, you would be outcast, and you had to behave in such a way as to not embarrass the clique as a whole. I had no idea that this was going on within the group.
From an observer, all you saw were these happy care-free girls and boys who were ALL good-looking, into sports and everyone wanted to be like them.
She and I are friends here on facebook, and we have gotten reacquainted. We have spoken about those rules, and the fact that she and I didn’t have a relationship within the school building. She has apologized profusely, and things between us are just fine. Bygones are bygones…why hold onto something that was over 20 years ago, and was so petty?
However, she is having issues with those same people, here on facebook.
They are talking about her behind her back, and she is having issues with it. I believe (and I told her this on her public wall) that the reason this is happening, is because she is her own person now, and is not attached to any sort of order or rule. She is acting differently than she acted in high school because she is acting as HERSELF with no restrictions. They don’t seem to get it…and are criticising her for being “weird” or “goofy.” – what the hell is that all about???
I swear. People can be so damned stupid. ignorant and petty and just plain selfish. High school wasn’t that great, if you ask me. There is life BEYOND the walls of a school building, you know. This friend of mine is beautiful, married and has a son. She has a great life, but because she is not acting like they remembered her to act in high school, they are making fun of her? Seriously?
Listen up. To any of you who are still in high school, remember this.
Life is about the friendships you make, and the stamp you put on this world. It’s not about how many friends you can make, and how popular you become. Life isn’t about popularity at all. I would rather have just a few amazing friends (ones whom I could really rely on, trust and have fun with), then a million acquaintances that wouldn’t give a damn if I got hit by a bus.
There’s a famous quote from the movie, “Never Been Kissed” – (One of my favorite movies) which I think pretty much sums it all up.
Let me tell you something, I don’t care about being your stupid prom queen. I’m 25 years old. I’m an undercover reporter for the Chicago Sun Times and I’ve been beating my brains out trying to impress you people. Let me tell you something Gibby, Kirsten, Kristin, you will spend your lives trying to keep others down because it makes you feel more important. Why her? Let me tell you about this girl she is unbelievable. I was new here and she befriended me no questions asked. But you, you were only my friend after my brother, Rob, posed as a student and told you to like me. All of you people, there is a big world out there… bigger than prom, bigger than high school and it won’t matter if you were the prom queen, the quarterback of the football team, or the biggest nerd in school. Find out who you are and try not to be afraid of it.”
FIND OUT WHO YOU ARE, AND TRY NOT TO BE AFRAID OF IT.
So…my point is that I could care less if my true friends were; poor, rich, ugly, beautiful, skinny, fat, black, white, mixed, gay, straight, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, weird, silly, or anything from a whole plethora of adjectives. I would only care if they were my friend, I trusted them, they trusted me, and we had a bond.
Why does any of that other stuff matter???? It doesn’t. Figure that out, and you will be a lot happier within yourself. Trust me.
Thanks for listening to the rant….
~Amy Hewitt Bonin~
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