Dating men as a transgender female is such a challenge. Non-transgender males (we call you “cis-gender” which mean natal males) don’t easily and rarely get it.
Few straight males will consider a transgender woman as anything other than a “man” posing as a woman. Nearly all consider they “become gay” if they date us. Thats not true at all!
Men, change your thinking. We have always been girls. Always.
I think back to when I was courted by a Navy Seal who had been in the teams. He searched for me, according to him, for three years. He and I chatted for months online. When I visited So Cal on a trip he excitedly asked me out. We had an absolutely wonderful evening. We clicked completely. He loved the sea; I did too. He dove, I dove. He loved engines and cars; I did too. He understood combat, as did I. He loved riding Harley’s, I did too. He was a shooter, I was a shooter. He thought I was gorgeous and I thought he was handsome. He loved adventure as did I. We were fantastic together.
Then… He disappeared. His “poof” disappearing act was followed by a single text: “How would this ever work out?” Meaning: “How would I ever explain you to my hypermasculine friends?” The culturally perpetuated falsehood that a transgender woman is just a “male posing as a female” was too powerful for him to oppose.
We have great endurance, deep romantic drives, amazing loyalty and profound commitment. We are often youthful physically and retain tremendous energy and physical ability even into old age. We are super females.
We simply rock, baby.
[Now for you transgender men and women: Be happy as authentic you. We do not take our value by if we are loved or not by any other person. We are infinitely valuable. If you are lonely (as many of us are) volunteer to help others. Caring for others is a balm for a lonely heart. Help at a shelter, an ASPCA, a food bank, or an LGBT center. Help people online. Do TransCare and help with transitions. This assuages loneliness and helps the heart, for in giving you also get. Above all, interact with others, even if only online.]