Being Popular – A Give ’em Hope Message from Amy


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By Amy Hewitt Bonin

I was inspired to write this, because an old high school friend of mine is having facebook issues with people she was friends with in high school.

In high school, she was popular.  She was in the crowd that everyone wanted to be in, and if you weren’t in that crowd, then you were pretty much a nobody.  At least that’s how I felt.  She and I were neighbors, and outside of school, we hung out, but NEVER during school because I was not the person that the clique wanted to associate with.  This was an unspoken rule between us, and neither of us fought it.  We just let it slide by and after school and in the summer, we were the best of friends.

We have befriended one another here, and we have learned a lot about each other.  I learned that being the popular kid wasn’t as easy as it seemed.  In order to be in that specific group, you had to adhere to their rules.  There were certain days you could wear jeans, make-up had to be worn, the girls would call each other and make sure they were color coordinated, if you spoke to someone out of the group, you would be outcast, and you had to behave in such a way as to not embarrass the clique as a whole.  I had no idea that this was going on within the group.

From an observer, all you saw were these happy care-free girls and boys who were ALL good-looking, into sports and everyone wanted to be like them.

She and I are friends here on facebook, and we have gotten reacquainted.  We have spoken about those rules, and the fact that she and I didn’t have a relationship within the school building.  She has apologized profusely, and things between us are just fine.  Bygones are bygones…why hold onto something that was over 20 years ago, and was so petty?

However, she is having issues with those same people, here on facebook.

They are talking about her behind her back, and she is having issues with it.  I believe (and I told her this on her public wall) that the reason this is happening, is because she is her own person now, and is not attached to any sort of order or rule.  She is acting differently than she acted in high school because she is acting as HERSELF with no restrictions.  They don’t seem to get it…and are criticising her for being “weird” or “goofy.” – what the hell is that all about???

I swear.  People can be so damned stupid. ignorant and petty and just plain selfish.  High school wasn’t that great, if you ask me.  There is life BEYOND the walls of a school building, you know. This friend of mine is beautiful, married and has a son.  She has a great life, but because she is not acting like they remembered her to act in high school, they are making fun of her?  Seriously?

Listen up.  To any of you who are still in high school, remember this.

Life is about the friendships you make, and the stamp you put on this world.  It’s not about how many friends you can make, and how popular you become.  Life isn’t about popularity at all.  I would rather have just a few amazing friends (ones whom I could really rely on, trust and have fun with), then a million acquaintances that wouldn’t give a damn if I got hit by a bus.

There’s a famous quote from the movie, “Never Been Kissed” – (One of my favorite movies) which I think pretty much sums it all up.

Let me tell you something, I don’t care about being your stupid prom queen. I’m 25 years old. I’m an undercover reporter for the Chicago Sun Times and I’ve been beating my brains out trying to impress you people. Let me tell you something Gibby, Kirsten, Kristin, you will spend your lives trying to keep others down because it makes you feel more important. Why her? Let me tell you about this girl she is unbelievable. I was new here and she befriended me no questions asked. But you, you were only my friend after my brother, Rob, posed as a student and told you to like me. All of you people, there is a big world out there… bigger than prom, bigger than high school and it won’t matter if you were the prom queen, the quarterback of the football team, or the biggest nerd in school. Find out who you are and try not to be afraid of it.”

FIND OUT WHO YOU ARE, AND TRY NOT TO BE AFRAID OF IT.

So…my point is that I could care less if my true friends were; poor, rich, ugly, beautiful, skinny, fat, black, white, mixed, gay, straight, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, weird, silly, or anything from a whole plethora of adjectives.  I would only care if they were my friend, I trusted them, they trusted me, and we had a bond.

Why does any of that other stuff matter????  It doesn’t.  Figure that out, and you will be a lot happier within yourself.  Trust me.

Thanks for listening to the rant….

~Amy Hewitt Bonin~

 

 

HELLO LOVELY PEOPLE! How are you today? Keep sharing and supporting. Respect to you for being here. Still time to vote for us in the National Diversity Awards https://nominate.nationaldiversityawards.co.uk/nominate/endorse/12593

 

WHAT IS THE GIVE ‘EM HOPE CAMPAIGN?

 

 

Stage One – The Give ‘em Hope Campaign is an inclusive and inspirational celebration of diversity; an online video initiative to encourage and uplift those who feel marginalised, isolated or limited by labels. We exist to bring hope to those who need it most and do so by sharing our stories.

 

The campaign was founded by David E Watters in early 2011 and has grown, with the support of numerous international cheerleaders and proactive participants.

 

All of our videos can be found on our youtube channel.

 

THE NBI ASSOCIATES YOUTUBE CHANNEL CAN BE FOUND BY CLICKING ON THE LINK HERE:

http://www.youtube.com/user/NBIassociates?feature=mhee

 

Stage Two – has included written stories of HOPE from those who have freed themselves from limiting labels and who can now celebrate their individuality.

 

Write your story or make and send your video to: DavidWatters@nbiassociates.co.uk

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXHzwFZ9yuI

 

SHARE YOUR STORY AND HAVE IT SHOWN ON:

 

THE NBI ASSOCIATES YOUTUBE PAGE: NBIassociateshttp://www.youtube.com/user/NBIassociates?feature=mhee

 

NBI WORDPRESS: https://neverblendin.wordpress.com/category/give-em-hope-campaign-nbi-associates/

 

THE NBI ASSOCIATES/ GIVE ‘EM HOPE WEBSITE:

http://www.nbiassociates.co.uk/Give–em-Hope-Campaign.html

 

Stage Three – is the living family support network which flourishes on facebook. Both the group and sister page are staffed by an international team of compassionate administrators, of diverse backgrounds, who provide unrivalled support and guidance.

 

JOIN THE “Give ‘em Hope” GROUP ON FACEBOOK:

http://www.facebook.com/groups/226577107352368

 

COME AND VISIT OUR SISTER PAGE:https://www.facebook.com/GIVEemHOPE

 

 

 

 

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About neverblendin

David Watters, a graduate of Napier University, Edinburgh, Trinity College of Music, London and the Institute of Education, University of London, has worked internationally within education and Educational Management for more than 20 years. He has taught extensively within many socially and culturally diverse settings; most recently as a Head of Performing Arts within Further Education. He is a personal and professional development associate with The Pacific Institute (www.pacificinstitute.co.uk), personal coach, freelance writer and founding member of NBI Associates. He is a writer on social equality issues, is a key player in the Equal Love Campaign UK and author of the forthcoming book, NEVER BLEND IN which features key voices from the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender community and which aims to inspire and encourage those who may lack self-esteem or who question their validity. David is currently promoting a youtube campaign"Give 'em Hope"and is asking individuals, couples and groups to make and share videos telling about the benefits of living with personal authenticity. He has shared a platform with Stuart Milk and Peter Tatchell and is a supporter of 17-24-30, The Trevor Project, Schools Out, The Terrence Higgins Trust, The Albert Kennedy Trust and numerous others. His background in arts and education, combined with a solid understanding of Cognitive Behavioural Strategies, and his passion for Equality Advocacy drive every aspect of his work as a personal development facilitator, motivational speaker and writer. View all posts by neverblendin

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