Once again, our altruistic friend Karen candidly shares a relatable story from her life.
In this article, our divinely human sister shows that self-respect and respectful responses to others can open hearts and minds. We are all struggling in one way or another and our compassion, our empathy and our kindness are what elevate is to a higher dimension.
We are made of stars and Karen Adell Scot is a Star Seeded Soul who exists to leave a trail of joy behind, as she passes through life.
I arrived at the Warnor’s theater in Fresno, CA to see “The Princess Bride” about an hour and a half early to get good parking. I walked past the theater and into the north end of the Fulton Mall in downtown, not the greatest of areas, and sat down on a bench to read a romance novel I have been enjoying. I was dressed in a low cut red top with a black scarf covering my now ample cleavage, a Scots plaid miniskirt over cute black flower tights and over-the-knee “tinkerbelle” black socks with silver sparkles all over them. The punky outfit was finished off with calf-high black boots. Since it was cold I was in a leather bomber jacket with a black fur collar. I didn’t realize how very different a happy 5’10” Blonde in a punk outfit would stand out like beacon… But I was about to find out.
Three men were walking and chatting with each other and when they got to me, the guy in the center did the best double-take I have ever seen and exclaimed “Ay-Caramba! Mira…” and all three looked at me and nearly instantly said, “Hi there!” I kindly greeted them and went back to my book. They chatted in Spanish about me until out of hearing, and one was holding his hands up like he had boobs. I thought, “How nice.”
A man driving a truck turned a fishing boat around in the street and parked it. When he walked by me. He smiled a huge smile and said, “Well hi there pretty lady!” I greeted him in return and we chatted about his fishing boat he was towing and about the fact he loved fishing. He walked into a building and upon return, asked me if I wanted to go fishing with him. I told him I was there to see a movie, but thanked him for the kind invite. He said, “Too bad dear” and went back to his truck and drove off with a final smile at me, shaking his head sadly.
Another man passed me on a bicycle and when he saw me he nearly crashed it. He said, “Whoa… Hello!” I returned his greeting and went back to my book. Two minutes later, “Mr. Hello” came back, parked his bicycle and looked at me. (You know ladies, like, REALLY looked at me.)
He stated that he was, “Very Lonely” and hoped I could help him with that.
Oh my God, I was being propositioned because he thought I was a sex worker! So much for the cute punky clothes!
I told him that I was not interested in providing him with relief from being lonely and was just downtown to see a movie, then I pointed at the movie theater about 40yds away. He looked disappointed but then sat down right next to me, by my purse, on the bench. I already had my arm through the handles of my purse, but now pulled my purse tighter toward my left hip.
Now, for those of you who do not know me, I am a martial arts master trained in weapons or non-weapons fighting. I am very accomplished. I was in no fear whatsoever from any threat from this man.
He looked at me with inebriated, watery eyes and told me I was “very pretty.” He told me he would make me very happy if I was his girlfriend.
I now viewed him with my heart and was struck with the poor condition of this man. He was pasty, glassy-eyed and his physical condition pointed to a very poor diet. I decided to try to communicate.
I turned, put away my book and then, to my shock, the man began caressing my outer left thigh with his hand! I turned back in a flash!
I instantly blocked his hand and told him to not do that again. He said, “That felt so good!” I told him, “No it didn’t! You need to know that I am a woman who was a Deputy Sheriff and am highly trained to stop any attack upon my person. Do not do that again! Now, let’s talk.”
I discovered his name was Arthur, and he had completely alienated all of his family. His three kids lived in Hawaii and he had once been a painter by trade. He didn’t even know where his kids lived nor how to contact them. He hadn’t worked in ages. He had pretty much ended up on the streets of Fresno because the weather was pretty warm, he could get free food every day and could get alcohol. He had become locked into a pattern from which there was no escape without effort. He had no prospects for the future and was kind of in purgatory. He had settled into living in his stable vagrant lifestyle.
We shared about his life and his hopelessness came through so powerfully. I encouraged him to not give up on his life. We chatted and I could see his desire was more for just a real life than for sex with a tall blonde woman before him, although he would have liked that immensely. He was a fellow human being just like me. He had lost hope. I knew what it felt like to lose hope.
In the end, I bid him adieu and went to see the movie. I will continue to pray for Arthur and the many Arthur’s all across America who are totally valuable human beings who have turned down paths in life that are not the best choices for them.
Last night, I was totally and truly who I am: Just a woman, who became a target for attention by men who were very sad and lonely. I was affirmed in my femininity but also became saddened by the men who in either lust, desperate loneliness or both, sought my female sexual attention. As simply a fellow human being, I hope to see things change to help men like Arthur.