EYE WITNESS NEWS: In these times of austerity, even Santa has been on his uppers with striking elves and a pending divorce from Mrs. Claus on the cards. With no one to help make toys for the needy (greedy) children, and not wanting to let his believers down, Mr. Claus has resorted to a life of crime and was yesterday arrested when caught shoplifting at TOYS R US in Croydon, South London. At this time there has been no comment from future ex-wife Mrs. Claus but it is reported that prior to the arrest of her husband she had been pimped out as a HO HO HO in an attempt to raise cash for the struggling family. More news soon…(report from David E Watters)
November 14, 2015
EYEWITNESS ON CHRISTMAS CRIME
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