NEVER BLEND IN – Lose the Label if it’s Limiting YOU – Part Two of a Series by D.C Vickers


The Early Years…

Perhaps this bit should have the heading “I’m Not Like The Other Boys…”.

 

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I have absolutely no idea why, at the age of around 4 years old, I tried on a pair of knickers. I didn’t know then what a profound impact that single action would have upon my life, the feelings of guilt, paranoia and confusion, the visits to doctors, psychologists and psychiatrists, the breakdown of a marriage… but I’m getting ahead of myself.

I was born at the end of the Sixties, and by the mid-Seventies I was already raiding my mothers wardrobe for skirts and tops that I could wear, and I’d take underwear from the airing cupboard whenever I was alone in the 1930’s built semi-detached house that we lived in, in Watford. I’d come back home from school (which was later demolished to make way for a new housing estate) and close the curtains so I could dress up without any passers-by seeing. In fact, at one point in those very early years (and I’ve never admitted this to anyone before), I didn’t even want the cat seeing me in case it could somehow inform my parents of what I was doing. Ridiculous? Absolutely! But it shows the fear and paranoia that I had even before I was 10 years old…I was supposed to be a boy but I really didn’t want to be.

Mail order catalogs were brilliant… hundreds of pages of women’s clothing that I would spend hours looking at, picking out outfits that I wanted to wear; but there was something else… I think I first really became aware that women weren’t ‘made’ the same way as men. As I flicked through the pages of underwear, I saw that women were shaped differently. My body wasn’t like theirs and that confused me.

I remember watching the television one day, I was probably 10 or 11 at the time, and seeing a line of dancing girls (think Folies Bergere rather than Pam’s People) – it was probably only on The Two Ronnies or some variety show, but I stared at the screen, then couldn’t look at all in case someone could see how much I wanted a body like those women.

Those early years, from 4 to mid-teens were confusing as I didn’t understand what I was, where I fitted in, and somehow knew that I shouldn’t talk about it… for all that the 1970’s were supposed to be liberating, some things were still better left unsaid. That was the start of being in the closet, an innate belief that something was wrong with me, but that I also shouldn’t talk about it; disappearing into that closet was also the start of the build up of guilt and shame that was to last for decades.

If you would like to contact me to discuss anything regarding this series, or about being transgendered, then please email me at danielle_tg@yahoo.co.uk

Read NEVER BLEND IN – Lose the Label if it’s Limiting YOU – Part One of the Series here: https://t.co/BmmCdxN86t

 

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National Diversity Award Winner, David E. Watters, is a teacher, motivational speaker and writer; a passionate equality advocate, committed to enhancing the lives of young people and adults who may feel marginalised or limited by labels.

As a teacher, he is committed to developing the whole person through creatively challenging students to embrace their unique value, and that of others, to encourage them to fulfill their full potential. He was nominated for an Excellence in Diversity Award 2015, for his contribution to enhancing the diversity agenda within education and for two European Diversity Awards because of his work with the Give ’em Hope Campaign.

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Since graduating from The Institute of Education, University of London, David has gone on to train as a mediator, and is a qualified facilitator for The Pacific Institute. 

As Director of NBI Associates, David devises and delivers engaging, enjoyable and interactive Diversity and Cultural Enhancement workshops utilizing Cognitive Behavioural and Performing Arts strategies for individual, corporate and academic clients.

Watters is also the founder and coordinator of the inclusive, inspirational and international Give ‘em Hope Campaign; an online initiative which utilises all available social networks to encourage and uplift those who doubt their validity, feel isolated or limited by labels, through the sharing of written and video testimonies. The campaign was honoured at the National Diversity Awards 2014 when it won the Community Organisation Award (Multi-Strand).

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Watters was a key player in the Equal Love Campaign UK; taking the British Government to the European Court of Human Rights in 2010 and successfully achieving Marriage Equality for same-sex couples in the United Kingdom.

http://equallove.org.uk/

His passion and expertise has brought many opportunities to write and speak on social change and his book, NEVER BLEND IN, brings together this wealth of experience and the voices of those whom he has met along the way.

TWITTER: @NEVER_BLEND_IN (FOR NEWS ABOUT THE BOOK AND THE GIVE ‘EM HOPE CAMPAIGN)

WEBSITE: https://www.facebook.com/NBIAssociates/

BOOK WEBPAGE: https://www.facebook.com/groups/106980051654/

GIVE ‘EM HOPE CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2D507F373FE6BC7D

GIVE ‘EM HOPE CAMPAIGN GROUP (or FAMILY as we call it): https://www.facebook.com/groups/GiveEmHope/
GIVE ‘EM HOPE PAGE (Come and LIKE us for news and Inspiration): https://www.facebook.com/GIVEemHOPE/  

 

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About neverblendin

David Watters, a graduate of Napier University, Edinburgh, Trinity College of Music, London and the Institute of Education, University of London, has worked internationally within education and Educational Management for more than 20 years. He has taught extensively within many socially and culturally diverse settings; most recently as a Head of Performing Arts within Further Education. He is a personal and professional development associate with The Pacific Institute (www.pacificinstitute.co.uk), personal coach, freelance writer and founding member of NBI Associates. He is a writer on social equality issues, is a key player in the Equal Love Campaign UK and author of the forthcoming book, NEVER BLEND IN which features key voices from the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender community and which aims to inspire and encourage those who may lack self-esteem or who question their validity. David is currently promoting a youtube campaign"Give 'em Hope"and is asking individuals, couples and groups to make and share videos telling about the benefits of living with personal authenticity. He has shared a platform with Stuart Milk and Peter Tatchell and is a supporter of 17-24-30, The Trevor Project, Schools Out, The Terrence Higgins Trust, The Albert Kennedy Trust and numerous others. His background in arts and education, combined with a solid understanding of Cognitive Behavioural Strategies, and his passion for Equality Advocacy drive every aspect of his work as a personal development facilitator, motivational speaker and writer. View all posts by neverblendin

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