Author Archives: neverblendin

About neverblendin

David Watters, a graduate of Napier University, Edinburgh, Trinity College of Music, London and the Institute of Education, University of London, has worked internationally within education and Educational Management for more than 20 years. He has taught extensively within many socially and culturally diverse settings; most recently as a Head of Performing Arts within Further Education. He is a personal and professional development associate with The Pacific Institute (, personal coach, freelance writer and founding member of NBI Associates. He is a writer on social equality issues, is a key player in the Equal Love Campaign UK and author of the forthcoming book, NEVER BLEND IN which features key voices from the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender community and which aims to inspire and encourage those who may lack self-esteem or who question their validity. David is currently promoting a youtube campaign"Give 'em Hope"and is asking individuals, couples and groups to make and share videos telling about the benefits of living with personal authenticity. He has shared a platform with Stuart Milk and Peter Tatchell and is a supporter of 17-24-30, The Trevor Project, Schools Out, The Terrence Higgins Trust, The Albert Kennedy Trust and numerous others. His background in arts and education, combined with a solid understanding of Cognitive Behavioural Strategies, and his passion for Equality Advocacy drive every aspect of his work as a personal development facilitator, motivational speaker and writer.

PIFF PAFF POFF To #Bullies (#SpiritDay)

‪Today is #SpiritDay Take a stand with the GIVE ‘EM HOPE CAMPAIGN against #bullying!

#StandUpToBullying #BullyingRuinsLives #ChooseKindness‬



Teaching Should be a Work of Heart – David E Watters


Schools need to identify a child’s passion and use this to stimulate their desire to learn.

I absolutely believe that this is the only way forward for our schools and for our young people but I also absolutely believe that this is not what drives the agenda for senior leaders in most schools: from recruitment of staff, approaches to assessment of teaching and learning or the understanding of the wider educational outcomes which prepare our children to function successfully as adults.

Finding what drives a child is what will help that child to engage in and take ownership of his or her own learning and development.

This can never be underestimated.

Round pegs in square holes become broken and forced conformity creates untold unnecessary problems; disengagement, disenfranchisement and (unsurprisingly) disruptive behaviours and this damages the child way beyond the school years into adulthood.

We have a duty to lead out what is within each child, to nurture and nourish them so that they may grow into the most majestic version of themselves; not cut them off at the roots so that they fail to fulfil their potential.

But what do I know?


When I come home to you, #SanFrancisco, Your golden sun will shine for me – David E Watters for neverblendin 

Part of my own hopeless to hopeful story that you may not have heard before.

“I left my heart in San Francisco

High on a hill, it calls to me

To be where little cable cars climb halfway to the stars

The morning fog may chill the air, I don’t care”

Saying YES is so vital – Some Explanation as to why I MUST Return to San Francisco | NEVER BLEND IN




A Gay Couple, After Receiving Threats, ‘fear for their lives’

Suspicious Fire Destroys Their Building

A gay couple’s building has been burned down, leaving them scared for their lives.

Police in Pageland, South Carolina have called the fire which destroyed Neil and Tim Griffin’s 3,000-square foot structure “suspicious” after the pair reported receiving threats beforehand.

The building was still being constructed, and did not yet have power.

The married couple woke up smelling smoke around 2am on Friday – but it was already too late.

“By the time the fire department got here, the building was 80 percent, 90 percent gone,” Tim told local station WSOC TV Channel 9. “It went down just like that.”

The Griffins were planning to use the building, which sat just a few feet away from their home, for their annual Miss Pageland pageant.

The pageant is run by the Griffin Scholarship Foundation, which is part of the official Miss United States organization and does charitable work in the community.

After seeing thousands of dollars of pageant supplies like dresses burnt up during Thursday night’s fire, they accused people of trying to run them out of town.

Writing on Facebook, Tim said: “I am so tired and beat, but have not been able to close my eyes and sleep.”

He blamed this on “the sheer fear that there are people out there still posting HATE and still fanning the flames of the evil hate that is destroying this town, that I fear our home being set on fire with us and the fur babies inside.

“This fear is real and justified.”

Last night, he said that he and Neil would be missing a local high school’s Homecoming event for the first time since the couple moved to Pageland, because of this fear.

“I will not be attending tonight due to the recent discovery of threats of bodily harm,” he wrote.

“We have been instructed by [law enforcement] to be cautious, vigilant, and aware of our surroundings.

“I have lived through some of the most hateful anti-gay times here in America, but I have never feared for my home, my pets and my life, but now…I am scared to be in my own home and in the community that I LOVE!!!”

In a powerful Facebook post, Neil claimed locals had been working to get them to leave for years, through the following increasingly horrific actions:

“Since moving to Pageland, we’ve tried to get people to understand the hate directed at us by a small but vicious group.

“No one has taken it seriously, not when my Mom’s house was vandalized and burned down. Not when we were forced out of First Baptist Church.

“Not when someone shot at us at 311 McGregor. Not after being called fags and attacked on Main Street. Not after Tim’s Mercedes was totally destroyed.

“Not after shrubs and trees were ripped out of our yard and thrown in the street. Not after a hate notice was spread all over Pageland begging people not to let Pageland become a ‘fag town’ with our picture on it.

“Not after being threatened repeatedly by ‘upstanding’ citizens. Not after people have stated to anyone who would listen they were going to run us out of town.

“Not after a lunatic sent multiple hate letters to the sheriff, school board, superintendent, newspapers, town council, chamber of commerce, Sec. of State, Attorney General, and God knows who else.

“Not after threatening FB posts and private messages. Not after all these things and more has anyone stepped up and taken us seriously. Well, fasten your seat belts, it’s going to be a bumpy ride.”

But while Neil spoke in a determined fashion, Tim sounded utterly resigned.

“We’re defeated,” he told Channel 9. “We’ll go. We’re done.”

Here is their story and the news video:…/receiving-threats-gay-couple…/

Is it Ok to be Me? – Ken Knox for neverblendin

Ken Knox is a writer, reporter, post card entrepreneur, gay liberal atheist and Facebook enthusiast with flair. He is also a man who, like many of us, struggles with some niggling self-doubt.

We all have it, to some degree or another, although some can conceal it, to some degree or another, better than others.

There is no shame in modelling honest vulnerability, in fact, there is a great strength. It is empowering to own one’s self-doubt, to challenge one’s self-perception and assess one’s validity and worth. Empowering for the one speaking with candour and for those who hear the words. As I said, we are all, if we are as honest as Ken, struggling with some niggling self-doubt.

Is it Ok to be Me? – Ken Knox for neverblendin


I tell ya: It’s hard being a single gay man in today’s world. Especially one of a certain age.

I have purposely shied away from so-called “dating” apps like Grindr and Scruff for the last couple years because I didn’t like how I felt about myself after being on them for too long. But, living in a small town like Gettysburg, where there are very few openly gay men who are out and about, it sometimes becomes necessary to use them to meet people.

So I signed onto Grindr last night for the first time in months and immediately I was reminded why I stopped using it. Right away messages like “How hung, sir?” and “Looking to fuck, man?” started coming through, accompanied by the unsolicited dick or ass pic, without so much as a “hello” or “hey” to preface the sexual come-ons. And Heaven forbid you actually engage in one of these casual tryst discussions, because you’ll absolutely be reminded of all the various ways you fail in the “hot man” department. One guy chatted me up at length, only to dismiss me with a curt “Never mind” after he realized I was not a total gym rat muscle man. But at least HE responded: Most of the guys can’t even be bothered to acknowledge your existence unless you fall into one of their cookie-cutter “types.” (As if sexual compatibility is the only prerequisite that matters when it comes to social interaction. What about common fucking courtesy??)

Couple that with all the rejection I’ve experienced in my life, and it’s enough to make me retreat back into myself, tail between my legs, where I can go back to being the guarded, insecure and socially awkward teenager I was growing up, back when I felt like I didn’t “measure up” to all the other boys in school. Because I certainly don’t measure up to what most of the gay men I come across on Grindr or Scruff seem to be looking for. I’m either too old or too fat or too bald or too hairy or not muscular enough or not masculine enough. And those are tough things to hear when you’re still hearing the voices that told you you were not good enough growing up. As much as I would like to have a thick skin and not take it too personally, I’m not always successful. I’m just sensitive to hearing how flawed others think I am, and it can still sting when I do. I struggle with it constantly. And no, it doesn’t get easier the older you get. In fact, the older I get, the louder the ticking of the clock that tells me that time is running out on me ever finding someone to share my life with.

But oh well. What can you do, right? People are going to be people. They are going to throw slings and arrows at you because they’re entitled or oblivious or just plain mean, and at the end of the day you just have to surrender because there’s not a whole lot you can do about fixing EVERYTHING that’s “wrong” with you. Sometimes you just have to suck it up, take a deep breath and let it out with a sigh, and just be OK being you. I may not be the hottest guy in the world. I may not “measure up” to those high standards. But I am who I am, and I guess I just have to accept it or be miserable and sad the rest of my life.

So this is me trying to be OK with myself today, just as I’m trying to do EVERY DAY. It would be great if one of these days I DIDN’T have to work so frickin’ hard at it, but until then, I’ll just have to keep on trying.

At least I’m making the effort. Right?? 😉

neverblendin – Diversity news and views, touching testimonies and inspiring commentary. Contact to comment or contribute.  







We Can COEXIST (Believe it, or not) – David E Watters for neverblendin

Believe it, or not, I am all for religion and for those of faith to follow their beliefs.

It is the extremist believers, of all flavours, who don’t get the basic point that Freedom of Belief means the freedom to believe or not, the freedom to practice that belief or the freedom to live a non-faith life without fear of unfair treatment or prejudice that really gets me going.

We live in a multi-cultural and a multi-faith society so why should a twisted view of any faith rule over everyone?

I respect all religions and the right of all individuals to live as they see fit but I can’t respect those who use their religion to justify discriminatory, judgemental or inhumane behaviour towards others…

I didn’t get to middle-age without forming a few beliefs of my own and I don’t need convincing that I’m deluded, in need of saving or converting to any ideology that speaks of love yet promotes hate.

If God is going to judge us for sinning differently to others then please let’s just shut up and wait till that day comes.

It also bemuses me that there is such a preoccupation with religious extremism elsewhere in the world when religious groups and religiously biased legislating in the West seem to be the one thing preventing full equal rights for many of us.

After all, we have so much more things in common than we have that make us different.

Religions of all flavours have their foundation in love for our fellow men and women, depending on how we interpret whichever good book, so why don’t we all just get back to a more rational belief in valuing all of humanity?

You may say I’m naive to over-simplify or to dream that such a utopian ideal could ever exist but I say the answer to the most complex of questions is often the simplest of equations.


David E Watters (Give ‘em Hope Campaign) 


When Being Authentic is Political 

Yesterday was National Coming Out Day. 

Harvey Milk said, “coming out is the most political thing you can do.” 

Your life has value and your gift to yourself and the world is to live authentically. 

As important as it is for LGBTQ people to live their truth, it is equally important that our heterosexual and/or cisgendered friends and family make it known that they support our right to live openly. 

There may be someone in your life who feels that they have no one to talk to and your position as an ally would make them feel more able to talk and find that there is support and love out there.

When did you come out? Tell us your story. Post it here as a written comment or as a video. Alternatively, you can email your story to me for inclusion on our blog. 

Email: #NeverBlendIn #NationalComingOutDay

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