Do We Really Need to Keep Defending Feminism? – Kerry Stott for neverblendin


This is a rant. It may stay up it may not. If you don’t like it don’t read it. And if ANY of you say ‘yeah…but not ALL men’ minimising and derailing a feminist issue into a male one then you will be unfriended. Simple.

I am in my 40s. My mum’s generation fought for womens rights, so why am I still having to do the same?

I used to do judo when I was a kid because I was a bit of a tomboy. Right up until several of the boys said I should fight without a t-shirt under my judo suit…coz yanno only then I would be accepted (and exposing my rather flat chest). I stopped doing judo after a rape threat.

Too many parties when I was younger where I would have to point to my face when young men were actually having conversations with my breasts.

Jobs working in bars where I was told if I complained about the owners son who repeatedly grabbed my breasts, my arse, and tried to grab inbetween my legs; that I would lose my job if I complained.

Numerous (now ex)  boyfriends who would have voliatile emotionally or sometimes physically aggressive hissy fits because how I behaved ‘made’ them act that way. Having no autonomy over their own actions or emotional state.

When I was dating recently to be reminded that me saying no had a LOT less weight to it than the man I was on a date with.

I still walk in well lit areas and I still walk with my keys between my fingers.

I STILL have to envoke the girl code where I will give people lifts home or look after them because it is STILL not safe for women out there.

Why do I get pissed with this issue? Why is it still an issue in 2016? My gender still has to justify itself so much more than men and it makes me sick. It started, for me, when my own mother deemed me the wrong gender: not delighted to have a daughter, disappointed that she did not have a son.

I am so sick of defending feminism. So sick of educating men. So sick of guiding people through what should be pretty obvious territory. So sick of all this bullshit.

No one thing set off this rant. Just 40 years of screaming that I (and all other women) should have the same rights and be treated the same way as men.



About neverblendin

David Watters, a graduate of Napier University, Edinburgh, Trinity College of Music, London and the Institute of Education, University of London, has worked internationally within education and Educational Management for more than 20 years. He has taught extensively within many socially and culturally diverse settings; most recently as a Head of Performing Arts within Further Education. He is a personal and professional development associate with The Pacific Institute (, personal coach, freelance writer and founding member of NBI Associates. He is a writer on social equality issues, is a key player in the Equal Love Campaign UK and author of the forthcoming book, NEVER BLEND IN which features key voices from the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender community and which aims to inspire and encourage those who may lack self-esteem or who question their validity. David is currently promoting a youtube campaign"Give 'em Hope"and is asking individuals, couples and groups to make and share videos telling about the benefits of living with personal authenticity. He has shared a platform with Stuart Milk and Peter Tatchell and is a supporter of 17-24-30, The Trevor Project, Schools Out, The Terrence Higgins Trust, The Albert Kennedy Trust and numerous others. His background in arts and education, combined with a solid understanding of Cognitive Behavioural Strategies, and his passion for Equality Advocacy drive every aspect of his work as a personal development facilitator, motivational speaker and writer. View all posts by neverblendin

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